To think I can return to work 3-4 weeks after giving birth?

[RoguePudding]

As in title, really. I'm pregnant with my first, self-employed, and if I pass on this assignment because of the baby, I may be without income for much longer than we could afford. What is probably important to know:

• my job is intellectually challenging, but involves no physical labour whatsoever
• I can work from home
• It would be for about 16 hours a week
• 3 weeks would be the worst case scenario. The assignment starts five weeks after my due date
• my husband works fulltime

Is this feasible? Anyone else return to (parttime) work or perhaps studies very quickly?

Three weeks after the first, I was still too weak to carry baby up and down the stairs following a tough pregnancy, long labour and emcs.

Three weeks after the second I was still sitting on frozen sweetcorn and wishing pain relief actually relieved pain.

I was unable to walk further than 100m or sit for more than a couple of hours and certainly not drive.

No one plans tough pregnancies, high recovery births or high maintainence babies. It's great if you are one of the lucky ones, but it's a huge gamble to have external commitments that rest upon being functional in the early days after having a baby.

Yes, in all probability it's possible.

I went back two weeks after my first. I had a nanny that stayed close by and if I needed to go to meetings the nanny came too.
It was hard.

If you have to do it, you have to do it but if you do have a choice i would think very seriously.

3 weeks in you’re still going to be in that transition phase, huge change to your life and suddenly the overwhelming responsibility for a tiny humans health and happiness. You will also still be recovering from birth and likely bleeding heavily, hormones & sleeping patterns insane, swollen boobs etc etc. And that is on the assumption that, god forbid, neither of you are required to stay in hospital for an extended period. There are so many unknowns and 5 months is a long time.

Is there no way of pushing the project back and starting when baby is more like 3 months? Generally seems to be a coming out of the fog age.

I went back at 4 weeks. Me and DP worked different hours so, while we were both FT, there could always be someone with DD. It was hard at first but it does work and we've kept it up for years now.
However, there is always the possibility that there will be PP health concerns and if you're working from home then you ARE going to be concentrating on the baby.
So very possible but very hard.

I've got an 18 week old.... I think I could have worked weeks 4-14ish but now is a very difficult age. He doesn't sleep all the time like he did as a newborn, wants lots of attention and stimulation and I'm finding it far harder than the early days.

I don't think anyone can answer it for you... it's dependent on so many factors... your birth experience, how they sleep, your feeding, their natural temperament, your own hormones and mental state.... what would happen if you started working then found it too much of a struggle - could you get help?

I would say it sounds very difficult, but possible if you really have to. But sleep deprivation will likely make the standard of your work much poorer than it is now, so bear that it mind.

But it sounds like you are suggesting you can work 16 hours a week without using childcare? I would say that is not feasible. There are some babies who seem to sleep a lot in the early weeks, but it isn't the norm. Unless you are planning on working when your partner has the baby I think you will need childcare.

You need childcare to do it properly. Can you not afford some? Even three hours a day would make a huge difference to what you can get done and your stress levels.

Well surely that depends what kind of baby you have and also how your birth goes? With my first - no way. With my second - yes I could have - he was a very easy baby and I had an easier birth.

I could afford / arrange childcare maybe from four months onwards. But yes, initially I would be working without childcare available. Some of the work can be done in the evenings or weekends when DH is home, but not all.

Can you do it in small chunks ( 30 min/hour)? If you are able to do it in small sessions and make use of evenings and weekends when you are both home it could be possible. How sustainable you will find it over 5 months as the baby grows and sleeps less is unpredictable.

I would be surprised if you even managed to get washed and dressed after just 3 weeks, never mind going back go work! This is your first child, your DH works FT so take some much needed maternity leave and bond with your NB.

If you are well supported I don't see the problem. The sleep deprivation would make it difficult for most.

That said, at 2/3 weeks postpartum I am surprisingly able physically and mentally. Even with baby brain and sleep deprivation and breastfeeding trouble I am still not far off my best. Pregnancy crippled me every which way but once baby arrives it's like everything improves.

You need childcare to do it properly. Can you not afford some?

I really can't.

Another thing to consider is actually being away from your baby that young.... I wouldn't have been able to work even with him in another room with a nanny. I was totally obsessed with holding and cuddling him. Maybe I have massive separation anxiety but even now at 4 months if he goes out with DP for 3 hours I miss him dreadfully

.... but I'll also complain that I have no time to myself! I realise it's very ridiculous 😂

Can you do it in small chunks ( 30 min/hour)?

Absolutely.

All the posters talking about how other women around the world go back straight after work after giving birth - surely they’re working out of the home with childcare in place?

The OP is talking about doing 16 hours a week, from home, while looking after her baby, for 5 months, with no childcare. Sorry OP but given your updates I really do t think it’s a good idea.

Only you can make the decision though, good luck whatever you decide x

I went back full time as a civil servant when ds was six weeks old. Had a lovely childminder, ds in a good routine and it was pretty easy tbh probably easier than when he was nine months and aware of missing me.

What would be the implications if you tried this and it just wasn’t possible for whatever reason? Could you bow out gracefully or would you damage relationships and future work prospects?

What happens if you cant juggle it and you do a bad job? Will you reputation suffer causing you to lose other potential jobs?

I did it when my third one was 2 weeks old - major project at work that needed my help. I didn't need the money but did it for my career progression. Similar set up - I was able to work at home, all on a computer, not physically taxing. I really regretted it tbh. I resented having to work when I could be sleeping or resting. I was stressed by work at a time I shouldn't have been. The childcare wasn't the issue - I was able to work around the baby sleeping etc but I still regretted it.

it depends on how much you need the money imo.

If it is a very flexible 16 hours and you can easily dip in and out then I'd have found it possible if needs must. I wouldn't have wanted to at all though as that newborn time is so fleeting and I loved not having to think about work. I went back when my baby was 6 months and was sad about it but it was fine in the end.

All the posters talking about how other women around the world go back straight after work after giving birth - surely they’re working out of the home with childcare in place?

That's why I was wondering if other mums had maybe gone back to studying without childcare so soon after giving birth - doing homework, studying for exams, that sort of thing. It would be more comparable.

If you baby is a sleeper OP then go for it. But if you're bf it will be hard, if baby doesnt sleep it will be hard, if you have a shit labour and recovery it will be hard.