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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this IS stealing and it DOES count?

194 replies

Snuffalo · 26/05/2019 17:04

Sister in law has a little piece from a fishbone cactus potted up on her windowsill, just starting to show new growth. I asked if I could have a cutting once it's established, and she said sure, or I could just go to (fancy houseplant shop up the road) and see if there was a bit on the floor, because that's where she got the cutting.

She swears she didn't break it off - that it was already broken off and on the floor near the 'parent' plant (this is believable, the shop is really crowded and you have to brush by the plants to get through).

Her argument is that it was a tiny piece (true - it's an inch long at most) and that it would have just been swept up and thrown out anyway.

My arguments are 1. unless she took the piece to the proprietor and asked if she could have it, it's still stealing. Who's to say the shop owner wouldn't have potted it up herself? and 2. the proprietor paid for the rent, soil, plant food, and put in the labour to create and nurture the plant that dropped that little one-inch cutting and SIL is effectively stealing that money and effort.

This wasn't an ACTUAL argument, just a discussion, I'm not dobbing her in or cutting her off over it, but just curious to see how other people view it.

OP posts:
NannyRed · 27/05/2019 05:03

Picking up a piece of rubbish from the floor (for that’s what is was) whilst it may technically be classed as stealing, she really hasn’t robbed anyone of anything!
It’s the true victimless ‘crime’ and I think you need to take the stick out of your arse!

Whatareyoutalkingabout · 27/05/2019 06:02

No it's not stealing. She found it and if she didn't take it it would probably have been destroyed anyway (trampled on etc). Really not a big deal at all

MadamMMA · 27/05/2019 09:44

You can regenerate a liver with just a small chunk of liver, what if you found a piece on a hospital floor ;)

perfectstorm · 27/05/2019 17:25

@CandleWithHair I completely agree with you. Reading comprehension is a dying art, it seems.

I found it interesting too, OP. With the facts she's given you, and assuming they're all accurate, I'd class this as legally stealing, but morally just a tad bit cheeky. Though if she was there to buy the plant, and ended up walking out with a cutting, arguably she deprived them of both costs and profit? I dunno. It's a hard one!

I hope your cutting from the cutting thrives. Smile

Bottletopsx · 27/05/2019 17:25

Grow up!

ToftyAC · 27/05/2019 17:31

If say if she nipped a cutting off the plant then that does count (although not in any major way), but if it’s a bit that was on the floor of course it would have been put in the bin, so in this instance, no I wouldn’t count it as stealing.

hamptonmummy · 27/05/2019 17:43

I'd say it was dishonest and not morraly right, however in the grand scheme of things I'd say it's not a massive deal although I wouldn't do myself.

Neeb1 · 27/05/2019 17:45

Are you serious? I cannot believe you typed that all out? You must really dislike your sister in law! All I can say is I have been creeping g on mums net for 2 years and I have only signed into comment on you post!

Neeb1 · 27/05/2019 17:46

Agreed!

bringincrazyback · 27/05/2019 17:46

Are you serious? I cannot believe you typed that all out? You must really dislike your sister in law! All I can say is I have been creeping g on mums net for 2 years and I have only signed into comment on you post!

Are you the OP's SIL? (kidding Grin)

Purplegecko · 27/05/2019 17:48

Legally its theft (some PP think that it's ridiculous, as a law student I've been a bit baffled by what's considered a crime or civil wrong a few times myself) but its hardly malicious and wouldn't get anywhere near a court of law, I imagine the shop owners wouldn't care. I definitely wouldn't be upset by her behaviour or get on a moral high horse about it, not really a reason to clutch pearls.

LiquidSwords · 27/05/2019 17:49

I don't know if it's stealing but it wouldn't sit well with me. You're basically taking it from the shop so that you don't have to buy one from the shop. Real nice!

MmeBoulaye · 27/05/2019 17:51

I would say life must be pretty tedious for you to even consider putting this on Mumsnet and seek a discussion. Is this a joke, to test if the Daily Mail will pick up on it and make MNetters look silly?

LouH1981 · 27/05/2019 17:51

Crim def solicitor here..definition of of theft is ‘dishonest appropriation of property belonging to another with intention of permanently depriving the other of it’ .it is technically theft because the proprietor owns the property (cutting) and even if the cutting would then be thrown away then the ownership of a the property would pass from the shop owner to refuse collection.
Classis case is when people leave items out in a skip - yes it is technically not wanted anymore but the owners intention is that it is left for the skip people to dispose of not for the general public to take.

LouH1981 · 27/05/2019 17:53

So it is technically but I doubt the police will be knocking on the door anytime soon...

1moremum · 27/05/2019 17:53

if someone came along and took something out of my rubbish bins, that I had already thrown out, it would technically be theft. They could be charged. It's mine up until the minute the bin men come along and dump it in the lorry, and then it belongs to the council. Technically.

so the bit on the floor still very much belonged to the shop owner. it hadn't even been binned yet. they might have potted it up and sold the wee thing for way less than the price of the larger parent plant, and they were deprived of the chance.

still and all, I've done exactly that myself and didn't feel a bit guilty. and won't start now.

WorraLiberty · 27/05/2019 17:54

My arguments are 1. unless she took the piece to the proprietor and asked if she could have it, it's still stealing.

Yeah because they'd love that in a shop that's so busy people have to brush past the plants!

MmeBoulaye · 27/05/2019 17:55

OMFG ... signing out.

Hefzi · 27/05/2019 17:58

I find it interesting - and telling - that many posters don't engage with the broader question OP is raising (all she said was she discussed the question with her SIL, not that she called her a thief and logged it with 101 Hmm) and one even describes it as "turgid".

OP, I think it's a very interesting question, not least for the consideration of thin ends of wedges and where borders lie etc - and you're very lucky to have a SIL who is also happy to engage in conversations about ideas. In the interests of horticultural continuity, have some Flowers

RainbowWaffles · 27/05/2019 18:05

LouH1981

Based on the reactions here, I would run denial of dishonesty in front of a jury!

Fernanie · 27/05/2019 18:05

I think the proprieter of the shop would have probably classed it as stealing. I worked in a restaurant as a teenager and got a written warning for theft because my colleague misunderstood someone's order and served them the wrong meal, which they sent back to the kitchen untouched. Just before I scraped it into the bin, I ate one bite as I'd never tasted it before and was curious. My manager happened to see and I was formally disciplined for stealing.

I'm also a member of a few gardening groups on Facebook, most of which take a very dim view of people who take "floor cuttings" from plant shops, and do consider that stealing. I think they're coming from the perspective of being plant enthusiasts though and wanting to support plant sellers and garden centres etc, rather than taking a philosophical / moral view of it.

FizzyGreenWater · 27/05/2019 18:07

Your SIL Shock

She should go to the chair for that.

Topseyt · 27/05/2019 18:14

Of course it isn't stealing. What utter bollocks. It would have been swept up and binned.

NaturalBornWoman · 27/05/2019 18:19

Every gardener knows that the best time to take a cutting is................. when nobody is looking!

My Granny had some lovely plants in her garden that she grew from cuttings acquired on various days out. She was particularly fond of the big herbaceous border at Bristol zoo.

RaisinRainbow · 27/05/2019 18:25

OP I dont understand the harsh treatment you are receiving here, to me your question is valid.
I might feel a bit guilty sneaking away a plant cutting from the floor, but that's the way my highly anxious brain is wired.
I dont know SIL at all, if there is any speculation that she may have nipped off the cutting herself, then that would be a different matter imo.

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