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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To question whether it is us or our neighbours who are being unreasonable

373 replies

ThespianTendencies · 30/05/2019 13:25

DS - 12 is a keen musician. He likes to play piano. He also likes playing on his Xbox. Three times in recent weeks the neighbours have complained about noise. First time was about 945pm and ds was playing piano in the dining room (we are semi detached). The piano is on the wall that does not back onto their dining room wall. He was playing with gusto but I could barely hear him from the lounge so not unreasonably loud imho. The neighbour texted and asked if he could stop as he had to be up at 5am. I told ds to quieten down and he stopped playing and played his guitar instead. This happened again about 2 weeks later when ds was on piano - again it was not late; 10pm, within the reasonable time to be able to play music in your own home I would have thought. Then last night, neighbour texted to ask if ds was Ok as he could hear screaming from upstairs. I said I was sure he was OK as he was on his Xbox playing Fortnight and could I hear him laughing and chatting with his friends online. Again, this was 1030pm so not ludicrously late and I don't think we should be tiptoeing around after 10pm just because our neighbour has to be up at 5am. I did go to ds and told him to quieten down of course, which he did. I totally appreciate that we must be mindful of our neighbours, we have lived side by side for nearly 9 years. I made no comments or complaints when their young baby was crying through the night or when their two girls wake every morning during weekends and holidays alike at 630am. It is family life and having had two children myself, I understand it. I have made sure that ds has quietened down every time but I am not sure that they are being very fair. If it was past 11pm or early hours of the morning then fair enough, but this seems like we are being made to shut up! Your thoughts please.

OP posts:
AdaShelby · 30/05/2019 18:50

Must be a wind up surely Grin

Londongirl888 · 30/05/2019 18:56

You are being unreasonable and selfish Teach DS consideration for others.

cansu · 30/05/2019 18:58

Actually I would say after 9.30 is too late for playing a musical instrument if you are semi detached. I would also say that if he is playing noisy video games at 10.30 this is also inconsiderate.

CherryPavlova · 30/05/2019 18:59

I wouldn’t have allowed my 12 year old child to play piano, violin or anything else at 10pm or later. They have been in bed unless it was New Years Eve.

areukiddingme · 30/05/2019 19:00

10pm may not be late to you, but it is, you are been very unreasonable.

TheTrollFairy · 30/05/2019 19:01

Did the OP even come back?

I would be pissed off if you were neighbors

Trebla · 30/05/2019 19:03

That's late and I would be annoyed. 10 pm and ive been asleep half an hour already. Your attitude and noise would bother me too. if you want to live like that live detached. I actually cant believe you think its OK.

Loopytiles · 30/05/2019 19:04

YABU

churchthecat · 30/05/2019 19:05

I'm calling reverse.

But after 9pm is too late for playing musical instruments.

Anytime is too late for screaming in a semi detached house.

MRex · 30/05/2019 19:10

I think 9pm is a reasonable finish for the musical instruments. You could get DS a keyboard with headphones if he's determined to practice later. Are the windows open and that's why they can hear him more, maybe he needs to close them for these activities? 10.30 does seem like a late bedtime, but it's the holidays and I've not had a 12yo yet so I'm not qualified to comment.

pilates · 30/05/2019 19:10

YABU

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 30/05/2019 19:16

I’d hate to live next door to you! And I play saxophone, ds1 bass guitar and ds2 drums!! But we do it during the DAY time not the NIGHT time. Time to move OP and get yourself s nice detached with no neighbours........ for miles!!

Norugratsatall · 30/05/2019 19:17

Your poor neighbours.....

mintoreo · 30/05/2019 19:22

YABU I'd get annoyed very quickly if my neighbours were making loud noise after 10pm each night!

HoomanMoomin · 30/05/2019 19:28

YABU. My kid is 14 and he doesn’t make any noises after 9.

Hahaha88 · 30/05/2019 19:31

Ahhhh not thespian again 🙄

whyohwhyowhydididoit · 30/05/2019 19:33

We also had musical children. The rule was no playing instruments after 9.00pm unless it was something electric that could be played through headphones. 9.45 and 10.30 sound very late to me.

DinosaurDress · 30/05/2019 19:34

I genuinely thought this was a reverse, as who would be this pig ignorant. OP,apparently.

mamaofboyzz · 30/05/2019 19:38

9.30-10 is too late! I think any musical instruments or loud noises should stop at 8-8.30

positivity123 · 30/05/2019 19:50

I have a noisy neighbour and its awful. The thing is is that you can't even relax when the music isn't playing because you know it could start at any time.
I think you should say no music or shouting after 8pm and tell your neighbors the new house rules so they can relax in their own home.

bananasonfire · 30/05/2019 19:57

Where is the op?

Dottierichardson · 30/05/2019 20:00

YABVU piano noise is not just airborne, the floor it’s standing on vibrates, which not only amplifies the sound as it travels but sends it straight through to any structurally adjoining house…So not only will your neighbours hear it loud and clear, it may even be much noisier for them than it is on your end. I lived next door to a piano player at one point, even with my telly on at the highest volume it was impossible not to hear it loud and crystal clear, but we discussed it and agreed mutually acceptable times, one of their children later acquired a drum kit, both children practiced after school and never beyond 7. If it’s later it either keeps people awake or dominates so that they cannot listen to anything or unwind themselves. It’s incredibly selfish. I like to listen to very loud music with a heavy bass beat but I deal with that by using headphones…but if I ended up being your neighbour I’d ditch them. Your neighbours no doubt make compromises you are unaware of too. But if you keep pissing your neighbours off, they may decide to return the favour…As for comparing it with children crying that’s totally unreasonable, children cannot help crying…also your son will have been a toddler when they moved in, so they would already have had an earful from your side. That’s not to mention any other stuff such as thudding footballs and all the other sounds that children can produce…Also as other posters said stopping then playing guitar just comes across as taking the piss…if you go on like this you are heading for a massive falling out with your neighbours.

And as another poster said it’s not just the noise when it’s happening but never knowing when it’s going to happen, so that your neigbours can’t relax, they start to read or watch a movie then thud of piano through wall…your neighbours deserve space and leisure to have a life too!

kbPOW · 30/05/2019 20:04

OP is getting a couple of hours kip now while it's quiet because it's going to get rowdy later on.

FermatsTheorem · 30/05/2019 20:05

Ah - it's one of those posters. Drop a totally unreasonable OP, then don't come back.

I'm an amateur musician (quite good, with regular gigs). I have a self-imposed curfew of 9.00pm, so as not to drive the neighbours mad. Where I can I practice in a bit of the house where I can't be overheard (obviously can't move the piano, but violin/voice this is perfectly doable). I also have a neighbour who is an HCP and often has to be up at the crack of dawn, so I know he goes to bed really early and I certainly wouldn't dream of making a noise (or letting DS make a noise) after 10.00pm.

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