BIL taken £30k withdrew money as mum was dying

[Apolloboy]

MIL admitted to hospital palliative care & died. My alcoholic BIL withdrew via bank transfer to his account £30k from her account just before she passed. He says that she agreed this! Whilst she WAS coherent I don’t believe that...I don’t believe she would favour him... he was caught stealing £18k from her before via bank transfers & at her request we helped her change her accounts... she was very generous to her 3 dgc ( two of his & one ours). Her will reads half each to both sons.
She & I had many conversations regarding how she wanted her grandchildren to use her inheritance on property ladder/university fees.
He says it’s his word against ours & nothing we can do as she was ALIVE at the time he took it. Callous & causing added pain... trying hard to organise celebration of her life but his behaviour is causing chaos.
What can we do legally?

He's banking on you not calling the police, do it.

You can use the fact she was in hospital to prove that she couldn’t have made the transfer herself. Please do report it, to the Police and the solicitor handling probate.

I should just tell him the 30k needs to be added into the estate for probate purposes - and taxed accordingly. If not already gifted one gift of 3k and another from the year previous can be deducted and is not subject to tax.
www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/gifts-and-exemptions-from-inheritance-tax

The 2 brothers should then take an equal share of everything including this amount after any expenses. I would suggest he returns this money or at least agree it become part of the estate. Otherwise you will have to take legal action on this.

Sorry for your loss.
What a nasty piece , you need to speak to police and take legal advice on all.

I think I'd honor MILs wishes and not call the police. If she didn't want to involve police last time why would she this time? It's your husbands family. It should be his decision. Calling the police won't get him any services.

I'd call them. The relationship is irreparably broken now. Why should he get away with this shit.

Was the money transferred by your ‘mum’ as in the account was accessed by her log in details rather than via a request from brother.

Hang on 2 days AFTER death? That is a legal matter

Not sure if police will actually do anything but reporting would be in your favour. You need legal advice ASAP. I think solicitors need to be involved in sorting out other aspects anyway.

Well I if no-one wants to the call the police there is nothing you can do. You are all just enabling him by allowing him to steal what is actually your money now but that's up to you.

@happyhammy YES thank you ..will speak to solicitor tomorrow... try to remove him as executor. He is Unstable & incoherent.
All items value removed from house now. His boys helping & involved such a credit to their mom.
Registered bereavement with bank... hold on the accounts now but little left anyway

The bank statement is proof that it is part of the estate so I shouldn’t worry.

If you're not going involve the police and get it all officially documented then you have to accept that you to are enabling an alcoholic and come to terms with the fact that the money is gone and your side of the family miss out.

If you feel bitter that your child is not getting the money and opportunities that it can bring then you need to do something about it.

If you don't, can you honestly see your relationship with him continuing knowing he has stolen from his DM and so your child by default?

Did he have a power of attorney to enable him to make the withdrawal? If not it’s theft.

I was about to say get straight on to the police. Power of attorney or not no legitimate reason to take 30k while mother is on her deathbed ....but then you said your husband has also been drawing out her money after she has died!

What a toxic problem. The accounts need securing and no-one must touch them at all unless proper process probate/executor etc. The executor will have to try to unpick the mess. Just because someone might be entitled to a share of the estate doesn’t mean they can help themselves before the estate is settled (before mother is even cold to be frank!) The executor might find debt p/equity release for example and that there is no money to share.

If this isn’t reported to the police you too are enabling him, you said his family want change to happen, well this is it.

Jakers you will be completing a legal document in the very near future, so you are prepared to LIE to HMRC, wish you luck with that one. This is the first step.

www.gov.uk/self-assessment-tax-returns/returns-for-someone-who-has-died

I think the fact it's two days after death is really important. It counts as part of her estate, and must be distributed according to her will.

I’m very sorry for your loss. I can understand why you don’t want to add conflict to your grieving process.

However, if you don’t take action now, it will probably be harder to redress this in the future. I know this is the last thing you want to deal with right now, but in ,say, 6 months time, if your family is £30k worse off, how will you feel?

And isn’t the likelihood that, unchecked, this behaviour will get worse?

Having power of attorney is the right to manage money in the persons best interest - it is not a right to help yourself to their money!

If someone has concerns about a power of attorney being abused they should speak to the social worker/alert the court of protection/or police (while the person is alive).

The power of attorney would end on death when probate/executor takes over.

Problem is as he's done it by knowing her details he could just say she did the transfer. How do you prove it was him?

I would suggest telling the brother-in-law that there are two ways in which the transaction could be interpreted.

a) His mother wanted to give him part of his inheritance in advance, perhaps to help his cash flow. This is really his face-saving option. If he wants to plump for this interpretation then he needs to understand that the £30k advance will be accounted for in the final division of the estate: his share will be commensurately smaller. And be needs to agree now in writing that this was his mother's intention.

b) His mother in her dying hours decided simply to give him an addict a gift of £30k with no witnesses or paperwork and without notifying anyone else that this is what she had done. Tell him that if he wants to follow this version of events that your husband, either in his capacity as executor or as beneficiary, does not find it credible, and you will ask the police to investigate.

I don't think it's safe just to unilaterally adopt the first interpretation without his written agreement, and personally I would not like to see such an act of greed, dishonesty and breach of trust go unpunished if he insists on the second!

And I doubt you'll be able to get him removed as an executor. Otherwise people would do this for nefarious reasons.

Sorry I thought you meant your husband made a withdrawal 2 days after death - do you still mean the brother? If so definitely police.

@manclife1 yes
@cryalot2 thank you...trying so hard to remember her & not letting this situation take over... detest him more for this than the theft & Im trying to remember how serene & caring she was when he stole last time.
@Fairenuff his teenage children could be damaged more by police involvement & their connection to us is more important it’s not about enabling him personally I want to cut his fingers off... I’m not serene or half as caring & my teenage boy knows NOW that I would not behave the same as grandma if he thought to do this.