'Too young' for him?

[fanvolvi]

BF's family has made comments about me being 'too young' for him.
I haven't met them yet, but I am this month.
I'm even more apprehensive to now I know their view.
I'm 19, he's 26/27.
Is this something that they'll just get used to or am I always going to feel a bit judged for the age difference right now?

@fanvolvi it is not creepy and you are not too young for him. I'm actually pretty surprised that so many seem to think this is the case. At 19 you're hardly a child. And at 27 he's hardly a perverted old man. Honestly 🙄

OP when I was 18 I had a boyfriend with similar age gap

people get judgey but I always think, imagine going out with someone your own age at that age! Er, no.

anyway, if his family are judgey I would keep out of their way.

all good wishes to you

Men who are almost 30, who go for teenaged single mums (even when they are dads themselves) tend to be controlling. I have seen this in my family. Provided he’s not and he treats you well and with respect then go for it.

You have a child so you are probably not living as most 19 year olds would. Therefore age gap not really so much of an issue.

Queue onslaught of mners coming on and saying they were 17 when they met their 40 year old husband and they are still ecstatically happy together 20 years

Cue, please!

Would it matter to people if the OP was 29 and the boyfriend was 36? Is it just that she’s a teenager?

What if she was 22 and he was 29?

I don’t think that’s a problem at all, OP. I was 20 and my DH was 26 when we started going out-not that different at all.

I remember DD saying how weird it was the her uni mate had a BF at 23, and they were at such different stages of their lives and different levels of maturity. Her a fancy dress wearing, party animal studying for a degree and him with his own home and working in a big city.

I think that is more of an age gap perhaps than two single parents with things in common.

Ignore everyone else.

I was 20 when I met my now DH and he was 29. There was nothing creepy about him!! He is the kindest,most generous and loving husband and father (we now have 2 DC). 14 yrs later we are still very happy and the age gap makes no difference whatsoever

I (female) was 29 when I met my OH (male), he was 19. We've been together 23 years and have 2 DS. Some people were a bit judgey about they age gap, but we ignored it.

I don't think it's an issue tbh, as long as you're both happy x

I was 19 and DH 25 when we got together. I am now 30 and we have 3 kids, a mortgage and are both professionals. I found "men" my own age were sooo immature when I was 19

It depends on where you are in your life. If 19 at uni and dating someone whos 26 working children house yes you are and id be worried. If both working etc maybe. You do have alot of delevoping to do even if working, got child etc at 19 compared to 26. The age difference gets less as you get older. The question is does it feel right with him as only you and him know that no one else! X

26/27?? What?? How do you not know your own boyfriends actual age?

The thing is at your very young age and still being a teenager, the age gap seems significant. I'm glad for the happy women who met their husbands at 17 and their husbands nearly 30 but if one of my friends was chasing a teenager, I'd find it quite distasteful. You're so young and rather innocent in many ways, that it can't really a be a relationship of equals.

However should you stay together, an 8 year gap will eventually be nothing. Nobody will bat an eyelid at 31 and 39. You are both parents and that's a great leveller.

Half his age plus 7 is a good guide, so 20 is reasonable, when is your birthday op? He was cradle snatching a bit, but the gap will lessen as time goes on. I went to a golden wedding where they married when she was 18, he was 28. There were some issues but a good relationship.

@Hithere12 turning 27 in a few days (said further up the thread too).

12 years in between my husband and me - I met him at 21. Is that better? You’re both adults - I don’t see a problem.

I was 19 and my boyfriend was 28 when we got together.

We're now 26 and 35 and happily married with two children.

Hmm I don’t know. I was 18, my boyfriend was 29 at the time, we were together for three years.

At the time I thought the age gap was fine but now I look on it 10 years on I don’t think it was right.

He just had so much more life experience than a teenager and there was an imbalance there where he was able to manipulate me in ways he wouldn’t if we were the same age if that makes sense.

I agree that I think you're too young for him. When I was 19 I dated a man who was 27, for 2 years. I finally left him when I realised how controlling, creepy, and immature he was. I feel like he stole those 2 years from me.

I do slightly judge men that do this. As a 28 year old I couldn’t think of anything worse than dating a teenager.

Super judgemental people here.

It’s not creepy if you are on the same page. People can be mature at 19, or immature at 27.

FWIW I met my husband when he was 18 and I was 29, and I’m not creepy or some kind of predator 😂 he was just one of those people who’ve never been “young” if you know what I mean.

Same gap as me and DP but we were a few years younger. We have been together for a loooonnnnng time now (over 10 yrs) and we don’t get the ‘she’s too young/he’s too old/it’ll never work’ crap anymore. I think it stopped after a couple of years

Would people feel the same if it was a 28 or 30 year old female dating a 19 year old male?

I think there are 19 year olds and there are 19 year olds. My eldest daughter was very mature at that age so I wouldn't have batted an eyelid at her dating a man 7 years older,whereas my youngest daughter (20) is still quite childlike in many ways,so I would be more worried. Once your bf's family meet you and see that you have your head screwed on I'm sure they'll be more accepting of the relationship. Good luck.

When I was 19 I was with a 25-year-old. The age difference was immaterial tbh. We didn’t stay together, but that was for many reasons other than our ages. It’s the quality of the relationship and whether what you both want from it remains compatible over time.