To have paid for my own

[TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole]

I know billsplitting threads are on here all the time, and I am maybe just looking for somewhere to vent rather than asking but:

Went out for dinner with a couple of friends who I go out with frequently and a friend of a friend who I vaguely know. Generally theres no issue with the bill, we tend to get round about the same thing and well..are friends so even if ones a bit more, who cares. But this guy, he ordered steak (no issue, I usually do) and 2 starters for himself (that he left most of) and nonestop cocktails while we drank..well like normal people. Then ordered a desert, didn't like it so ordered another, while still ordering and necking cocktails. It was like something from a TV show tbh, the constant shouting for stuff, the sheer amount ordered, he was also a bit of a twat to the waitress, basically seemed to think she was there to be his slave, even fucking asked her to wipe the table when he spilt a bit of drink instead of just doing it himself. Friend seemed quite embarassed to have brought him. And there was an atmosphere throughout the whole ordeal, as people kept pulling him up on speaking to staff like dirt and that.

Anyway, inevitable, bill somes and the guy says we should just split equally. I refused, as did the others as he had clearly taken the piss. He actually started arguing that this made us tight, who cares about an 'extra few quid' etc etc. I stood my ground and told him it was him who was tight because he basically, did not want to pay for the extravagent amount of food and drink he had ordered and how on earth were we tight because we did not want to basically sub him. He still said that it was us being tight. The whole scene was embarassing but I swear the difference was huge, but it was more the principle of it..we have enouh cash to pay for his too but why should we, especially when hes gone on the way he did and basically ruined the night. In the end, we all paid our own. Mine and mates was 20-25 quid each. His was near a hundred. And he didn't leave a tip either..took the change down to the penny!

He then said when leaving in a strop that if not splitting the bill, we should say before anything is ordered. WHY would that make a difference, if he was not only ordering as he thought we would pick up the tab? There is no reason at all that telling people you are not splitting would make any difference, unless they were being a twat on purpose surely?

Can anyone think of a reason why (besides taking the piss) anyone should have to say before anything is ordered that they are only paying for their own?

As I said, we usually just split it, but we don't take the piss out of each other the way this bloke was seemingly to. Anyway, he buggered off still in a strop that we were stingy and mean apparently, and we went on to have a decent night. I will totally avoid him from now on, not that I saw him much anyway, was just someone I kind of knew in passing but not a friend.

I think I know the answer to this really, but bill splitting threads are sometimes unpredictable. Were we being unreasonable to stand our ground and pay 20 quid, rather than literally double that it would be had we paid for his too? I know a lot will think 'its only 20 quid' but, it was principle too. Especially when he started saying it was us who were tight, when he was asking us to pay an extra 20 each because HE had been over indulgent..

Good for you! Not U at all, what an absolute AH! Well done on speaking up and not standing for his crap

I'm too old for people to take the mick. Have been the person that drives and is drinking soft drinks, eats little and doesn't eat desert to have learnt, that I don't split bill equally with CFs who also expect me to drive them home.

Hey argue and don't pay your fair share, and you ain't never getting another lift to/from nor getting a lift home that night bud. As I have babysitters to pay that i gotta get back to.... Good luck on your taxi fare 😂😂

I also can’t believe a PP suggested you should have covered his share of the tip - no bloody chance!

I don't really think thats too unreasonable, given how the waitress was treat. I mean, if we were all really skint then it would be harder to justify paying someone elses tip if it meant it would affect us. But we have an ok income and did cover it, as its not her fault he was a cunt and its..well the nice thing to do. I tend to be one of the 'do not tip unless service is excellent' (or you spent a shitload/there was loads of you) types, but, honestly, her not accidentally dropping his steak knife on head or something was exceptional enough!

I guess I can see why people think we shouldn't have to cover tip, and we didn't have to. And had already tipped a fair bit ourselves. But..it was us who brought the disastour of a bloke to the waitress who was just trying to do her job, were planning on spending a lot more over the night anyway too so..seemed a bit (dare I say) tight to not give her a bit extra under the circumstances!

And no, not from Manchester, there are two of them?!

I generally just split the bill but I am mindful if people owe wildly different amounts - for example if someone else just had a lemonade because they were driving and DH and I knocked back a couple of bottles of wine then I will mention that when the bill comes and say "shall we split the food and then pay for our own drinks?" Or similar so that someone else isn't subbing us. I would also request we do that if it was the other way around - I'm pregnant at the moment and when I go out for dinner people are usually polite enough to notice that they've had 3 cocktails each and I've just had a coke, but if they don't I'll just say "I wasn't drinking so do you guys wanna split the drinks between yourselves" or similar. I've never had anyone get into an argument over this sort of thing.

TL;DR - your not friend was being a massive wanker. No normal person would have expected you to split the bill

Good for you!!!

You were not at all unreasonable and good on you for sticking to your guns and not subsidising his greedy gobby arse. Not only is he a glutton trying to get others to pay for his excessive orders, but he is a foul-mouthed rude disrespectful bugger that should not be allowed out in public to upset other diners and the waiting staff. Sounds like the waitress should've got a huge tip rather than the nothing left by the selfish tosser - maybe the friend that invited him along should have a word when he has sobered up a bit and see if he can be shamed into going back to the restaurant with a tip and big fat apology - though I doubt it as these sort of people tend to come with a sense of entitlement to go with their greedy shameless selfishness. Sorry he ruined your night out and hope you never have to endure his company again. Don't feel bad, you did the right thing. & for you

I hate splitting the bill, I remember going to a small party once, back when I was in school, and we ordered a takeaway. I didn't order anything and my friend agreed to split something with another friend there as she didn't have enough money for a full order. Once the food arrived one lad there decided we should split the bill and asked me and my friend for money, he then got really offended when we said no because my friend didn't have the money and I didn't order anything, why the hell should pay for their food, when I got nothing. Nobody would talk to us for the rest of the night. I've never split a bill since, me and my friends always pay for what we have.
He was a CF OP and you all did well to stand up to him.

I had an acquaintance like this, we would go out to eat and he would order loads of food and drink lots, the first time he cane we split the bill like our group always had done, my £25 meal cost me £45, the next time my sister and I arranged for our bill to be separate, we were a group of 10 people, the others in the group were not happy we had done this when they realised how much more their bill was because of this bloke, the next time we ate out everyone insisted on ordering separately and having their own bills, funnily enough this guy ordered buggar all no extra dishes, no expensive main course and only 1 drink cheeky freeloader he was!!

Oh hell no!
Difference of my starter was £8 yours £11 main £26 and £31 desert £6 and 9 yeah whatever split the bill but subbing alcoholic drinks and extra food (again don't mind a extra side!) oh hell no!!

Yeah, if everyone's having a main course that's around the £8-£10 mark and everyone has one drink (if it's one drink each, a soft drink is generally not that much cheaper than a single glass of wine/beer) then splitting it is reasonable: people who nitpick about how their chips were 50p cheaper than your sweet potato fries can be a bit tiresome.

But these CFs know what they are doing.

No-one should be made pressured into splitting the bill even if it's £2 or £3. And it's not being tight. When splitting the bill someone will always be disadvantaged. That's why there are CFs as they rely on someone else to pay their bill.

made

No-one should be made pressured into splitting the bill even if it's £2 or £3. And it's not being tight. When splitting the bill someone will always be disadvantaged

I agree with this to a large degree and it’s often the same person who ends up paying more as they had less eg the one who doesn’t drink or who drinks tap water, the one who eats veggie food or whatever. It’s often the same in every group

AliceRR, I would feel very awkward knowing that someone would have to pay more because of my more expensive order. I would feel like a cheat.

@Itssosunny Yes I think I would feel cheeky in those circumstances

I have a friend who doesn't like someone in our friendship group as at her birthday meal we split the bill and she had eaten less nearly ten years ago. The irony was that she was complaining about this yet again whilst a few of us were on a city break and she had said the night before she only had half the amount of spending money. We ended up subbing her and on the last day when she alleged she had no money she decided she needed a treat and ordered a more expensive meal. Then later at the airport she found some euros in her purse. She then charged us a fiver each for petrol to the airport.

secret it sounds like your friend has been waiting ten years to get her own back

@Listlover you may be on to something. At another meal we split the bill and it wasn't until afterwards she said that it was unfair. We are a group of 18 and we have always just split it as it tends to even up in the end. This happened at a similar time, and yet is still brought up. At a recent meal for the same persons birthday the bill included a service charge and we just paid what we had this time as some had drinks beforehand and we were short and DH thought they put less in then they should have.

When splitting the bill someone will always be disadvantaged

I completely agree with this, and this is probably why bill splitting annoys me so much. I usually have vegetarian/vegan food which usually costs less, and I would feel very uncomfortable ordering more expensive food on the expectation that others will absorb the cost. So I’m almost always one of the disadvantaged ones!

I have on the odd occasion seen something more expensive that I love and rarely have. Or I fancy a couple of cocktails. Just ask to be billed separately, it's a bit of a no brainer isn't it?