To think I can return to work 3-4 weeks after giving birth?

[RoguePudding]

As in title, really. I'm pregnant with my first, self-employed, and if I pass on this assignment because of the baby, I may be without income for much longer than we could afford. What is probably important to know:

• my job is intellectually challenging, but involves no physical labour whatsoever
• I can work from home
• It would be for about 16 hours a week
• 3 weeks would be the worst case scenario. The assignment starts five weeks after my due date
• my husband works fulltime

Is this feasible? Anyone else return to (parttime) work or perhaps studies very quickly?

In a way, if it were more mindless it’s be easier. I don’t think I had it that hard, but basically until 12 weeks I had baby on me. Seriously. I was 7 weeks post birth before I could shower with dh home.

I hope your birth is like a sneeze, but mine went v wrong and between that and milk fever etc, etc I would have broken if ppl were expecting work too.

Are you proposing working w baby present? How flexible is it? If you get a baby that sleeps might be ok. Can you do 2 8 hour days at weekend when dh is home?

*without

At the end of the day, you've got to do what you've got to do and you'll find a way to make it work if you have to. If your partner works full time, could he take your maternity pay and be off as main carer while you're home to feed if bf?

I did a job interview when ds was three weeks old. It went well.
It is impossible to answer your question, though, because it depends on your labour, recovery and your baby.

Its do'able. Most babies spend the first couple of weeks sleeping most of the day.

Obviously it's hard to tell as it depends on what kind of birth you have and how chilled your baby is. 16 hours a week I think is achievable though. It will be a hard month for you though!

Good luck x

Impossible to predict. Are you going to breastfeed? as that is a big factor. I would have struggled. Other people would have been fine. A friend has given birth last year and was doubly incontinent and in severe pain for months afterwards, and it would have been impossible for her. You just don't know.

I could have done this with my sleepy 3rd child as I felt very healthy and got plenty of night sleep. But couldn't have done it with my 1st and definitely not with my second as I was a sweaty, swollen, milk dribbling, sore, exhausted mess, wiyh lots of post birth health problems, unable to put the new born down for more than 2 minutes day and night.
Hard to plan.

After my first no, after my second easily. You don’t know what the birth will be like. Genuine good luck though

I don't think anyone can really tell you. It sounds like it may be possible, certainly more possible than many other jobs but so much depends on factors outside of your control.

My 1st was 2 weeks late, 3 days in hospital, home for 5 days, readmitted for 5 days, home but every 3 hours I was expressing 30 mins, feeding 30 mins, winding 15 mins, changing 5 mins then everything else had to be done in the other 90 mins before we started the 3 hr cycle again, i.e feeding me, washing, sleeping, seeing people etc etc. It was awful and I never wish to do that ever again, it very nearly broke me.

However no.2 was an absolute doddle who just popped out and fed straight away perfectly and fitted in with our lives.

I could easily have worked a few hours with baby 2 at weeks old but baby 1, I felt like I'd been hit by a bus for months and couldn't even answer simple questions like what's the time or what would you like to drink, let alone work!

If you were in the US, you might have very little choice but to go back to work when your baby is that young.

I have one friend (in the UK) who went back part time when her baby was 2 weeks old. Her DH took leave and/or worked from home until the baby could start nursery at 12 weeks.

It is possible, and doable, if you are sufficiently determined, have an easy delivery and a laid-back baby.

Assuming childcare availability and no huge complications it should absolutely be possible.

I’ve had colleagues return full time within a week, one even the same day (though they were fairly impressive individuals).

The problem that you have with DC at home when you are working is constant distractions. My job needs a lot of concentration and is fiddly (computer based not physical)
I am fine if I am home alone but when DC are home I find myself constantly being distracted, even just by their noise and the need to keep getting up and doing things

I know I am basing it on mine being older but I would have found it the same. Take away needing to do constant laundry/bottle washing if you don’t BF with a baby and what you find is you don’t get clear runs of concentration time - something you could do in a couple of hours takes so much longer because you keep having to stop and lose focus. Taking phone calls are also a complete pain

1st child - felt like being hit by a bus, 3 weeks (even 6 weeks) after the birth I was barely going out. Struggling to feed, settle baby, like a zombie. Baby breast fed every 4 hours for 1hr 15 mins. Had to follow a routine from a lady who must not be named on mumsnet just to function. PND kicked in and life was hard for a good while.

2nd baby - I was out and about the following day and was working after 3 weeks (a little) much easier baby all round. Didn't cry as much, more chilled baby. Much much quicker feeder.

With hindsight 1st baby was very hard work, and that combined with being a first time mother floored me. Even with tonnes of help from my retired parents I struggled.

Had my second baby been first, yes I could do it. Not with first though!

I started a full time job 2 weeks after a caesarean. Was also breastfeeding and expressing. It was an absolute need to do as no maternity pay. It was exhausting but doable. This son now 22, first class honours, speaks fluent Mandarin, teaches in China, perfectly balanced etc. Point is no harm done. I survived too!

If it's 16 hours per week that you can do at any time, you might be able to do this with some help. I would buy it some help at least for the first month of work and buy in more than you need. So if you think you can work 2 hours per day, arrange 4 hours of child care cover in case they arrive and you are feeding or you are working and baby is still sleeping and you can carry on.

Look for a mothers help or perhaps a doula or maybe even a nanny but that might not be the right kind of help.

My DD wouldn't have let me put her down for 16 hours a week for the first 2 months or so.

But Op is talking about working with the baby not just working after having a baby. The baby will be at home

I think you will need to over factor your time OP is what I was getting at. What takes you 16 hours now will not be 16 hours in real time after the baby

OP, now you’ve updated and explained the assignment is 5 months long, I think you’re unwise to think you can do the whole thing without childcare.
The first few weeks while the baby isn’t mobile, will probably sleep quite a few hours out of 24 and given you have a flexible enough role to be basically typing while the baby sleeps or feeds - that sounds relatively easy. Specially as you’ll only be working 16 hours so I assume you can carve up into just 3 and a bit hours per day?

But you’ll have a 6 month old baby by the end of the assignment. That’s a whole different ball game. They’re likely to be awake a load more, will need more interaction, will possibly be crawling...
You’re being naive to think you can look after a baby while working at this stage.
I thought you meant a short assignment. 5 months is very different

Can you do the 16 hours at any point during the week or can you vary them depending on circumstances, eg, if your mum can sit with the baby on a Monday between 10 and 2 can you choose to do some of the work then and do some more at 6 when do gets home. Or will the type of work require you to be available when you potentially don’t have any childcare?

It’s quite naive to think you will get anything productive done when you are also caring for a newborn, but if you have childcare plans in place (even informal ones if that’s suits the type of work) I can’t see any reason you can’t work.

In many places women go back to work very early and if financially you need to work to put food on the table, then you will make it work. And I know it’s only 16 hours a week, but if you can outsource anything else (a cleaner/ironer/one of those companies who brings you proper dinners to heat up) it would be worth it to take a bit of pressure off you. And make sure your do is completely on board as you will need him to step up and be helping around the house and with the baby too.

Yes, you absolutely can. I will be hard, but you absolutely can.

Can you get your mum to fly over later instead of first 2 weeks, when i presume your partner will be home anyway? Surely to be able to work you'll need someone else to watch baby so yoi can focus?

I could've done it, i breastfed but it was every 3-4 hours and only took 10mins to feed, and so although i was awake in the night, it wasn't for more than 15mins at a time. My dd also pretty much justbslept for the first fee weeks between feeds, but as others have said, every baby is different, and everyone parents differently

I guess women all over the world return to work weeks after giving birth. Would your DP help In the evenings?

I had dd at 34 weeks, so 2 weeks after my due date I’d have been fine! However 2 weeks after her birth we were both still in hospital 🤷🏻‍♀️ I guess it depends how everything goes. Can you do the work in the evening when DH is home?

If you are proposing to work 16 hours a week from the age of 1 month to 6 months with no childcare sorry i don't think that's feasible. Maybe for the first few weeks but after two months babies are awake more and need more attention. Yoi won't be able to work 16 hours per week unless you have someone else looking after them.