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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed my sister is moving house

146 replies

dottydaughterhungryhusband · 26/05/2019 11:26

My DSis currently lives in same town as me, DBro and our parents, all within five min drive or 20 min walk. I count DSis as one of my best friends and we meet a couple of times a week with kids (she has two DDs, ages 1 and 3, I have DD age 2). Also, we go out for drinks kid free about once a month in town, can walk home.

She and DH are about to offer on a house about 20 miles away, the other side of a big city. I know the house is what they want and they like the area but I just can’t understand how she can consider living so far from us all.

It will take her DH an hour and half to get to work (currently 20 mins), and it will take them two hours to come to ours / parents / DB (very bad roads for traffic).
No more coffees in town or drinks out (no public transport where she’s going). It’s not any closer to DH family. And she’s always had a strained relationship with our DM but recently things have been good and DM has been looking after DNs once a week. That will stop when she moves.

She could definitely get what they want nearer us all with a bit of patience. I know it’s not Australia but it will change everything and I liked how things were. AIBU to be p!$$€d off?

OP posts:
TacoLover · 26/05/2019 11:28

...maybe because their lives don't revolve around you and what you want?

Bumsnet69 · 26/05/2019 11:28

I really don’t see it has much to do with you so you are being U.

ssd · 26/05/2019 11:30

She's entitled to her own life

Moreisnnogedag · 26/05/2019 11:30

Woah I think space might be a good thing. You are very much in each others pockets and perhaps they want a bit of breathing space.

iklboo · 26/05/2019 11:30

You probably know you're being unreasonable - your sister and her husband have to live their own lives how they want to.

spanieleyes · 26/05/2019 11:31

It's 20 miles!

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 26/05/2019 11:31

We moved from next door to my parents, opposite one sister and round the corner from the other, to a village ten miles away.

Best thing we ever did. We still see my lot but it’s on our terms and no one just ‘pops round’ anymore, which is bliss.

MumW · 26/05/2019 11:31

Disappointed/sad, yes. Annoyed, no.

Stressedout10 · 26/05/2019 11:32

Yes
She is doing what's right for her and her family, not you.
Your sisters life should not have to revolve around you .
Have you considered the fact that she doesn't want to see you so much because you sound very selfish and really hard work

European12345 · 26/05/2019 11:33

I like how things were

Maybe she didn’t.

Puffkin · 26/05/2019 11:33

Put down the crazy and back away from your sister.

Alsohuman · 26/05/2019 11:33

How can 20 miles take two hours? That’s 10mph ffs!

CostanzaG · 26/05/2019 11:34

It's 20 miles! DH's sister moved to Hong Kong last year! People are entitled to their own lives

ElspethFlashman · 26/05/2019 11:34

And she’s always had a strained relationship with our DM but recently things have been good and DM has been looking after DNs once a week. That will stop when she moves

Spoiler alert: she wants it to stop.

flumpybear · 26/05/2019 11:34

She probably wants space / different strokes and all that

VanillaCoconutDove · 26/05/2019 11:34

I think your being ‘pissed off’ is telling, and might be a factor in why she sees this new home as a haven for her/her family. Maybe she’s ready to step out on her own and not to feel she has to be so available to her family.

saraclara · 26/05/2019 11:35

I have no family within 100 miles. We were the ones who moved away, and nobody made a fuss.

You're being entirely unreasonable. You can be sad about it, but annoyed? That's just weird and unfair.

Eistigi · 26/05/2019 11:36

Maybe she doesn't want to be so close to you all, and actually wants to move away! It all sounds a bit suffocating.

doingasurvey · 26/05/2019 11:36

How bad can the traffic be at all times of the day for it to take 2 hours to do 20 miles? Half an hour to travel 5 miles? That’s an average of 10mph

FoxSquadKitten · 26/05/2019 11:36

How can 20 miles take two hours? That’s 10mph ffs!

That's what I wondered 🤔

Redglitter · 26/05/2019 11:37

Its only 20 miles
Unless you're walking I cant see how that's going to take 2 hours

Acis · 26/05/2019 11:37

Difficult to believe that 20 miles is two hours' travel irrespective of the time of day you travel, and irrespective of how you travel.

Chamomileteaplease · 26/05/2019 11:38

There must be some great things about this house if her husband is to have a new hour and half commute to work! Sounds pretty stupid with such young children.

Presumably your sister has spoken about her feelings and reasons?

Arlenia · 26/05/2019 11:39

I live in the centre of a city with atrocious traffic, but travelling 20 miles still doesn't take 2 hours.

ControversialFerret · 26/05/2019 11:39

How can 20 miles take two hours? That’s 10mph ffs!

Depends where you are and what traffic is like. I travel to a nearby city regularly which is 23 miles away. The usual journey time can be anywhere from 30 minutes - 3 hours as it's all dependent on traffic.