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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this IS stealing and it DOES count?

194 replies

Snuffalo · 26/05/2019 17:04

Sister in law has a little piece from a fishbone cactus potted up on her windowsill, just starting to show new growth. I asked if I could have a cutting once it's established, and she said sure, or I could just go to (fancy houseplant shop up the road) and see if there was a bit on the floor, because that's where she got the cutting.

She swears she didn't break it off - that it was already broken off and on the floor near the 'parent' plant (this is believable, the shop is really crowded and you have to brush by the plants to get through).

Her argument is that it was a tiny piece (true - it's an inch long at most) and that it would have just been swept up and thrown out anyway.

My arguments are 1. unless she took the piece to the proprietor and asked if she could have it, it's still stealing. Who's to say the shop owner wouldn't have potted it up herself? and 2. the proprietor paid for the rent, soil, plant food, and put in the labour to create and nurture the plant that dropped that little one-inch cutting and SIL is effectively stealing that money and effort.

This wasn't an ACTUAL argument, just a discussion, I'm not dobbing her in or cutting her off over it, but just curious to see how other people view it.

OP posts:
Bunnybigears · 26/05/2019 17:06

I would say not stealing, she hasn't deprived the shop owner of the opportunity to take cuttings from the 'parent plant'

Conks · 26/05/2019 17:07

I wouldn’t class it as stealing

pandarific · 26/05/2019 17:07

Oh for the love of god. No, it's not 'stealing'. YABU.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 26/05/2019 17:08

Good if you for not cutting her off for it. Think you need a hobby or something else to occupy your time.

Houseonahill · 26/05/2019 17:08

Not stealing no

WidseyWoo · 26/05/2019 17:08

I think you are overthinking this and making an issue where there is none tbh.

RedSheep73 · 26/05/2019 17:09

If she's telling the truth no it isn't stealing. It was unwanted.

fishonabicycle · 26/05/2019 17:10

I cant believe you are even posting this. Get a grip!

Snuffalo · 26/05/2019 17:11

If I wasn't clear, this was a friendly discussion with SIL and it's more of a philosophical sort of question about what counts as stealing and what doesn't, and I thought this was an interesting edge case. If it upsets you that I'm pondering this on a quiet sunday afternoon please do feel absolutely free to go read another thread.

I'm still taking my cutting in a few months when this one gets going, so I guess if it is stealing I'm guilty too because I'm getting my share. The parent plant was about £50!

OP posts:
regularbutpanickingabit · 26/05/2019 17:11

Well it is clear that you cannot possibly have a cutting from hers now you know the truth of its provence.

Aside from that? You have waaaaaay too much time on your hands.

iklboo · 26/05/2019 17:12

Reverse?

Alsohuman · 26/05/2019 17:12

Of course it isn’t stealing. It would have been binned.

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 26/05/2019 17:12

Under the strict interpretation of the theft laws then yes it is stealing.
Theft by finding is still theft.

TheVanguardSix · 26/05/2019 17:12

Wow! You have NOTHING going on in your life, do you?
Lucky you!

BogglesGoggles · 26/05/2019 17:14

Stealing is defined as dishonestly appropriating property and exercising ownership rights over it with no intention of returning it. The latter two criteria are fulfilled sonit comes down to whether it is dishonest to take it. On the one hand she didn’t tell the owner or ask permission. On the other she assumed it was rubbish and therefore as good as abandoned by the owner .

Alsohuman · 26/05/2019 17:14

Your fancy house plant shop’s a real rip off, OP.

www.beardsanddaisies.co.uk/products/fishbone-cactus-epiphyllum-anguliger?variant=16620291751970

TwitterQueen1 · 26/05/2019 17:17

Jeez, if this is all you have to occupy your mind on a Sunday pm you must be a very fortunate person.

Snuffalo · 26/05/2019 17:18

Some of you get REALLY upset by the fact that some people have time for and interest in idle wondering and chit-chat and thinking about abstract concepts. Your lives must be incredibly stressful and unhappy. It was just an interesting little moral question and I was wondering how other people might see it.

OP posts:
Houseonahill · 26/05/2019 17:23

Not sure why people need to give sarky answers? I think the people who flood mumsnet with PA answers have top much time on their hands.

Snuffalo · 26/05/2019 17:23

Wow! You have NOTHING going on in your life, do you?

Today I've been for brunch, cut the grass, and made a cake. It's in the oven now. When it's done I'm taking it to a friend's house for what was going to be an evening barbecue but thanks to wind/rain has turned into a regular indoor meal, followed by pub.

Is that enough?

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 26/05/2019 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HarrietSchulenberg · 26/05/2019 17:25

Technically theft but morally salvage.

dorisdog · 26/05/2019 17:25

LOl. No it's not stealing.

BlueThang · 26/05/2019 17:25

I find these sorts of threads so annoying and self-righteous. It's like you're trying to prove how moral you are, which is all well and good when you're talking about something substantial...but a tiny piece of cactus does not count as substantial. Maybe she shouldn't have taken it but it's really not worth wasting so much time thinking about it and/or discussing it.

SerenDippitty · 26/05/2019 17:26

Technically it was the shop’s property, and your SIL has obtained something from that shop without paying for it. So I tend to agree with you OP.