Using a unisex toilet for the first time.

[unisexloo]

We took DD to sea life and when we went to the toilet to my surprise there was 1 and it was unisex!! Poor DH walked round the corner looking for the mens 😂

Thought I would share dh & I experience! Very strange doing a wee next door to DH, and the other lady in there looked VERY uncomfortable! DH got in & out as quick as possible and hated being in there with another woman said he would rather pee himself than go in there alone without me...

Obviously I cant comment very much as there was no other men in there but the thought of being along with a man in the toilets REALLY freaked me out for some reason, not to mention the cubicle I walked into had the seat UP, toilet paper on the floor as well as what I can only assume was P*SS 🤢 had to tell DD NOT to touch the walls as it smelled of urine also...

Anybody else had any experiences yet in a unisex loo? Safe to say I complained on my way out, I can deal with unisex toilets if I HAVE to when DH is around what I cant deal with is standing in a mans urine and having to wipe it of the seat ! Barf.....

the cubicle wasn't even floor to ceiling !
I didn't think this was allowed? Athough I've also experienced such, and those still with urinals in.

I have no problem with a totally enclosed cubicle that includes the sink etc. Anything else is not on, or safe imho. I appreciate that women can be 'dangerous' and that not all men are (obviously), but the vast majority of violence is commited by men. I don't particularly want to give them more spaces they can do this.

After a quick google I'm guessing the women's but it's not become mixed sex has it? Just open to trans women who technically identify as women don't they? I couldn't see anything about it opening up to men
What do you think transwomen are? Ducks?

Ok well the trans argument is well beyond my realms of understanding and/ or giving a shit.
I commented originally because I don't believe that men should be viewed as a threat by women and treating every man as though he has the power to harm us, perpetuates the cycle of women being seen as the weaker, more vulnerable sex. I do not believe this to be true.

@Jaxhog erm no. Ducks aren't this complicated

wishy

Whether or not you chose to believe it diesnt make it any less true

2/3s of girls report sexual harassmentat school or on the way to school.

Girls as young as 6 have been raped or sexually assaulted In schools.

Girls have been made to share classrooms with their rapists.

This doesn't go away because you put your fingers in your ears and refuse to listen.

Wishy my dp was similar thinking to you. He once said he didn't fancy a blokes chances against me and I could give as good as I get - this is true in a sense. He also said what threat would he be possibly be to a woman.

He's 6ft 6 and 15 stone. I'm 5ft and weigh 8.5 stone. I asked him if i didnt know him,, what possible threat would I pose to him in a unisex toilet? Would he be genuinely intimidated by my presence in the toilets? What do you think he said? (Or did rather.......clue.....it began with L and ended in H and had AUGH in the middle)

When I asked him if he thought i might feel threatened, uncomfortable, intimidated by a man of his appearance in the toilets, whether warranted or not, what do you think he said? Clue - it had "yea I'm a wanker" in there somewhere :)

@SarahTancredi I haven't said it doesn't happen. I've said that if we keep learning to act like victims, we'll keep being victims. If we act vulnerable, we become vulnerable.
As I said, I was sexually assaulted by a man when I was 16. It was a man in a position of trust and at the time I allowed it to happen because I thought I had to. So no, I'm not ignorant to the fact it happens. What I learnt to do though was defend myself, to not hide, to call people out on their shitty behaviour and exactly where to kick them if absolutely necessary.
I refuse to live my life afraid to walk the streets alone at night just because men exist and some of them are shits.
Unisex toilets don't create rapists and anything that women have to put up with while using them, men have to put up with also. They're replacing men's and women's toilets, not just women's and despite your view that every man is going to use it as an opportunity to flash/ steal bloody sanitary towels/ film us I'm of the view that I'm capable of giving as good as I get back. Your statistics won't change that view

I've mentioned this before in the feminism threads, but it feels appropriate to reproduce here.

About 15 years ago I was grabbed from behind by a man in a unisex toilet at my local gay bar. Thankfully, this wasn't a sexual assault (he shoved a bottle of poppers to my nose, for reasons that I can only assume we're to disorientate and embarrass, perhaps more...) but it was extremely frightening. I was a very fit, strong woman and able to struggle and get away. I went to report this to staff, who it turns out we're looking for him after he had targeted another girl earlier.

This man was clearly a weirdo and was dealt with swiftly by the excellent staff. But he was not previously known to the bar, he wasn't a regular and from what I could gather no one in the community knew him. It was clear that this person had chosen what was at the time, the only bar in the entire city that had unisex toilets. Something like 90% of assaults that happen in UK public toilets and changing facilities, take place in mixed sex facilities.

Women and men deserve privacy and the right to police their own spaces.

Male, female, disabled and an optional neutral facility is fine by me, but those dismissing the dangers of inadequate unisex toilets need to remember that their pleasant experience does not dilute what myself and many other women have gone through when it goes wrong.

I do all those things too

I'm regularly alone in a shop full of men.

I walk home late at night etc

That doesn't mean I have to accept and not make a fuss about long fought for sex segregated spaces being taken away to appease MRAs.

"If we act vulnerable, we become vulnerable."

I don't act vulnerable, I AM vulnerable, against a man who will be much stronger than me.

Imagine if someone said to you "maybe wishy, you wouldn't have been assaulted if only you ACTED like the dogs bollocks and well ard".

How long was the fight for separate loos? And why don’t I remember it? Historically, sea bathing was segregated 200 years ago, not much feminist fighting involved there.

What I don't understand about these arguments is why everyone assumes that women are OK with not having privacy and dignity around other women?
I don't want anyone to hear me shit, quite frankly, and would much rather all toilets became fully enclosed cubicles for anyone to use.

Someone mentioned maternity wards - sharing a ward with strangers, men or women, is bloody weird after giving birth and dealing with a newborn.

Have used unisex toilets in London and Brighton, both in the dingiest rock venues imaginable. I had no issue whatsoever, and didn’t feel unsafe.

"If we act vulnerable, we become vulnerable."

Yes, all those stupid women who have got themselves beaten up or raped. If only they’d had the sense to just not act vulnerable, then the poor men wouldn’t be getting blamed.

The queues will be horrendous if this carries on. Waiting for everyone to wash their hands.

I would be extremely uncomfortable in a mixed sex toilet.

In my experience decent men wouldn't want to be in one, they would understand why a lot of women might feel uncomfortable.

I'm in the unfortunate position of needing carers in the AM and PM. I have female and male carers.

The male carers I have understand that when they come around there are certain tasks they can't do and different things need to happen (they call agead if they are on shift so a female neighbour/relative can be present when they arrive)

They are decent men so they understand that although I don't believe all males are a threat, that I have experienced sexual assault at the hands if a carer, and so now take precautions. They don't get offended.

Only one man had an issue with this. He repeatedly refused to call ahead, and tried to insist on carrying out personal care that i had already i formed he he couldn't stating that I was sexually discriminating against him. Apparently he identified as female. But had a beard.

I notified the manager and refused to have him visit again.

In my opinion there is only one type of man who would try to push themselves into womens bathrooms. And it is not the good kind. I am very vulnerable in bathrooms, and I would hope that even women who have not experienced problems, or trans men, would respect that.

The big question has to be....WHY are they doing this. The majority of people don't want it. They need to stop lumping men and women together as if we're all the same, because we aren't. There's all sorts of problems unisex toilets can cause. To women, the toilets are far more than just s place to do our bodily functions. It's s place to do our hair, makeup etc, sometimes have a natter with a friend, (if in a pub or restaurant.) It's our haven....Why the hell do we want men gawping at us.

Most men wouldn't want it either. But basically it's doing away with women's rights imo, it's so fucking wrong on every level, I get so wound up thinking about it, because it's only going to get worse.

I went to southend adventure island and my hubby went into the gents (urinal) and their was a young girl/lady mopping the floor - the attendant in the ladies was a young man...that just didn’t make sense!
They was/are not unisex they are male and female toilets!

That sounds awful. They had unisex loos at work but they were self contained cubicals with sink and sani bin in each. All accessible bathrooms. I've seen similar in a couple of restaurants, they were fine. This sounds grim.

I genuinely don’t understand the obsession with sinks not being outside the cubicle. How is washing your hands so intimate you wouldn’t want to do it in front of a man? Or put your lipstick on? It’s bonkers.

No it's bonkers to put everyone together. For too many reasons to mention.

I work in a university so most of our toilets are gender neutral - loads of cubicles with sinks in each booth for everyone. I love them. Before this, I had to queue in the Ladies with loads of students while there were no queues at the men’s. Also there are plenty of restaurants that do this - Bills, Jamie’s, Iberica etc. I genuinely don’t understand what the issue is?

EustaciaPieface have you read the rest of the thread? I fail to see how you can 'genuinely' not understand what the issue some people have with mixed bathrooms is.

I can understand you agreeing with people's issues, or denying they happen..sure. But not understanding what any of them areat all???

Yes even if some people don't have a problem with it, surely they must understand that lots will. People will have very genuine concerns. Surely they can see there's an agenda at play, mainly against women. I can't understand why any woman would be happy with that.

bluewavysea because they havd been socialised to be nice and put the needs of others before their own.