To tell this man to leave this woman after their cruise?

[IAmIronman]

I'm on a week's cruise with my family. Every evening after dinner we've gone to play games in a certain area of the ship, its a quiet ish corner with a selection of board games etc. Next to this area is some seating overlooking the main atrium where there are various singers/musicians etc throughout the evening. Each evening I have seen a couple sitting in the same spot. The woman looks absolutely miserable, I have never once seen her crack a smile or utter more than a couple of words. She sits with her body angled away from her partner/husband. He tries at intervals to engage her in conversation, show her something on his phone, point something out to her. She either ignores him, gives him a withering look, or very occasionally gives him a one or two word answer.
WIBU to tell him there's more to life than this. He's trying so hard and she's giving him nothing back.
Yes, I probably have been observing them too closely, and yes I am a bit over invested in them, but I'm on a cruise, I have nothing better to do with my time.

I thought you were going to say you’d seen her having a snog with the first mate or something!

Definitely don’t get involved - you just don’t know enough about their lives, and who knows how much hurt you could cause.

Get closer and see what he's showing her on the phone. Maybe it's this thread!

They may be wondering why those boring people do nothing but play board games every night.
If you do stick your nose in I hope it gets bitten off, metaphorically speaking! Who made MNers the world's relationship police?

DH and I had a similar experience on our honeymoon. In the hotel resteraunt a couple sat at the next table to us eve rh night.
They said not a word. Every night for 7 nights.
Each day they went on excursions through Tuscany, wine tasting, art tours...u name it.
The ice between them was almost visible. She had quite the personality and he sat there looking like a lump of stone.
Before dinner she would have 2 large vodka martinis and just down them followed by a bottle of wine. He sipped water and started at the wall.
In the bar, she spent the night chatting to the bar staff drinking vodka martinis and never seemed pissed.
They made me wonder how people who have nothing to say to each other after a day in Florence could bother staying together.
Like u OP I was fascinated by them as they were so oblivious of each other. May as well have not been there.
We also met another couple celebrating 50 years anniversary and were so sweet and interested in each other. Even after all those years.

Funny old thing life

This isn't 'Love Boat'.

I really want to know what is going on. OP, I think you should befriend them then report back in a secret thread not viewable by any posters who said to mind your own business .

The OP is the reason I would never go on a cruise.

Is it these two?

Yes, of course you would be extremely unreasonable. You never know what people have going on in their lives. On a holiday a few years ago, I had a face like a slapped arse and no doubt people were looking at DH with pity, being stuck with such a sour git. Except that my beloved, wonderful, closest person in the world to me, Grandmother had just died. In the few days between her death and our being able to fly home, I'm sure I looked like an absolute misery. I was really just utterly heartbroken.

lolaflores, I can only assume that your post was intended to be ironic?

It looks like this marriage is already over. Maybe the cruise is a last ditch attempt to put things right. He may well leave after this, let's hope he is brave enough to end it and find happiness elsewhere, poor chap.

Can't believe the MN favourite dementia theory has slipped into this thread 🤣

She could be utterly miserable due to his previous behaviour and he is trying to placate her. You are seeing only what is publicly visible - and could end up being insulted and abused! My cousin stepped in once having seen a man repeatedly hitting a woman really hard in the street and shouting at her; cousin said mildly something to the effect of 'Come on, stop hitting her' and they both rounded on him - and the woman kicked him!

My mum's ex would be like this. The most charming, friendly attentive guy in public. And a fucking monster at home behind closed doors. It doesn't mean this guy is and it isn't the woman, but you simply don't know what's gone on between them.

Sounds like she's the one who's unhappy and he's either trying to make up for something bad or he's putting a face on in public. My ex used to do this with his family. Act all doting husband and father in front of them but he was actually a total cunt but I'd probably have come across like the horrible one because i was fucking miserable and just wanted out (and i hate that word more than anything)

Confirms everything I ever suspected about cruises and the people who go on them (yes including you, OP). SO glad OH not interested in them either.

She might be watching a couple who aren’t communicating and he keeps bothering her with fb cat videos.

@PositiveVibez I'm glad you manage to find dementia so fucking funny

Stroll over to them this evening and ask them if they are enjoying the cruise, if they'd like to join in the board games. Strike up a conversation and get a bit of info about them. We need you to narrow down the possibilities as to why she looks miserable. She could have miscalculated her cycle and be pissed of that they haven't spent the week in bed because Aunt Flo has joined them

Maybe it's their last ditch attempt to save their marriage. Her heart isn't in it because she had an affair with someone else and is pining for him.
Maybe he was the one who had an affair.
Maybe he is a right bore and she is sick to death of him showing her rubbish videos if ice road truckers.
Maybe she absolutely loathes the cruise and the "entertainment" on offer.
Maybe she's seriously ill and the cruise was supposed to be a last fling sort of thing but she's really suffering.
Who knows? But don't go up to him and say something for heaven's sake...
Keep us updated though

As some said it could be anything. But with the ex he would behave abusively , in private and then act the right charmer in public, and if anyone said spiders looks unhappy don't know what he said back but he'd use the concern as a stuck to beat me with, so and so said you were looking unhappy, why the f can't you look happy you miserable cow. He'd ask people who saw me out and about how I was looking. But you know looking unhappy is not surprising if you've been abused.
If anything befriend the woman, and give her a bit of friendly attention. I'll always remember the kind people who invited me in for a cup of tea, when we d arrived at a station and he abandoned me, after having verbally abused me àll the journey, I think my crime had been to ask him what sort of sandwich he wanted so I could get something to eat on the train while he went to get the tickets. Yes I was in tears and miserable. I could have been sitting there for hours until he came back, he had the tickets, and was not answering his phone.what a lovely day I was having on our holiday. I'm not sure I'd have appreciated them if instead they'd told him what a miserable cow I was

Some comments on this thread.

@spidersonmyceiling Unmumsnetty hugs to you.
That's awful.

Are you sure they're not Giles and Mary from Gogglebox?

Maybe she’s unwell - leave well alone! You didn’t seriously consider sticking your beak in did you?

Maybe he is refusing to allow her to divorce? Maybe he is the usual abuser at home but devoted husband in front of everyone else?

The joys of people watching. Of course you can't get involved, you can't possibly know the whole story.

We were out to lunch yesterday and a young couple were in my eye-line. They barely spoke to each other. But then he took a phone call and animatedly chatted away on the phone, wandered out of the restaurant on the phone and returned 30 minutes later. Meanwhile, she glumly stirred her gin and tonic with a straw. I fantasised about telling her to just go home without him.