To think I can return to work 3-4 weeks after giving birth?

[RoguePudding]

As in title, really. I'm pregnant with my first, self-employed, and if I pass on this assignment because of the baby, I may be without income for much longer than we could afford. What is probably important to know:

• my job is intellectually challenging, but involves no physical labour whatsoever
• I can work from home
• It would be for about 16 hours a week
• 3 weeks would be the worst case scenario. The assignment starts five weeks after my due date
• my husband works fulltime

Is this feasible? Anyone else return to (parttime) work or perhaps studies very quickly?

Your*

What happens if you cant juggle it and you do a bad job? Will you reputation suffer causing you to lose other potential jobs?

Saying no to this job right now would probably cost me the client as well for any future assignments, so it makes little difference. I don't like doing a poor job, though!

You might manage fine! I had a straightforward birth, was up and about within an hour of delivery, home the next day. Newborns sleep a lot. If you breastfeed you can feed in a stretchy wrap sling at the computer. I was surprised at how much 'free time' I had with a newborn.

With dc1, yes, I could have probably found 2 hours once or twice a day to work. It would have been inconsistent, and I would had to stop and start a lot, with all the inefficiencies that come with that. I really, really wouldn’t have wanted to though, but I appreciate that I had a decent maternity package.

With DC2 - crash c section, traumatic birth, long and complicated recovery, Velcro baby who didn’t sleep more than 2 unbroken hours at all until she was over 3years old - no way, even taking the older sibling out of the picture. I couldn’t stand up straight for 9 weeks, or sit comfortably for very long. The post operative pain was far too distracting to think about much, even with Tramadol. Or without - they did make me a bit fuzzy.

I don’t think you’ll be able to know before your baby is here. They are all different, and they change all the time.

Providing everything goes well with you and the baby, I think you could do it. I'm in a similar situation to you, work from home, own business etc and I started back 2 weeks after birth. Babies sleep a lot, I could be on the computer while breastfeeding, DH was a hands on dad etc so it worked for me.

I think you'll struggle to manage 5 months working 16 hours a week, starting 5 weeks after your due date - without any childcare.

Best case scenario is you have an easy birth, and a sleepy baby who feeds well and you can put down in the early days and who sleeps through from a very young age. You'll then be able to fit in the work while they nap during the day / in the evening once they are in bed / at the weekend while your DH provides childcare.

A more likely scenario is that at least one of those things won't hold true. If you could delay the start something like 10 weeks post due date the chances are much higher you'll have a baby that actually does some sleeping at night even if they are still waking every 2 hours - so your brain is vaguely functional and you can actually work in the evening / at the weekend. Is your DH the kind who would be OK getting home from work and immediately being on duty - ie looking after the baby and tidying / cleaning so you can get work done, and then doing the same at the weekend?

If you have the determination OP I think you will be fine, I know lots of self employed people who had to go back after 4/5 weeks (who worked from home) and they juggled it just fine. You’ll be shattered but you’re under no illusion of that.
For me personally I was fine 3/4 PP with my first so I could have if my job needed to me too.
If you can give an hour day to it when baby is awake then an hour in the evening when your DH comes home I reckon you will be fine.

My newborn barely slept, had colic and so when she was awake she was screaming. There was no down time. If I had a minute I ate something or brushed my teeth and there were days when that didn't happen. There is no way I could have worked at that stage.

It could be either very possible or completely impossible. You don't know how you're going to be.
You don't know the type of birth you're going to have or even how its going to affect you. Also even if you do have a straight forward vaginal delivery. You still dont how you're going to be emotionally. At the moment you just can't call it.

It really depends on the birth and any possible issues afterwards with you and the baby. I was like a zombie for a good 10 weeks but had complications before and after and a C section birth. But newborns do sleep a lot and if you have some help for the 16 hours that you need to work per week then it might be do able. Some people bounce right back after a week so you could be one of the lucky ones.

It's impossible to tell until the baby comes, it depends on whether it sleeps well, has colic or not or all sorts of things. There are so many variables. Could you take the assignment, but have a back up person who could take over in case you can't manage?

Bearing in mind it's 5 months and most of that is without childcare I am sorry but I think it will be very very tough. You will be getting disturbed sleep so will be very very tired. You will have very little idea for at least the first half of that time when the baby will sleep and so can't plan your time effectively, you will just be getting started and the baby will wake for a feed or start crying. They may have problems which you can't predict or just be colicky and need constant round the clock attention. If you do have to do most of the 16 hrs when your DH is at home then you will barely see him.

If needs must then of course you will have to go for it but I would be looking for alternatives.

And of course there's the sleep factor.
You might get one that sleeps like a dream or one that has you up all night.

yes You will definitely need childcare from around 4 months upwards. I think it would be quite unfair on the child not to have it actually, because they need more interaction from you and will be doing more than just feeding/ sleeping

As I said, I had childcare from 12 weeks so was bf, dropping off at childminder and then doing a full day’s work. If I’d been working flexibly from home in small chunks like you OP, I reckon I might have got away with having my dd at home til she was a little older than that ... as far as I recall that first month the childminder had it pretty easy.. dd still slept for 2 good chunks during the day and lay happily in her pram with toys for probably another chunk. But from 4 months on, she wanted to be sitting propped up, playing and interacting more.

You'll be fine but only if you have someone to help with the baby.

I think you can do it if

• it doesn't have super-fixed hours, like 'must do a phone interview at 2pm for 60 mins'
• you won't get yourself in to big problems (eg loss of reputation that kills future business) if you have to cancel project due to you or baby being in a bad way post-partum

Get as organised as you can beforehand. Think about how you will sit at computer - I found sitting on hard chair still uncomfortable by that stage, due to stitches & swollen perineum. I also had v v weak abdominal muscles.

Try and get out & about for bit of daylight and to stretch legs whenever you can.

You'll be getting close to the stage where baby is quite likely to sit in a bouncy chair & watch you for chunks of time, especially if you talk to them about what you are doing. And if you have good luck in baby's personality.

Definitely consider a routine from very early days. Read the Gina Ford book for ideas.

Congratulations, btw

I couldnt really cope in week 3 the lack of sleep the bodily changed and terrible end to pregnancy hit me really hard. I could never have worked

Invest in a wrap sling and have somewhere you can use computer/laptop while baby wearing. Baby will be content and you are hands free to work.
If needed think about safely co-sleeping so you can maximise evening sleep to aid your concentration.
Get stocked up with meals in freezer and easy snacks so you don’t have to worry about cooking.
Doable with some prep.
I had section with my recent baby (2nd) and other than first night home from hospital the first couple months were relatively easy. I did feed on demand but baby slept a lot and was happy to go down in bouncy chair/pram by day (night was a different issue).
Good luck!

My 1st baby arrived early while I was still writing my dissertation, from the point he was a few days old I spent large parts of each day with him asleep on my chest and the laptop on my knee typing it. It wasnt easy, I'd have rather been watching daytime TV or napping, but it wasn't hideously difficult either.

I was exhausted, I certainly wasn't up to leaving the house for long, but sitting on the laptop was survivable. The big difference here is that I had the end in sight, which is what powered me through, 5 months of it would have been hard. If you need to financially then you will manage. And if you enjoy the work that will help!

I was back in year 13 a week after I had ds at 18- I had to finish or else I couldn’t have taken up my university place. I worked with him in one arm and writing the other, and in lessons I wrote whilst my teachers talked at the front giving ds cuddles!

I didn’t realise till your second post that you weren’t going to have childcare. I’d say it’s impossible. For some reason small babies stop you doing things, you just sort of fell through your days doing damage limitation.
Or maybe that was just me.

If you’re organised enough, it may be possible. If you’re working from home, you could be in bed with the baby, feed and work. They sleep a lot during the first weeks, but you may end up with a crier which would ruin your plans, but even then, very possible.

It all depends on what kind of baby you have. I don’t think I could’ve done it with my son, but with my dd’s, I can understand how easy it may have been.

It's a bit how long is a piece of string really. I know someone who is self employed and didn't stop working at all when she had her twins and she was based off site - although she did hugely reduce her hours.

I couldn't have with my first. I was too overwhelmed and spent the first 7 weeks in bed trying to establish breastfeeding. I couldn't have with my second because she didn't sleep EVER and I was pushing pnd territory with my sleep deprivation and average of 2 hours sleep a night. I could have with my third who was really quite easy at that point. However she was 2 weeks late and was then admitted to hospital at 4 days old and then didn't come home until she was 9 days old and wasn't actually better and off IV antibiotics until she was 2 weeks old. Plus I had a postnatal infection and wasn't recovered until 3 weeks postpartum. All of that took me to 5 weeks after her due date. I wouldn't have wanted to start working at that point or earlier.

So it's a bit of a stab in the dark really. If you go for it then I think you need a contingency plan too.

I would say it's definitely possible! The first fire weeks of maternity leave are pretty boring anyway - baby doesn't really do much other than sleep and eat so if you're in a routine with naps you could definitely work around baby?

For comparison during my maternity leave I boarded the loft, painted the utility, painted the whole external of the house all why baby slept in a baby carrier nearby - went back to work once all my DIY jobs were ticked off 😂