Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist DS has closed toe sandals this year?

181 replies

NoTheyAreNotTeenagers · 06/06/2019 08:08

He's 9. And will not go sockless. He refuses to go anywhere without socks on unless it's the swimming pool. I have managed to persuade him to wear the short trainer style socks when he is wearing shorts. AIBU to suggest I get him some closed toe sandals this year so it's not so obvious he's wearing socks?

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 06/06/2019 08:59

My dd’s will be wearing trainers or sliders, dd2 does have sandals for in the garden but when we go out they prefer to wear trainers/pumps.

1tisILeClerc · 06/06/2019 09:00

Considering the damage that 'fashion' does to the world you should leave him be, with socks if he wants.
If he finds that the people that are important to him (his schoolfriends) laugh at him, he will stop.

WillLokireturn · 06/06/2019 09:01

My DDs went through an year of wearing socks and sports sandals aged 5-9. I recall one particularly "German holiday maker" looking outfit with socks half way up their skins, sandals and shorts for a day at Legoland. Apparently it was "more comfortable"!
I let them get on with it as that's what they wanted, (whilst older DS and I secretly cringed 😆. That was DS's and my problem not my beautiful 2 DDs'.) Th They've moved on to different style choices now.

I wonder if your DS doesn't like feet or toes? Some people really don't. (His feet will be as soft as a baby's bottom though if he never walks around barefooted!)

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 06/06/2019 09:01

I've always thought the insistence that Thou Shalt Not Wear Socks With Sandals was bloody stupid, so yabu.

It's frequently too hot for closed shoes, thus sandals, but too cold to wear sandals barefoot. You're also more likely to get filthy feet without the socks, and that's a bit of a pain if you're walking to your yoga class.

freshstartnewme · 06/06/2019 09:02

Why does he have to wear sandals?

What's wrong with trainers or converse etc?

AChickenCalledKorma · 06/06/2019 09:05

We camp in a lovely remote spot in Wales most summers. There are about a billion biting insects and I therefore wear socks with my sandals even though it looks ridiculous. And it is so much more comfortable than going without socks. Sad but true.

At the age of 9, hopefully he's more interested in playing comfortably than looking good. So leave him be. Peer pressure will kick in at some point.

ReanimatedSGB · 06/06/2019 09:06

If your only justification is worrying about how it looks then you need to get over yourself. It's up to him if he wants to look 'silly'.

MerryMarigold · 06/06/2019 09:06

Agh, let him wear what he wants. I thought for a minute YOU were insisting on socks and was a bit Hmm. But if it's him, just let him wear what he's comfy in. Does he like sandals? If not, save the money and let him wear whatever shoes he wants. Ds1 (13) has a pair of astros for weekend and school shoes for school/ smart dress. That's all he wants to wear so I save money!

Original poster
NoTheyAreNotTeenagers · 06/06/2019 09:06

Slow down, slow down. I have never said that I'm trying to get my child to not wear socks.
As I said, the only time he doesn't wear them is when he's swimming or in the shower/bath. It is clearly a thing for him and that is ok. I'm just wondering if I should try to mitigate the ridiculousness of sandals and socks by suggesting he tries out closed toe sandals this year.
I am by no means fashionable, but after having been mocked by classmates for a very long time as a child for my parents' appalling fashion sense, (including being cornered in public toilets as a teenager by complete strangers who pulled apart every aspect of my "outfit") I see it as part of my responsibility as a parent to not leave him open to ridicule. So trying to ensure that he doesn't stand out too much from his classmates.

OP posts:
sackrifice · 06/06/2019 09:07

I'm 51 and a half and rarely go out without socks on. I hate the feel of any shoes or sandals against my feet and loathe getting sand or grit in shoes or sandals.

Leave him be.

CCquavers · 06/06/2019 09:08

Why can’t he wear socks? Pick your battles.

Wixi · 06/06/2019 09:10

I think it's hilarious those saying "9 year old wears what they are told", my DD9 would rather go naked if she didn't agree with what I told her to wear. I've largely given up, unless it is a safety issue or school uniform - even that she wears what she wants within the rules, ie shorts instead of dress, etc.

mamamiass · 06/06/2019 09:11

Have you asked him a reason behind having socks. Is it possible that there is underlying problem like cold feet or sensation in his feet or simply the shoes are more comfortable? E.g. my skin is so sensitive that it blisters easily.

kateandme · 06/06/2019 09:12

is it a thing at the moment.god we used to wrip my dad apart for doing this.it/he was the family joke!

HomeMadeMadness · 06/06/2019 09:12

I also don't get why he can't just wear trainers? They're more comfortable for running around in anyway. If he's actually going to a beach I'd just let him wear socks and sandals - who cares he's 9. Other 9 year olds aren't going to care. Are you more worried that other adults will think it's a reflection of your style choices?

freshstartnewme · 06/06/2019 09:13

I'm just wondering if I should try to mitigate the ridiculousness of sandals and socks by suggesting he tries out closed toe sandals this year.

But why though?

Why do you feel he needs to wear sandals at all?

HomeMadeMadness · 06/06/2019 09:13

I also agree with PP that most 9 year olds pick out their own clothes and have their own style. You'd have to be pretty victorian to demand your child dress a certain way (beyond ensuring their clothes are appropriate for the occasion).

Gruzinkerbell1 · 06/06/2019 09:13

Why does he need sandals? Get him some lightweight trainers and let him crack on with his socks.

paxillin · 06/06/2019 09:14

Can you even get closed toe sandals for 9 year olds? I only see them in the baby- and toddler section.

Helenluvsrob · 06/06/2019 09:14

Do not sweat the small stuff !

Who cares socks and sandals if he wants. It not like it’s a seat belt or something else non negotiable.

LoafofSellotape · 06/06/2019 09:14

Wixi
I agree.

By 9 you should start to encourage independence and choosing clothes that you feel comfortable in is surely part of that.

HomeMadeMadness · 06/06/2019 09:15

I am by no means fashionable, but after having been mocked by classmates for a very long time as a child for my parents' appalling fashion sense,

Sorry OP I missed this update. I think you're worrying a bit too much based on your past experiences. AT 9 he's got a while before he has to worry about this kind of thing. I would be inclined to let him wear trainers or whatever he's comfortable in for now and worry about peer pressure when he's a bit older.

kateandme · 06/06/2019 09:16

that was force upon you by your parents though op.and this is his choice to wear the sock yes?so its a bit different and youd fully support him wearing or not wearing them still gives him that choice you never had.so if people mock him(idiots) then im sure he will soon change.or at least be able to come to you with it.
id just let him,keep it open and be aware.then youll spot if he looks like he troubled with teasing etc.

Justwantaneasylifenowplease · 06/06/2019 09:18

DSS loves white or black branded socks.(nike, Santa Cruz) pulled up mid calf. With his adidas slides .... as do ALL of his mates. They all covet stupid tan lines. Leave him be ...... it's the height of fashion don't you knowConfused

chipsandgin · 06/06/2019 09:18

I’d agree with the ‘pick your battles’ argument. My 9 year old DS wears Hawain shirts, bright t-shirts & a straw trilby with mirrored sunglasses & shorts as his number one summer outfit (much to the shame of his ‘fit in with the crowd’ 15 year old brother!).

I wouldn’t worry & totally agree that unless it’s a practical issue/health & safety issue like wellies in bed or cycling helmets or a requirement like uniform then who cares!

How are all these kids who are ‘told’ what to wear & have no input going to become their own people!? Presumably they become the kind of men whose wives buy their clothes for them because they’ve never developed their own independence or sense of individual style...