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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I can return to work 3-4 weeks after giving birth?

439 replies

RoguePudding · 02/06/2019 20:47

As in title, really. I'm pregnant with my first, self-employed, and if I pass on this assignment because of the baby, I may be without income for much longer than we could afford. What is probably important to know:

my job is intellectually challenging, but involves no physical labour whatsoever
I can work from home
It would be for about 16 hours a week
3 weeks would be the worst case scenario. The assignment starts five weeks after my due date
my husband works fulltime

Is this feasible? Anyone else return to (parttime) work or perhaps studies very quickly?

OP posts:

EAIOU · 02/06/2019 21:02

I was knackered and teary for about 6weeks and sat with my claws with my precious first baby for this time too. I was very much in love (I am still) and was happy to just watch her for hours.

If you need the income and it's essential. Have you family that's nearby?

Neverender · 02/06/2019 21:02

I laughed before I had DD and was like, "Why would I need a YEAR off work." Yeah, well, I did. Being a Mum is a bit mental and really hard work but, having said that, if you really want to do this then do it!

OpportunityKnocks · 02/06/2019 21:02

What's your husbands spl policy? Do they have an enhanced one? Could he take advantage of that if you went back to work that soon?

Celebelly · 02/06/2019 21:03

There are so many variables, really. How long would the assignment last? Newborns do tend to spend a lot of the day asleep but it does change and the flip side is that they're often up a lot of the night so their nap time is a time for you to rest. If you're breastfeeding you might find yourself clusterfeeding a lot about this time too and trapped under a feeding baby for a few hours.

You might have an easy baby who will happily sleep in their Moses basket while you work. Or you might have a velcro baby that will only sleep when they're on you. You might have a refluxy baby who cries a lot, or you might have a placid baby who doesn't make a squeak. I think at the least you'll need a plan for some childcare in place.

I'm self-employed and I couldn't have done it in those early weeks (and I have a very easy baby). I was still tired and sore after a traumatic labour and honestly I wanted to focus on my baby in those first few weeks and not have work to think about or feel I 'had' to do things or spend the limited free time I had working. I didn't really have the headspace for it. I've passed up a couple of good projects but it's been worth it for me.

Number3or4 · 02/06/2019 21:04

It all depends on the baby. If your baby is like my ds1 then yes, you can. However, if your baby is anything like my ds3 then no you can't.

PinkOboe · 02/06/2019 21:04

I’d also worry that the stress of having that need hanging over you might increase the huge stress / anxiety etc that is common after having a baby

I was very, very tearful for a good few weeks. I recall sitting with tears rolling down my face saying to DH that I had no idea why I was crying. I was pretty relaxed, the baby was relatively easy, everything was ok. I just couldn’t stop crying. It was a whirl of hormones. If I was thinking ‘I’ve got 3 weeks, I’ve got two weeks, next week I need to work’ it might’ve been too much.

Original poster

RoguePudding · 02/06/2019 21:04

It's a five month assignment, so it wouldn't be just a few weeks (and it would give me a nice steady income for a while).

OP posts:

Marmighty · 02/06/2019 21:04

Could you start the assignment before you have the baby, get things to a certain point?

Could your DP take their paternity leave when you have to do this work?

I did do a freelance assignment for a couple of weeks when DD2 was four weeks old but it was something I'd done before, it wasn't my finest work,and DH was on hand for childcare.

Does your client know you're having a baby, and would it damage your reputation if you had to cancel at short notice?

Ylvamoon · 02/06/2019 21:04

I think a lot depends on the type of birth you have, how quickly you recover and what type of baby you have - form 24/7 sleeper to all out screamer anything is possible.

Make plans and be prepared to change them at short notice.

WhatIfIHadnt · 02/06/2019 21:05

If the work is three hours a day could you do it in the evening once DH has come home from work?

ScreamScreamIceCream · 02/06/2019 21:05

With all these things the answer is - it depends.

If you have an easy birth, an easy baby and a DP who pulls his weight without you standing over him do you can work when he's at home or alternative childcare while you work then yes.

CassianAndor · 02/06/2019 21:07

Hanging out on MN is not intellectually challenging!

You could have a baby who feeds a lot, or very slowly, and will only sleep on you. You have no idea what your labour will be like.

16 hours a week isn’t many, to be sure, but I think there are too many variables to commit to this work. You could end up letting your client down badly and the financial consequences of that could be more severe than not taking the work in the first place.

PositiveVibez · 02/06/2019 21:08

I worked for a tiny company, it was a charity and although we were small, we were a national organisation. I did the finances which included a looking after a government funding budget, for which had to be accounted for whenever asked.

I offered to carry on doing this one day per week and my boss used to drop the invoices etc off on a Friday nd pick them up the Friday after.

I done a couple of hours here and there when dd was asleep, or when dh got in work and took over.

It was fine and worked for us and instead of getting paid for it (was in ssp for 9 months), I was offered an extra months maternity on full pay after 9 months.

Worked out well.

Not saying every baby/person is the same, but I enjoyed doing it tbh.

Tryingtoocope · 02/06/2019 21:09

I think this is possible if you are in the right frame of mind. Don't let other people's experience put you off of something that is a long term goal to financially secure your future.

WhereForArtThouBray · 02/06/2019 21:09

If it was just for the 3 weeks and then more time off then I think ut would be doable. Babies that age tend to sleep a lot anyway and I don't recall ever forgetting my own name or being exhausted etc etc so all babies are different.

If you can so the work in an evening/weekend when you have dp around as an extra pair of hands it should be OK.

slipperywhensparticus · 02/06/2019 21:10

Yes you could but BUT I had an infection after my first so yes I bounced back great then hit the wall and couldn't do anything st all except shiver and poop and try to take care of the baby it wasnt the best time do you have plan B? Could you start the project early?

SoyDora · 02/06/2019 21:10

As others have said, it completely depends.
DC’s 1 and 2... not a chance. Neither of them slept longer than 40 mins at a time, day or night, for months. Were constantly attached to my breast. My brain was mush.
DC 3 (currently 5 months), yes I probably could have managed it (but wouldn’t have wanted to).
You have no idea what birth you’ll have, what your recovery will be like or what baby you’ll get.

AliTheMinx · 02/06/2019 21:10

I don't think I could have done it, as the first month or so were so much harder than I'd ever anticipated, but I did have a traumatic birth, was riddled with infection and had a baby with colic. Good luck, OP x

MsMarvellous · 02/06/2019 21:10

I would have struggled. But I know woman who went back to work and popped in and out of the office with baby in a sling. Popped in to get work and see the team then did most of it at home on a laptop with baby next to her. This was from 2 weeks post birth.

She had an excellent cleaner and paid for housekeeping help so she almost literally only had baby and work to deal with.

Original poster

RoguePudding · 02/06/2019 21:10

Hanging out on MN is not intellectually challenging!

I said physically the same ;-)

I have no family nearby, no, although my mum is flying in to help us out during the first two weeks.

OP posts:

skankingpiglet · 02/06/2019 21:11

Have you factored in what would happen if you go overdue? 3-4 weeks is already very optimistic IMO, but really it could be as little as 1-2 weeks if you go to 42wks.

lululatetotheparty · 02/06/2019 21:12

What would happen if you took the assignment and then couldn't do it after all? Could someone else step in (and could you find someone to do it) or do you risk the relationship with the client? What will happen if you don't take the assignment? Will they perhaps not ask you in the future? Can your partner step in if necessary? Is there anyone else who can help with the baby if you need it?

I think you need to consider that there is no way you can actually predict whether this could work or not. Having had three, I could have done this after 1 (and in fact did) but not number 2 (baby's temperament, reflux etc.) and certainly not 3 (very ill with PND). Good luck!

BIWI · 02/06/2019 21:12

I would think this is only possible if:

you have a nanny

you're prepared to spread your 16 hours across the 24 hours of caring for your DC

and

you have had a straightforward birth, with a child that doesn't suffer from colic

and

feeding is easy and straightforward

My ex-business partner was self-employed and went back to work with her second DC pretty much immediately. Even though she had a nanny, it was a nightmare and she was exhausted.

I'd really, really not advise that you think you can do this.

kidsmakesomuchwashing · 02/06/2019 21:12

I wrote my masters dissertation 2-6 weeks after my second child was born. It was fine for me, but I'm used to working a million tasks at once.

Original poster

RoguePudding · 02/06/2019 21:13

Have you factored in what would happen if you go overdue? 3-4 weeks is already very optimistic IMO, but really it could be as little as 1-2 weeks if you go to 42wks.

As I said: 3 weeks would be the worst case scenario. The assignment starts five weeks after my due date.

OP posts:

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