I was on a train that hit somebody today (Distressing content)

[mindgoinground12]

Im normaly posting here about one of my 5 DS's and i didnt know were to put this particular topic.
Before i start i just want to say, i dont want to make this about me, all of my thoughts have been going to the family, driver and services who dealt with the aftermath.
I had been on a day out seeing friends, rural village. Got on a busy train heading home. Suddenly heard the horn, then a horrible sound which i can only describe as branches hitting a bus window and a bump. The train came to a halt, i thought we'd hit an animal. They came on the intercom to say incedent this soon turned into a person on the line, then fatality. The police arrived quickly, we on the train tried our best to distract kids who were getting restless and try to stop them looking at the police/clean up who were going beside the train. (couldnt see anything apart from the police) after a few hours we moved. But i cant keep going over things, my eldest has server mental health problems and i dont know if thats making me think diffrently. But i kept thinking how easily accsed the track was, how that bump, was a life gone. The driver, the emergency services who dealt with the aftermath. The family who will be reciving the worst news today. I dont feel i can be upset as it wasnt me who was involved, but i can t help thinking about what happened. Its cropped up on news and all they taled about was the delays, non of us on the train thought about that. I dont know what i want to get from this post, maybe to just right it down.

@bribery I hope with all my heart that your sister and your son get the help they need and never find themselves in that position. If it's any (small) comfort it was when my husband stopped talking to me about killing himself that he made up his mind to do it. I didn't know that until afterwards when I mentioned to my psychiatrist (oh yes, suicide does that to the ones left behind). I wish I'd known earlier, but even if I did I don't know if I would have stopped him.

Anyway, I hope you are never in that position. Someone once said that suicide is like a bomb going off under the table. An apt description.

Very good post bribery Hoping things improve for your sister and son.

As a regular commuter into London experiencing fairly regular delays, I also see both perspectives, awful for everyone involved but also absolutely understandable for people to feel frustrated at the inconvenience. How awful for the person who missed the final moments of her father. Just awful.

A lot of cities internationally have glass/plastic screens between the train and platforms now, these should really be introduced here as a priority- especially on the underground

I'm a train driver so see it from all sides.

We are told to say person hit by a train now as opposed to fatality. The reason we don't say "operational incident" is because if we do, after 10 minutes or so people will be banging on our door to shout and moan. If you've just killed someone you don't need that.

For the most part once passengers know the truth they are understanding and patient. Of course you get some who complain and I get that they are frustrated.

Some of my colleagues have had months off after a suicide, some are back within a few days. Everyone copes with it differently.

We have access to counselling and of course colleagues to talk it over with.

None of my colleagues who I've discussed it with have ever expressed anything other than sadness for the individual concerned and for the family they've left behind. It's not a cry for help when you choose to stand in front of a train travelling 100mph. It's an act of pure desperation.

For me it's not shocking anymore. I've been driving a long time. It's just something you come to accept can happen at any time. That's not to say I don't find it very sad though.

My friend had Schizophenia and jumped in front of a train. I wasn't there but I arrived soon afterwards. It's just horrible for everyone.

I don't think we can really make tracks more difficult to access - the cost and practical aspects would be too much I think. Also there are people who walk in front on trucks on motorways so sadly it seems determined or unbalanced individuals will find a way.

@Leighhalfpennysthigh I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you've been through in the aftermath... It's so unbearably sad that so many people, your husband included, are suffering so badly and it just seems that there is just not enough help out there for everyone. My friend is training to be a counsellor and she says they've made it so difficult/expensive to train that she imagines there will be a shortage of trained therapists soon. I think mental health services definitely need a huge overhaul. I think though, that most people are becoming better at taking away the stigma and talking about it more freely these days, which is definitely a good thing.

My sister and son are both doing a fair bit better, thank you! She has had some therapy last year which was positive for her and he is currently on the waiting list but seems to have found more motivation with his studies as he got some unexpectedly good results recently and has pushed him to keep going (his fear of failure is worse than the reality). I guess the thing to do is keep talking and checking in. It's such a scary prospect but really a downward spiral in mental health could suddenly happen to any of us. I hope that you're doing okay and have found some peace since ❤️ what you've been through is devastating...x

This is a really moving thread.

Op, I totally understand. I was on a sleeper train in America 20 years ago where this happened in the middle of the night and it was profoundly affecting. I remember it vividly now and think of it often. It's just such an act of desperation and so very sad.