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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell this man to leave this woman after their cruise?

140 replies

IAmIronman · 30/05/2019 21:20

I'm on a week's cruise with my family. Every evening after dinner we've gone to play games in a certain area of the ship, its a quiet ish corner with a selection of board games etc. Next to this area is some seating overlooking the main atrium where there are various singers/musicians etc throughout the evening. Each evening I have seen a couple sitting in the same spot. The woman looks absolutely miserable, I have never once seen her crack a smile or utter more than a couple of words. She sits with her body angled away from her partner/husband. He tries at intervals to engage her in conversation, show her something on his phone, point something out to her. She either ignores him, gives him a withering look, or very occasionally gives him a one or two word answer.
WIBU to tell him there's more to life than this. He's trying so hard and she's giving him nothing back.
Yes, I probably have been observing them too closely, and yes I am a bit over invested in them, but I'm on a cruise, I have nothing better to do with my time.

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 30/05/2019 21:21

Maybe he did something awful?

IAmIronman · 30/05/2019 21:22

Hmmm maybe. I wonder what though.

OP posts:
annielouise · 30/05/2019 21:22

Maybe he had an affair and she's pissed off. Maybe she's just miserable. Who knows, no one but them. I'd stay out of it.

PurpleFlower1983 · 30/05/2019 21:22

Maybe she is struggling to forgive him for something.

IAmIronman · 30/05/2019 21:22

Aw I feel sorry for her now.

OP posts:
ItsSetInStone · 30/05/2019 21:24

Maybe she's getting paid and isn't his dw at all?

MissMary0fSweden · 30/05/2019 21:24

Board games and watching the same people every night. Sounds like a riot.

Seriously, he could be a right twat. We have no idea what goes on within four walls.

nothingtowearever · 30/05/2019 21:25

Deff stay out of it. You've got no idea what's going on in their lives. She might of just got some awful news and is stuck on a boat and can't do anything. Maybe he had an affair on board. Literally anything could of happened. Don't get involved. Maybe talk to your family instead of being on your phone

IAmIronman · 30/05/2019 21:25

Ooh hadn't thought of that Stone
Ha ha Sweden we've done a few other thingsGrin

OP posts:
WeeDangerousSpike · 30/05/2019 21:28

I'm starting to recover from a very serious bout of depression. Your description could be me and DP a couple of months ago.

I was barely clinging on to my life by my fingernails. I'm glad DP supported me, tried to get me interested in things and do nice things with me. I'm glad he didn't leave me, although I wouldn't have blamed him if he did, it must have been very very hard.

I'll now also be eternally grateful that no random strangers have felt the need to tell him to ditch me based on nothing more than some casual observation and a complete inability to mind their own business.

TacoBeIIe · 30/05/2019 21:28

I clicked on this thread thinking you had actually interacted with the couple on a nightly basis, like a holiday friendship.

You cannot assume anything about this couple purely on watching them from a distance OP. Stay out of it and concentrate on enjoying your own holiday.

Namastbae · 30/05/2019 21:29

maybe talk to your family instead of being on your phone

Wow! Why such venom?!

Redwoodmaz · 30/05/2019 21:30

I have just returned from a week's cruise and this could have been me!!!! Totally pissed if with DH of 29 bloody years. I have told him I am fed up with playing Happy Families - when we are NOT!!! One evening I went to eat on my own - couldn't face the charades... I feel for HER and not him.

Hellywelly10 · 30/05/2019 21:30

Id stay out of it op.

AriaFitz · 30/05/2019 21:31

There was a thread (I think on MN but could’ve been another forum) where the husband had purposefully waited until the were on holiday to reveal his affair (before the OW did) so that his wife couldn’t just go to her mums or friends or whatever, he thought it would make her more likely to forgive him. Instead she was (obviously) furious about the affair AND the holiday being ruined and asking advice on what to do.

floraloctopus · 30/05/2019 21:32

Yes, I probably have been observing them too closely, and yes I am a bit over invested in them, but I'm on a cruise, I have nothing better to do with my time.

Keep out of it and find something to occupy yourself - there are loads of things to do on a cruise even on a quiet boat.

SignedUpJust4This · 30/05/2019 21:33

This could be me. I have a miserable face all the time. It's just my face.

category12 · 30/05/2019 21:34

Maybe he's really bloody irritating.

sar302 · 30/05/2019 21:34

Maybe he took the last king prawn from the buffet. I wouldn't be bloody speaking to my husband if he stole that opportunity from me...

shitpark · 30/05/2019 21:35

My abusive ex would behave like this. Do something awful to me in private, and in public behave like the attentive adoring spouse, while I would have appeared cold and aloof.

LateVictorian · 30/05/2019 21:35

MissMary0fSweden

Board games and watching the same people every night. Sounds like a riot

Hahaha

Allhailthesun · 30/05/2019 21:41

Honestly it’s sounds like his wife is miserable, rather than the husband . Tell her to move on, not him.He doesn’t want to.

I wouldn’t otright though...maybe she has dementia or some condition that makes her more inclined to be miserable. Cruises are great for chatting. Go over and suss them out.

Itssosunny · 30/05/2019 21:41

Better to stay out of it. She could be indeed a miserable cow but she could be having a bad time because of him or because she is unwell, or someone died or something else.

I will tell you something. My DH can upset me (he can be a twat) and then he would be asking me why I am such a "miserable cow" towards him because he is so nice Grin.

rosesandcashmere · 30/05/2019 21:41

If I was on a cruise I would look much like her.

LateVictorian · 30/05/2019 21:43

And no OP I wouldn't get involved or say anything.

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