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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to give BM the pasting she deserves

295 replies

volcano28 · 01/06/2019 07:58

Long story short -Steps sons mother has always been a total nightmare . All the usual stuff a lot of ppl experience. Her family are all enablers -she does what she likes when she likes with no thought for anyone else or the consequences and no one ever (inc my husband) call her out on it. Which I think makes people worse as they come to believe their behaviour is acceptable. What's really ticked me off is SS has done nothing al half term even though she doesn't work , has plenty of money and a car, he was supposed to be going to a theme park yesterday with some friends and their family near where we live -before coming here for the weekend -but she didn't wake him up in time so he missed it -so to try and spite my husband ss has missed out 😯 this is because we live 3 hours away so he has to drive to pick him up and drop him back for contact where as he could have been 20mins away! . I don't care about Dh having to drive I care about the fact she's put wanting to make Dh life harder (which it doesn't he's more than happy to drive any distance) before ss having a great day out . And I want to contact her and tell her how I feel -I've always had to 'rise above it ' for 14yrs ! But on the other hand she'd love it as getting a reaction 😣 maybe I just needed a bit of a rant get it off my chest

OP posts:
hsegfiugseskufh · 01/06/2019 16:27

Op just comes across as wanting everyone to bash the mum

Or maybe just someone who is fed up of being in a shitty situation and thought this was a suitable place to vent, which it should be. But unfortunately the bitter ex wife club are out in force to tell any step mum what a horrible twat she must be and how useless her husband is.

hsegfiugseskufh · 01/06/2019 16:28

No i am not op Hmm but ive been in a similar situatuon.

Ravingstarfish · 01/06/2019 16:30

plantpot what’s so terrible about not doing much over half term and expecting a 14 year old to have mastered setting the alarm?

hsegfiugseskufh · 01/06/2019 16:31

Nothing - selling a childs items they've been gifted is wrong though. And its shitty she didnt get him up for a day out. I personally would have.

Original poster
volcano28 · 01/06/2019 16:31

@Snapandyourgone his opinion was taken into consideration at all ages -are you some sort of legal expert or just someone that thinks they know it all? You don't know the details of this situation and quite frankly after the things you've said I'm not interested in your opinion. Anyone that know the family courts will know that they do their best to keep children with their mother , for example have mother and child live with grandparents etc
I don't mind hearing people's educated opinions - but posting abuse towards me online says more about previous posters than it does me

OP posts:
Ravingstarfish · 01/06/2019 16:32

So at a year old he said ‘actually I’d rather live with my mum’
I’ve been through court as a child and as an adult and the child’s thoughts aren’t considered until they’re around 12

Snapandyourgone · 01/06/2019 16:33

PlantPotParrot similar but not this exact situation.

So you have no more understand than what's in the thread. Why project your own situation?

I am not a bitter ex wife thanks. Nice insult there to people who dont agree with you.

Are you in the bitter second wife club? Cant stand another women was before you?

Please note, I don't believe that, but just wondering if the insult is ok the other way round.

Snapandyourgone · 01/06/2019 16:34

Yes I do have some knowledge as the family courts.

Fwiw I dont think your husband didnt do enough

I just think she isnt as bad as you say and you just want people to pile on her to make yourself feel better.

Original poster
volcano28 · 01/06/2019 16:35

@Ravingstarfish oh do accept my apologies I forgot I have to be absolutely fucking specific in answer -I was answering the ages 4-6&8 from a previous post

OP posts:
Original poster
volcano28 · 01/06/2019 16:36

@Ravingstarfish cafcass have considered his opinion the whole time he's had one

OP posts:
LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 01/06/2019 16:37

I didn’t say your day was ruined. Only that it had gone badly. Which I stand by. It does seem to have done.

I was trying to support you - point out the terminology you used was wrong and might explain the general reactions, but say that otherwise it seemed as though you were entitled to be upset. I am at a bit of a loss as to why you singled me out to argue with.

hsegfiugseskufh · 01/06/2019 16:37

snap i never said you were an ex wife?

And obviously being in a similar situation, understanding court, mediation etc and game playing exs and how its hard to deal with that - i think ive got a damn site more understanding than someone who has only come here to have a go at someone.

I couldn't give a shit that another woman was before me. If i was bothered i wouldnt be in a relationship with a man with kids. I wish we could be civil with his ex, ive always tried to be. So has dp.

Lets face it when relationships break down things get nasty and some people deal with it better than others. Im sure there's plenty of shittty ex husbands but they dont seeem to post on step parenting threads just for a good old kicking of an op.

Original poster
volcano28 · 01/06/2019 16:39

@Snapandyourgone I havent asked anyone to pile on her , I've stated what's happened and that it's pissed me off , how I would love to tell her what I think -but won't
If you look at what people have said to me you'll see I've been piled on and called a cunt , all before 9am this morning 👍
I don't need validation from the internet if my husbands done enough or not , I've been here living it

OP posts:
Snapandyourgone · 01/06/2019 16:40

You said the bitter ex wife club was out. So maybe not me but anyone who isnt pandering to OP and you.

Actually, I am very close to my step mother (though technically not step mother anymore due to divorce). I di t bash step mothers.

I will give my opinion. and again. A similar situation is not this situation.

So your understanding isnt relevant either. If everyone else isnt.

Original poster
volcano28 · 01/06/2019 16:42

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood I haven't singled you out I was answering what you said -my day hasn't gone badly . This thread has just reminded me how awful women can be to one another. I wouldn't dream of calling anyone a cunt or evil and I haven't said anything to deserve such spite from strangers

OP posts:
Snapandyourgone · 01/06/2019 16:42

Someone called you a cunt. does it matter if it was before 9am, would it have been much easier to take after lunch or after 6pm.

I have called you cunt. Nor have I taken that into consideration when posting. I dont agree with someone calling you a cunt. But what exactly isnt it to do with me?

hsegfiugseskufh · 01/06/2019 16:45

Pandering to? Are you always so condescing and rude?

No but ops had abuse thrown at her left right and centre. Is being called a cunt acceptable to you? Did op deserve that? Did she deserve to be told to fuck off? Told that her husband hasnt done enough and its clear the mums not that bad based on literally 0 evidence?

You getting on with your step mum frankly means fuck all - when youve had to deal with someone like the ex in this thread come back and have another go because im sure your opinion would be different.

LillithsFamiliar · 01/06/2019 16:47

selling a childs items they've been gifted is wrong
I agree that selling them is wrong but the mum has made it clear she doesn't want her DS to have a phone yet his dad keeps undermining that. There can be lots of valid reasons for limiting a teens access to mobiles.

Snapandyourgone · 01/06/2019 16:48

PlantPotParrot so who did you call the bitter ex wifes club?

What the actual fuck has someone else calling the OP a cunt got to do with me?

Why cabt I have an opinion, based on what's written because someone called her a cunt.

Why does that mean I agree with it or have to change my opinion?

My point about my step mother was made clear I dont bash people simply because they are step mothers.

But you clearly side with someone who is a step mother, because that's your position.

And again, it's not up to you to police who can and cant be on this thread?

You opinion counts for nothing because your are projecting your problems into it.

Original poster
volcano28 · 01/06/2019 16:48

You are done with this thread, because you know she isnt that bad or know you husband didnt do enough for his son.

That's not true , this thread has turned into an bashing free for all

@Snapandyourgone haven't you got anything better to do than get smart mouthed with me ? It obviously doesn't matter what time of day I was called a cunt does it

OP posts:
hsegfiugseskufh · 01/06/2019 16:49

snap what problems?

Snapandyourgone · 01/06/2019 16:49

OP you are the one that keeps saying 'I called a cunt before 9am'

So obviously the time does matter. Why would you keep pointing it out, if not?

Original poster
volcano28 · 01/06/2019 16:50

@LillithsFamiliar she won't always answer when he calls to speak to his son , the last phone we got him was a basic 9.99 phone with no internet which she broke

OP posts:
Original poster
volcano28 · 01/06/2019 16:50

@Snapandyourgone I'm just not used to being called a cunt

OP posts:
Original poster
volcano28 · 01/06/2019 16:52

@Snapandyourgone and if you see the time of my original post you'll see that I was called a cunt within an hour / before 9am

'Never argue with an idiot as they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience '

OP posts:
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