Last minute drop outs? CF’s? - Wedding

[Spiceupyourlife]

(I am not a ‘bridezilla’. I have been pretty chilled out to this point!)

However....

Dp is a quiet softie (huge heart).
He has a really good group of old uni friends and we travelled all over the UK to their weddings.

When DP sent out our invites we got a couple of declines. Sad- but ‘it’s not a summons’ and people have lives - totally understood.

But the rest RSVP’s yes. Awesome.

We now get married in 5 days and over the last couple of weeks 4 more of his ‘friends’ have dropped out! The most recent today and I’ve already sent the seating chart to the printers 🤔. We’ve heard some wonderful excuses but nothing critical or unforeseen.

What’s worse is it’s a reasonably small wedding so their absence definitely will be felt.

I’m so sad for DP but also it’s just shit wedding etiquette. You don’t have to come, but if you RSVP yes...

AIBU to think that you’re a CF to RSVP yes and then ‘drop out’ so close to the big day?!?!

Can’t understand getting dressed in your finest to be served hog roast.

Fine for a work event but it’s not appropriate wedding fare imo

It's dried up pork in a cheap bap. People always go on about serving them with fabulous salads, I'd suggest finding something else nice to go with the salads.
Hig roast, bacon roll, sausage bap, fine about midnight as an alcohol soaker but not as an evening repast.

Justasking11

But mouse, it is not about them or how they look. It is a celebration of love.

I couldn't agree more! I was just musing and offering it up as a possible reason, based on my own experience.

I never missed a wedding or party because my sense of duty/moral obligation to attend overrode all else. I was just one of the crowd not the main event!

I nearly missed one wedding when I was a former boyfriend's 'plus one'. Long journey with severe delay on the motorway and no mobile phone in those days. Then got lost in the countryside. We had to stop in a field entrance to change from jeans into our posh gear. We thought the lane would be quiet, but no. Plenty of passing traffic whilst I frantically wrestled to get my tights on and pulled up without falling over or putting my foot down in the mud, of which there was plenty.

I had four people drop out of my wedding - all from the same table! They didn’t know each other.

If I were to do it again I think I would assume the flaky people to cancel and if they did come then ask the caterer the day before to give them enough notice for extra meals. Our caterer was actually really good and gave us room service credit as the meal was at the hotel.

A sit down meal for a flaky person is a lot of money!

What's up with a sausage bap 😁

I don't understand either, I quite like a hog roast
When I arrived at a wedding with a hog roast, I'd a stupid moment and thought it was a display hog on a spit.
DP thought this was hilarious when I realised it was dinner.
Mind you he said it was delicious, I didn't eat it.

I had to pull out of attending an event recently as the hotel we were staying in cancelled our reservation due to overbooking and there was nowhere else to stay under £300/night. I was really upset but the organiser understood. It does depend on their reasons.

We had people just not turn up in the day. One texted at the reception he decided not to come as he thought it might rain! We were inside!

I had lots of people cancel at our wedding - one said she’d come (knowing she’d have to book flights etc, we have them 6 months notice) and then told us 2 weeks before that she didn’t have enough money, although clearly she’d never booked anything. A friend of my DH specifically asked for a day invite for him and his whole family then never turned up. We don’t speak to them now. The amount of people who were no shows equates to about £2k. The venue agreed not to cook their food but give us £2k worth of booze instead 😀
It’s so rude. Fair enough if you have a very good reason but otherwise I can’t understand how they think it’s acceptable. We did invite a couple of other people to take their places (friends of friends) and they were happy to!
Don’t let them get to you Op, it is what it is. You will have a wonderful day anyway. Congrats!