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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What the hell with colleague

287 replies

SalemShadow · 30/05/2019 21:56

We have a colleague who is always instigating work socialising and organising nights out. Prob is she never wants to pay for anything. She never ever buys a drink. She always asks me and my colleagues to get the bogof drinks and she will get the next ones but she never does. She has blagged lunches off colleagues by forgetting her purse app and never paying back. We went out yest and my colleague said she would get the first drink but she needed to get the next ones. She never did. It was awkward as she just sat there with empty glasses. A couple of times she has been on lunch and said she needed a sandwich but forgotten her purse. We went in the sandwich shop once on her request and I'd already eaten a sandwich from home as trying to save money. She looked in her purse she only had some pound coins which she is collecting app. She then proceeded to ask me to pay for her sandwich as she can't spend her coins as collecting. She's asking me and a colleague to come on a few nights out with work in the next few months and trying to convince us to come for a break away. I don't know how to deal with her politely as she won't pay for anything! It's really starting to piss me off. Aibu?

OP posts:
AvaJane · 01/06/2019 17:39

As long as you allow her to continue, she will.

Next time perhaps suggest buying your own drinks. Do it in advance so she has no excuse. If you feel better you can always say your watching your spending to save for a new (insert item). Then tell her you only have enough money on you to cover your own drinks. :)

AvaJane · 01/06/2019 17:40

*You're

BlueJava · 01/06/2019 17:54

Definitely buy your own and don't give her a penny! If you're worried about a comment have a reason ready "Yeah we're economising - saving for a holiday/deposit/car needs fixing" whatever. Definitely do not be sucked into buying her lunch.She sounds shocking!

Purpl · 01/06/2019 17:59

Do a whip. Say let’s all put £10 and if she hasn’t got it say well I’ll do a whip with Sarah and u just get your own drinks. Or all be on a tight budget and say I’m only getting my drinks tonight and stick to it.
Do not go away with her it will get nasty and you will still have to work with her. She’s not a true mate so keep to work nights only.
Hate freeloaders x

SorryDidISayThatOutLoud · 01/06/2019 18:03

What a freeloading CF.

When she talks about a night out just say "Well lets just think about that - will it be another night where you scrounge off us all night and don't pay for anything?"

When you go for sandwiches at lunchtime just say as you leave the office "Now - do you have your purse with you because we don't want the usual excuse just so you sponge off us as you always do"

PM me her name and your workplace, I will sort her out with a nice phone call - hehehehe

TigerTooth · 01/06/2019 18:18

Prob stepping in rather late and have only read half of the thread but you could all put money in a whip for drinks? If she doesn’t put in, she doesn’t get.

CanuckBC · 01/06/2019 18:34

What a cheeky twat! I can’t believe she said she couldn’t spend the money she had on her as she is “collecting” her coins😳 Isn’t everyone technically collecting their money ie saving? I would have told her that I had actually brought in my own lunch to save money and had no money to loan her.

She needs to be called in her horrific tight behaviour by yourself and mutual colleagues ASAP. I am to late as your workday is over but today would have been the perfect day to talk to your colleagues. The CT wasn’t in so it would have been perfect to come up with a plan with the others for the next lunch or night out she doesn’t pay or asks for a sub. The more in on it the better. If everyone blanks her on wanting money or asks for their loaned money back it would put her in her place pretty quick.

Vivianebrookskoviak · 01/06/2019 18:39

You need to say something. The fact she bit your head off when you said something means she knows full well what she's doing and doesn't like the fact you just called her out on it even as a joke. I've been quite blunt with someone recently over something that needed to be said to them and I got my head bitten off too, normally the reaction by people who don't like the bare blunt truth thrown in their faces.
Just say something bluntly. I'm surprised no one else has.
She'll soon stop organising nights out when she knows she can't get away with it anymore.
I personally always avoid work nights out after a disastrous experience once as I said after that never again!

Fowles94 · 01/06/2019 18:41

I would just let her sit there thirsty and hungry. Wouldn't phase me at all.

redspider1 · 01/06/2019 18:47

"xx it's your round now"
This

redspider1 · 01/06/2019 18:47

Or you do a kitty. Everyone puts in £20 at the start and rounds are bought from that.

BlackPrism · 01/06/2019 18:52

If she says she'd forgotten her purse again remind her that you can pay with your phone because it's 2019. Or ask her to send you the money on her phone before you pay as you don't have enough.

Don't deal with her politely... she's 'collecting' pound coins so is asking you to pay? No... she's saving money and getting you to facilitate it you may as well just send her £50.

I would say I'd love to come out but can't as I can't afford to pay for her drinks all night. She knows what she's doing, it's on purpose and she thinks you're all idiots.

GabsAlot · 01/06/2019 18:57

Well shes clearly scamming you all when she said i went out last month and didnt have to pay for anything-she knows what shes doing

GabsAlot · 01/06/2019 18:58

And dont do rounds i dont even with my own family we just pay for ourselves

IrkedandAnnoyed · 01/06/2019 19:08

People like this need to go into room 101

sulzie · 01/06/2019 19:20

Wow! I had an alcoholic friend who used to have a bottle of cider on her round and when I paid, she'd stand for ages choosing a drink and it had to be something really expensive, like a cocktail. She is no longer a friend. Drop this sly scrounger from your friend circle immediately, no one needs a friend like that !

1moremum · 01/06/2019 19:26

She has been counting on you not wanting to appear bitchy in public and if you try it, she intimidates you buy being bitchy herself. fight bitch with bitch, this has gone on long enough. I can't see why anyone in your office even speaks to her anymore, much less goes out with her. traveling with her is right out.

Loreleigh · 01/06/2019 19:30

Far too polite and that is why this cheeky cow is taking the p*s. Just tell her no; if she gets shirty tell her to f*k off and pay for her own drinks, lunch or anything else she's trying to blag. Personally I would just say no to going anywhere with her in the first place, and tell her why - she is a first-class ponce who probably saves the money others have subsidised her for every day/night out. Call her out on it, shame her, and remember you are not working hard to support a lazy scrounger - maybe she'll remember to bring her purse and spend the coins in it instead of expecting someone else to fund her appetite - let her go without but do not put your hand in your pocket for anything else for her or she will never learn to pay her way in life.

mummmy2017 · 01/06/2019 19:39

You should ask her if she wants to go for coffee, as you get to the door of the cafe, tell her you forgot your purse, can she sub you....
Then if she does, you get a free drink, if she says no.. go oh well thought I would give it a try as it seems to work for you..

CircleofWillis · 01/06/2019 19:45

WiddlinDiddlin
We tend to go out seperately, one at home, one out - what we never do is both go out to different places.

This makes me think of those Swedish clocks where clockwork figures take turns appearing out of the doors. I went searching for an example and found this unintentionally terrifying video

I think the deep breathing, occasional grunts and ominous ticking paired with the choppy camera work have produced a masterpiece of dark suspense. I was almost disappointed that none of the figurines has their heads chopped off by the end.
strawberrisc · 01/06/2019 19:48

I'm still trying to take in the poster above who shares a bank card. I couldn't imagine going out without my own card.

LittleLongDog · 01/06/2019 19:49

@WiddlinDiddlinit would annoy me so much if you paypalled me the money you owed (not that you owe me anything Grin) because I have it set up so I have to go and approve/move they money. So you’d still be putting me out.

Maybe you should set up payment on your phone?

Stoic123 · 01/06/2019 20:08

With the ‘kitty crowd’ on this one. A few of us noticed one or two others never bought a round. After that it was “Are you in the kitty or buying your own tonight?” at the start. Every time. Agree in advance with one of your other colleagues to kick it off.
Infuriating.

dustarr73 · 01/06/2019 20:18

I wouldnt go with a kitty.Someone like the CF wont care.And will just target teh weakest one in the group anyway.

I just wouldnt bother going out with her at all.You all sound miserable.

rosinavera · 01/06/2019 20:20

@missminagrindlay

Good grief, are you as rude in your comments in real life or only on the internet??!! :-0