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Original poster

BIL taken £30k withdrew money as mum was dying

174 replies

Apolloboy · 02/06/2019 18:38

MIL admitted to hospital palliative care & died. My alcoholic BIL withdrew via bank transfer to his account £30k from her account just before she passed. He says that she agreed this! Whilst she WAS coherent I don’t believe that...I don’t believe she would favour him... he was caught stealing £18k from her before via bank transfers & at her request we helped her change her accounts... she was very generous to her 3 dgc ( two of his & one ours). Her will reads half each to both sons.
She & I had many conversations regarding how she wanted her grandchildren to use her inheritance on property ladder/university fees.
He says it’s his word against ours & nothing we can do as she was ALIVE at the time he took it. Callous & causing added pain... trying hard to organise celebration of her life but his behaviour is causing chaos.
What can we do legally?

OP posts:
Original poster
Apolloboy · 02/06/2019 19:54

Thank you all for the advice to take the £30k out of his share... his kids will realise they get less because of his actions but hopefully we can find a way to have what’s left bypass him & go directly to them.
thank you for helping us maybe see a way forward.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 02/06/2019 19:56

If the money was withdrawn after your MIL died, the bank will take action. As soon as they get a copy of the death certificate they will take action, as this is theft. Anyone who had access to her cards and bank details will be under suspicion. Including your DH.
The bank bereavement dept need to be told of this now. You cannot avoid this I'm afraid. What he has done is stolen money from the beneficiaries of her estate. He may well end up being arrested for this I'm afraid.

crosstalk · 02/06/2019 19:59

Move this to legal OP
It's not clear from your last post - is the solicitor your ma appointed unstable and incoherent? In which case you need to go to another solicitor.
So he removed £38K by accessing her account and using her phone to okay it? That should be proveable since in the last instance she was too ill to use her phone?

He's cacanny for a drunk. I'm glad his sons and their ma are on side.

Soontobe60 · 02/06/2019 19:59

I've just read your last post. You cannot change the terms of her will at all. He has stolen the money from his own children. Not reporting this means that you're all complicit in this theft. At any point in the future, the children could raise this matter.

Alsohuman · 02/06/2019 20:00

Nothing was withdrawn after MiL died, the bank statement showing the withdrawal arrived two days after she died.

Original poster
Apolloboy · 02/06/2019 20:02

@FiddlesticksAkimbo great advice if he was coherent & accommodating... unreasonable/ has no personal care/has no soul... he laughed saying prove it. We are at the lowest point you can imagine with him.
Funeral should be interesting he wants to give a speech about his departed parents... that I can handle he’s getting enabled that day

OP posts:
Original poster
Apolloboy · 02/06/2019 20:04

@crosstalk... sorry you just made me laugh out loud... NO the brother is incoherent & unstable most of the time... so will be easy to demonstrate his unsuitability as executor

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 02/06/2019 20:06

Problem is as he's done it by knowing her details he could just say she did the transfer. How do you prove it was him?

If the bank cards were at home, and BIL had his mother's phone, then how would mother do the transaction herself?

BelleSausage · 02/06/2019 20:07

OP- did the transfer happen after she died?

In which case you’ve got no choice. The bank will treat it as fraud. The account should be locked until probate is over

Listlover · 02/06/2019 20:11

Yes for a drunk he’s certainly had his wits about him doing this.
By doing it just before she died means it’s his word against hers it was a gift and she can’t dispute it.
I would tell him you are giving the chance to pay it back or else you will be going to the police and see what he says. What does your dh say about it?
It’s disgusting but not as uncommon as you think.

Canone · 02/06/2019 20:22

I don’t think the withdrawal was 2 days after death, it’s just that the statement received 2 days after death showed the recent withdrawal to BIL’s account. Right, OP?

I know no one wants the upset but seriously, you need to contact the police. Do not let him get away with this. What a lowlife.

Reallybadidea · 02/06/2019 20:25

Presumably the police could prove from mobile phone records where it was when the transfer was made? If your MIL was in hospital at the time and records shows that the phone wasn't, then it should be fairly straightforward to prove that she didn't make the transfer.

Popuppippa · 02/06/2019 20:32

This is a matter for the police. It would be very easy for them to find out how the transaction was facilitated, which device and when and therefore demonstrate it was not your poor MIL on her deathbed. It's theft.

I would think that any solicitor handling the probate would need to see all bank statements and investment details. At that point this transaction would be flagged up as highly suspicious and a solicitor would probably want to know the exact circumstances.

SunniDay · 02/06/2019 20:38

I think the details of who pushed the buttons on the computer (mother or brother in law) might not be as vital as you think. It is reasonable to assume in this circumstance on her deathbed his mother wouldn’t have said “I must transfer you 30k to your bank” and if she did the correct response would be “no mum - don’t worry about that - get some rest”. She is unlikely to have capacity to make big decisions at that point.

Xmas2020 · 02/06/2019 20:42

Go to the Police, unless he can prove she consented to this. What a despicable pos he is.

TitianaTitsling · 02/06/2019 20:58

Even if it was done via her phone, would be not need to have known her banking password? Or used her finger print to access the app to do the transfer?

BabyDueDecember2019 · 02/06/2019 21:30

Thanks Sorry for your loss

Jamiefraserskilt · 02/06/2019 22:08

I'd be changing the locks too before he moves his sorry ass in and lifts anything that can be sold.

PonderingPanda · 02/06/2019 22:56

OP - what do you think you'll do?

Gth1234 · 02/06/2019 23:10

I expect this sort of thing happens in a lot of estates. Easy money is a great temptation, with or without a LPA.

Manclife1 · 02/06/2019 23:12

Report it to the police. It’s straight up fraud based on what you’ve said. I’d also report it to the bank and try to get the money returned.

Purpleneonpinkunicorns · 02/06/2019 23:30

Report to the police, as the dirty thieving scumbag needs repercussions for his actions, and letting him just get on with it and not been investigated will not only show the kids that you can steal and they'll be no repercussions and they can do it time and time again,

I also think if you don't report this you and your dh could be brought into this and also have the blame as if your bil can go to these lengths of his own mother hell screw ANYBODY over.

Gth1234 · 03/06/2019 00:10

In my opinion, I would think twice before reporting it to the police, and get legal advice first. If you report it, the bank might freeze your MIL's assets, and it might cost you a fortune to get it unfrozen again.,

Easier sorted informally, as long as the MIL died without a well, or left everything to her children - hopefully the there isn't a will leaving the lot to a charity, say.

RubberTreePlant · 03/06/2019 00:38

Police.

CarolinaChina · 03/06/2019 01:04

Call the police, it’s theft.

^

This.