To tell this man to leave this woman after their cruise?

[IAmIronman]

I'm on a week's cruise with my family. Every evening after dinner we've gone to play games in a certain area of the ship, its a quiet ish corner with a selection of board games etc. Next to this area is some seating overlooking the main atrium where there are various singers/musicians etc throughout the evening. Each evening I have seen a couple sitting in the same spot. The woman looks absolutely miserable, I have never once seen her crack a smile or utter more than a couple of words. She sits with her body angled away from her partner/husband. He tries at intervals to engage her in conversation, show her something on his phone, point something out to her. She either ignores him, gives him a withering look, or very occasionally gives him a one or two word answer.
WIBU to tell him there's more to life than this. He's trying so hard and she's giving him nothing back.
Yes, I probably have been observing them too closely, and yes I am a bit over invested in them, but I'm on a cruise, I have nothing better to do with my time.

Maybe she's recently bereaved and he's trying to help her through it.

My friend never smiled and everyone thought she was the most miserable cow ever- she had been struck down by Bell’s Palsy and couldn’t smile (thankfully she’s now gained her smile back but it took a long time)

I could come on and rant. You can't tell a man to leave his wife. How dare you. You have no idea what is going on in this women's life. Are you going to pick up the pieces of their divorce.
Oh and BTW. We can't all have perfect spouses.
How ever I'm not going as I highly doubt you're actually going to go over and say to someone 'leave your wife. Shes a miserable cow'. I mean theres heartless cunts, but That takes the piss

I was a miserable cow giving my (now ex)?husband withering looks when he was cheating on me, and I hadn’t quite got the strength up to end it 🤷‍♀️

I get why you'd feel this way but many years ago I knew a couple, we all thought she was miserable as sin, no fun, while he was jolly and sociable. After they both died, while sorting through her things, her son found lots of love letters to him from another woman. He had had multiple affairs and she suffered in silence.

People watching is great, because you can create your own narrative about people, and you never have to find out whether you're right or wrong. However, you have no idea what's going on in reality. My late dw had early onset dementia, and what you describe could easily have been us. You might also have seen her refusing to stand up or sit down next to me, pushing her food away untouched or suddenly bursting into tears.
We got a few dirty looks at times, and occasionally a kind word. If you had suggested to me that I should leave her, I would have been appalled.

The ice between them was almost visible. She had quite the personality and he sat there looking like a lump of stone. Before dinner she would have 2 large vodka martinis and just down them followed by a bottle of wine. He sipped water and started at the wall. In the bar, she spent the night chatting to the bar staff drinking vodka martinis and never seemed pissed. They made me wonder how people who have nothing to say to each other after a day in Florence could bother staying together.

Well that sounds like my XH and I except he was the heavy drinking life and soul of the party and people around us assumed I was the horrible boring harridan who was holding back Mr Charming McNice&Fun. Guess what though? He was a raging alcoholic who nearly destroyed the very essence of who I was by constantly promising me he'd cut down on his drinking and then gaslighting me until my whole perception of world used to literally shift around me. Who turned horrifically abusive as soon as the level of a problem he had with alcohol could no longer be denied.

I don't think the OP was seriously suggesting that she would go over to the couple and tell him to leave her! It was more of a thought.

Mind blowing that some people are interfering to the extreme! It has zero to do with you. I like people watching, but OP takes it to another stratosphere.

You're seriously considering saying something?
You don't know what's going on there, the last thing they need might be a stranger trying to poke their noses into their private business!
Stay well out of it!

Maybe just maybe she has other things going on (a sick elderly parent at home or worrying about work), it could be her DH/DP is perfectly innocent in all this!!

I went on holiday with my ex just after I’d found out he’d had an affair. I’d have been like this woman, looking utterly miserable to be with him.

As someone said up thread she could be in an abusive relationship and he’s in his “forgive me “stage. I’ve been there, got the teeshirt and everything where in public butter wouldn’t melt but behind closed doors he was a totally bastard to me

I went on holiday with my ex just after I’d found out he’d had an affair. I’d have been like this woman, looking utterly miserable to be with him

This was me too. Found out the night before , went along on the holiday for the sake of the children. They kept asking why I was so sad all the time , which made me feel even worse. So yeah.....never judge people by their behaviour, you've no idea of what they are going through. .

Leave them alone and consider your relationship. Must be having a great time watching others......

Birdie sorry you went through it too. I only went for DC as well.

OP you just don’t know what’s happening behind closed doors, you can’t judge a relationship on what you see from the outside.

bothering her with cat videos 😂😂
You should follow her to the loo and strike up a conversation with her. She might be longing for someone else to talk to.

A friend of my sisters was a model and never smiled because it gives you wrinkles apparently.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit thanks, much happier these days. Maybe one day I could go and thank those people, if they are still there

I love how most of the replies expect the DH to be a cunt, like its implausible shes just miserable

Exactly- it could actually be that she is miserable or difficult or that she had an affair and are on a last ditch holiday and he's trying hard, could be that she is the one acting or has acted badly or is abusive...

Either way don't say anything, it's nothing to do with you...

Can't believe the MN favourite dementia theory has slipped into this thread

I know it's fucking ridiculous! I see it on the most unrelated of threads. It's like a stock answer for everything from being rude in a car park to not having a bbq if it's raining.

I went on a cruise with my then husband two weeks after he had attacked me. I was so demoralised, and poleaxed I just went. I felt safer on the ship than I would have felt at home. I couldn't bear looking at him, let alone any conversation. He was very keen to appear 'normal'. I left him as soon as I could. We all judge others, it's only natural.

No way!!!! I don't even understand why you would feel it would be your place to tell a man to leave his partner!??

Last year I was misrable.. depressed!! Was in an awful mood any time I was around my partner. Anyone looking in would have noticed just how much effort he was putting into me every single moment of the day while I was not interested.
I had found out 3 years before, while I was pregnant with our 1st child he had cheated on me!!! ... We're deeply in love, have a 2nd child and planning a to get married. It took the days and days of crying, being misrable, being deeply upset and confused and feeling worthless while he tried every moment of every day to make it better for us to be where we are now!!!

You don't know their life... better yet, you don't know them!
It's nowhere near your place.. a complete stranger to tell a man to leave his partner.

She could have lost a baby, found out he cheated, had a loved one that passed.... anything!!!! And he is just trying to cheer her up and nothing is.

What kind of weirdo are you? Go back to your snakes and ladders!!

Absolutely not! Stay out of what isn’t your business. You have absolutely no idea what is going on - if anything. Who are you to sit and judge from afar and then approach these people and tell them what to do with their lives, based on your judgements, without knowing any facts??!

I mean, seriously!