Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using a unisex toilet for the first time.

176 replies

unisexloo · 30/05/2019 22:16

We took DD to sea life and when we went to the toilet to my surprise there was 1 and it was unisex!! Poor DH walked round the corner looking for the mens 😂

Thought I would share dh & I experience! Very strange doing a wee next door to DH, and the other lady in there looked VERY uncomfortable! DH got in & out as quick as possible and hated being in there with another woman said he would rather pee himself than go in there alone without me...

Obviously I cant comment very much as there was no other men in there but the thought of being along with a man in the toilets REALLY freaked me out for some reason, not to mention the cubicle I walked into had the seat UP, toilet paper on the floor as well as what I can only assume was P*SS 🤢 had to tell DD NOT to touch the walls as it smelled of urine also...

Anybody else had any experiences yet in a unisex loo? Safe to say I complained on my way out, I can deal with unisex toilets if I HAVE to when DH is around what I cant deal with is standing in a mans urine and having to wipe it of the seat ! Barf.....

OP posts:
SarahTancredi · 30/05/2019 23:11

Sssshhh turbo you are talking about stuff that never happens remember Hmm

caringdenise009 · 30/05/2019 23:11

We have two lockable, floor to ceiling enclosed with basin and dryer toilets at work. One for men, one for women but with no signs on the door because the permanent staff know what's what. Every so often when we have had a visitor we women know that a man has used the ladies. First the seat is up. No big deal. But leaving piss all over the rim and splashed on the floor? Surely they can see it and take two seconds to clean up after themselves. It is so dirty and disgusting.

Next time I see the offenders I am going to explain, and let them know exactly why I know they have been in the ladies. I will try not to call them filthy dirty stinkers but I can't promise.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 30/05/2019 23:13

You must have had a very sheltered life if you have never used a unisex toilet in your life

Individual locked room with wash basin...absolutely

Scenario the OP described and I clarified in my post....nope

twitterbird · 30/05/2019 23:18

I've done some work at the home office and the floor I was on was mixed gender toilets I was horrified. If we have to go down this road it should be men, women, disabled and then a gender neutral toilet.

TurboTeddy · 30/05/2019 23:31

SarahAndQuack
*How can you never have used unisex toilets before? Did you not even have them at primary school? You've never been to a small cafe or pub that has them.

However I think - in the nicest possible way - that if you are this keen to share 'DH & I experience,' then perhaps you need to get out more. It's a loo, not the ascent of Everest.*

Sorry if I misunderstood your tone, it sounded dismissive and condescending.

BackforGood · 30/05/2019 23:37

I have never ever been in a unisex toilet that consists of multiple cubicles and a wash area

I have. All at Universities (in newish buildings, or newly refurbished).

SarahAndQuack · 30/05/2019 23:38

No, you didn't misunderstand my tone.

Frankly, I think the OP is deliberately putting on a tone of faux-outrage.

I don't really believe she and her DH think it's hilarious he looked for the mens, then discussed whether or not he'd piss himself another time. I don't think she is really utterly bemused why 'for some reason' she felt 'freaked out'. And I really, really don't think she is being honest when she claims she can just about cope with this horrific experience with her DH to hold her hand, but otherwise it would be unimaginable.

I do believe many women don't want to use unisex toilets. I am perfectly well aware of the incidence of sexual assault and violence in public toilets. I think it is a serious concern.

If I were a suspicious-minded person, I'd think this thread was written by someone trying to undermine that serious concern by turning it into a childish little pantomime.

Hotterthanahotthing · 30/05/2019 23:44

I don't mind the idea of unisex and would love floor to ceiling cubicle with a sink ,I do not like the reality of paddling in wee in previously women's toilets where there is a gap above and below the doors.

Happyspud · 30/05/2019 23:46

I was in a toilet recently and it was only after I walked out I realised the person I made brief eye contact with at the sinks was a man. It was a big row of unisex cubicles in a large toilet room. Didn’t seem weird in the slightest. I didn’t even clock it at the time.

Happyspud · 30/05/2019 23:47

I’ve seen a LOT of pee on seats in women’s toilets!!! Every time. How are you guys all missing it? Fucking women insist on hovering and leave dribbles.

RottnestFerry · 30/05/2019 23:48

Is there a designated toilet for each sex in your house?l

There is in our house. Gents downstairs and ladies upstairs.

runninguphills · 30/05/2019 23:57

I wouldn't be happy weeing in an unisex cubicle with gappy doors...

Wall to ceiling cubicles with a lock - not an issue.

YouBumder · 31/05/2019 00:03

Are there urinals in unisex toilets?

PositiveVibez · 31/05/2019 00:21

If we have to go down this road it should be men, women, disabled and then a gender neutral toilet

Exactly right!

Laurajjj · 31/05/2019 00:32

It's a toilet. You sit on it do your business and leave. The person in the next cubicle male or female is doing just the same as you. I honestly can't get too anxious or offended by it really.

Pringlefan · 31/05/2019 00:52

Surely you are being tongue-in-cheek, op?

Unisex toilets at my place of work. I go in, and there are both men and women at the sinks, drying hands etc. Just like in any other room I ever go into.
Then I went into a cubicle, where the door locked and nobody could see me pee. Just like every other toilet I go to.

Thoroughly unremarkable experience.

Would you prefer sharia law where a man and a woman can’t even be in a room together and must be separate at all costs? Jesus.

ArgyMargy · 31/05/2019 06:58

It's a toilet. You sit on it do your business and leave. The person in the next cubicle male or female is doing just the same as you. I honestly can't get too anxious or offended by it really.

This.

stucknoue · 31/05/2019 07:16

The problem it seems from here is that some people have appalling hygiene - if everyone cleaned up any spillages then the toilets would be clean. We have unisex at work (mostly women so men's toilets were rarely used) and it's fine but then the men and clean and house trained. In the sealife centre it's actually probably a smart move as men with daughters and women with sons don't have toilet problems - especially as there's multiple sets in the facility were some segregated?

UnicornBrexit · 31/05/2019 07:24

You cant just send your DC to the toilet on there own anymore if this happens everywhere 😔

Why? Do you think all the ladies will be looking at a penis and commenting or something ?

PottyPotterer · 31/05/2019 07:36

think that is the biggest problem now isn't it? You cant just send your DC to the toilet on there own anymore if this happens everywhere 😔

Quite the opposite. As a single parent of a young boy I've had no choice but to send my son into the mens toilets alone. I welcome unisex toilets. I've had to spend the last 2/3 years standing outside the men's crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. If you as a grown woman are scared to be alone with strange men how do you think 7/8 year old children feel? Yet we expect little boys to use toilets and changing rooms completely alone all the time. Unisex toilets in public mean children will no longer have to take these risks regardless of their sex or that of the adult they're with.

Conks · 31/05/2019 07:55

Every unisex toilet I’ve been in, has been spotless. I prefer them as it’s easier to deal with my 11 year old son who has ASD. I wouldn’t send him in to a men’s toilet alone. Never has an issue

wishywashy6 · 31/05/2019 08:23

I'm that girl who uses the mens if the queue for the women's is too long so don't see the big deal with unisex toilets
Been in plenty of women's toilets that are pretty grim also so I don't think it's necessarily gender specific. Yeah it's a bit barf but needs must. I grew up on a farm and I own a 6 year old boy - both equally as filthy so I don't think much can gross me out.
Can't get my head round the whole being uncomfortable peeing next to/ being in a cubicle near a man..... they're just humans with an outie rather than an innie 🤷🏼‍♀️

Damntheman · 31/05/2019 08:32

Nearly all the public toilets out here are unisex. I will admit that the first few times I used them felt uncomfortable and strange - but that's because it was new to me and I suspect that's why most people here feel odd about it.

The more you use them, the more comfortable it is. It's fine and it solves a LOT of problems. In my opinion the walls and door should both be floor to ceiling, not having that is very uncommon here so I'm not familiar with that issue. But a sign on the door saying 'women only' is not going to deter a predator anyway.

Keep on using them, you'll feel more comfortable the more you do it and hell if it doesn't make it easier when you've got small children of the opposite gender to escort to the toilet :)

Linning · 31/05/2019 08:40

I find it incredible that you have never been to a unisex toilet before and that you think this is a massive deal, I know there's been some massive talk about it on mumsnet recently with lots of horrified posters at the idea but I am pretty young (if I say so myself) and have been to plenty of unisex toilets and it's barely been an "experience"worth remembering, it's exactly the same as gender/sex-segregated bathrooms except better (to me) because the queue goes quicker and it's usually cleaner (seriously women's bathrooms are often horrific and no, I don't feel better about period blood smeared across the seats from an unknown lady than men would feel about it). I have been victim of sexual assault btw and anyone who knows me wouldn't describe me as extremely "man-friendly/trusting" but unisex bathrooms aren't something I worry about. I understand others might feel differently and fully respect that, but I do not believe that the little woman's drawing on the door would ever actually stop a rapist from raping a woman in a bathroom if he so wanted to and personally actually feel safer in a mixed environment where I feel (threatening) men would be less likely to act.

I can actually think of plenty of occasions where I low-key "fantasized" about being able to go the men's when the queue to the women's felt never ending.

I personally say yes to unisex bathroom though I get they aren't for everyone, I just wish they were offered as an addition to the current segregated ones as I would pick them over the women's everytime as I am sure I would be able to reduce my queuing time by about half an hour!

Glitterblue · 31/05/2019 08:48

I had my first unisex toilets experience the other day. I didn't realise when I first walked in, the main door said toilets and had the usual male and female pic. Went through that and there was a row of cubicles to the left, no sign of any other door or cubicles then I came face to face with a man as I went along the doors and immediately panicked thinking I'd gone into the wrong toilets!! But then I saw that half of the doors had a man sign and half had a woman sign. It didn't bother me once I'd worked that out, the cubicles all had locking doors. But it was still strange when I was back in there yesterday and there was a man washing his hands when I came out. I didn't feel unsafe in any way, I just think it'll take a bit of getting used to, seeing men in there!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.