BIL taken £30k withdrew money as mum was dying

[Apolloboy]

MIL admitted to hospital palliative care & died. My alcoholic BIL withdrew via bank transfer to his account £30k from her account just before she passed. He says that she agreed this! Whilst she WAS coherent I don’t believe that...I don’t believe she would favour him... he was caught stealing £18k from her before via bank transfers & at her request we helped her change her accounts... she was very generous to her 3 dgc ( two of his & one ours). Her will reads half each to both sons.
She & I had many conversations regarding how she wanted her grandchildren to use her inheritance on property ladder/university fees.
He says it’s his word against ours & nothing we can do as she was ALIVE at the time he took it. Callous & causing added pain... trying hard to organise celebration of her life but his behaviour is causing chaos.
What can we do legally?

Havent read the full thread, sorry.

Perhaps his teens need to know the truth about their dad and that the authorities take his behaviour very seriously; that there are consequences to his behaviour. It may be uncomfortable for the teens but at the same time liberating and 'safe' for them.

They're living with him - at least in their lives - which will be hell for them. Addiction is the most vile disease, nothing is off limits - including his teenage kids.

This is a Police issue first and an issue for the executor to deal with second.

Would the police really do anything about this given that they wont even attend burglaries in some areas? Assuming will.is equal split between dh and his brother then he is down £15 000. If both are executors things could get tricky but your sh should get on with probate asap to make sure it's fair. Hopefully when his brother is more sound of mind say I think you should take 15 000 less from the house sale.

I assume the withdrawals were electronic, and therefore can be proven.

Make a list of everything removed from the home. That should be taken off his share of the estate as well.

I would probably file a police report and determine if that’s enough to have him removed as an executor.

The “good” news is that now with his parents gone, there will be no one to steal from, and at some point, that will be painful.

Ensure he cannot get into your home.

He is shameless. I would go to the police but I see you don't want to. Certainly you need to get legal advice.

If the 'gifts' were made less than 7 years before death, the vast bulk of them are taxable. Does he want the tax people crawling all ovewr his bank statements?

You need to advise the bank pronto she has died. Its quite likely he has full control of her accounts and he won't be stepping up to tell them.

So advise the banks and request an up to date statement. bet you find more has been transferred since. That is what happened to my Hubby.

I would go to the police in this instance, unless he is prepared to visit a solicitor with you and sign a statement confirming that he took £30k from her account, that this was a loan, and that he will repay her estate this amount.

If you just leave it as it is now, the money will be lost.

Despicable man, hope the money stolen from his dying mother makes him happy, people can be so heartless xx

Make sure he cannot access the account any further and report to the bank. Also advise the executors of the will, however it could be if he has all the bank details, PIN numbers etc he can claim she was aware of the transactions.

Sadly relations tend to get very grabby in the event of serious illness/death, seen it many times

I would call the police op but understand why you may not want to hopefully the lawyer can advise

You need to report this, it's not about protecting your nephews, this could be the kick up the arse your BIL needs and a stint in prison with adequate support might get him clean.

You are enabling his drinking and bad behaviour by refusing to acknowledge this as the serious crime it is.

Oh and BIL obviously didn't give a shit about the impact it would have on his family so you shouldn't take the responsibility of that especially as his sons helped strip your MIL's house of valuables.

Leaving them with an alcoholic father who has no consequences for his actions isn't better for the sons. They may well be longing for someone to do something about him.
I'm so sorry this has happened.

I am sorry for yours and your husband's loss This situation is making an already bad time worse and I understand your reluctance to go to the police in the circumstances.
As to the £30K, if I were your husband and co-executor of his mother's will, I would make it clear as soon as possible to the solicitor dealing with the estate that he knows his brother withdrew the money from their mother's account shortly before her death and as far as he is concerned, this was to be counted as an advance on his brother's inheritance, not a special separate gift, thereby making it clear that the same sum should be deducted from the brother's share of the estate.
I hope the funeral goes as well as possible in the circumstances.

If calling the police seems too whistle blowing then can I suggest you call the bank. They will help you. They will also probably call the police.

The bank can do nothing as the money was taken before the lady died. There is no proof she did not take it out herself. Obviously she couldn't have done it/told her son to do it if she were already dead, but this is not the case here.

I suppose it might be viewed in the same way someone who's been scammed might. If it's likely that she allowed her pin/online passwords to be known by a third party, I should think they'd just say tough luck and it might then be up to you to involve the police yourselves.
But it sounds as though you're reluctant to do that, and I can see why, but £30K is a lot of money.

I think this is elder abuse, made worse by the fact your MIL was dying. Your BIL cannot just help himself to £30K from her bank account. I really would go to the police.

The police won’t be remotely interested. As a pp pointed out, they don’t even come out for burglaries these days. Nor will the bank as the correct passwords and MiL’s phone were used. The only thing to do is reduce his share of the estate by £15k.

Why £15k? He’s had £30k

The police won’t be remotely interested. As a pp pointed out, they don’t even come out for burglaries these days. Nor will the bank as the correct passwords and MiL’s phone were used. The only thing to do is reduce his share of the estate by £15k.

This is bad advice. It may be that you need proof later that he stole it and you can't get it if you don't act on it.

He’s had £30k, half of that’s his. And it’s not bad advice, it’s reality. As long as he doesn’t get to keep money that doesn’t belong to him, no proof of the theft is necessary.

Except, AlsoHuman, that the £30K he pinched will not now be part of the estate, so I'm sure reducing his share of the estate by only £15k is not fair to OP's husband, but being thick, I can't actually do the calculation!

Estate of £100k minus £30k = £70k = £35k each
Estate of £100k = £50k each

Difference is £15k

HTH

Alsohuman

Not true, though I won't lie, it was an endlessly horrific battle when my parents went through the same.

My gran was systematically robbed by my aunt in the years leading up to her death (she had severe dementia). The police, and the bank did get involved, were interested... But the end result was indeed nothing. Which isn't the same as saying that they weren't interested, and this is hopefully a much more straightforward case.