I was on a train that hit somebody today (Distressing content)

[mindgoinground12]

Im normaly posting here about one of my 5 DS's and i didnt know were to put this particular topic.
Before i start i just want to say, i dont want to make this about me, all of my thoughts have been going to the family, driver and services who dealt with the aftermath.
I had been on a day out seeing friends, rural village. Got on a busy train heading home. Suddenly heard the horn, then a horrible sound which i can only describe as branches hitting a bus window and a bump. The train came to a halt, i thought we'd hit an animal. They came on the intercom to say incedent this soon turned into a person on the line, then fatality. The police arrived quickly, we on the train tried our best to distract kids who were getting restless and try to stop them looking at the police/clean up who were going beside the train. (couldnt see anything apart from the police) after a few hours we moved. But i cant keep going over things, my eldest has server mental health problems and i dont know if thats making me think diffrently. But i kept thinking how easily accsed the track was, how that bump, was a life gone. The driver, the emergency services who dealt with the aftermath. The family who will be reciving the worst news today. I dont feel i can be upset as it wasnt me who was involved, but i can t help thinking about what happened. Its cropped up on news and all they taled about was the delays, non of us on the train thought about that. I dont know what i want to get from this post, maybe to just right it down.

It may seem selfish but obviously if you feel that low in life to throw yourself under a train you aren't going to think straight are you. It's desperation. You just want whatever pain you are in to end.

Op talk to people. It's good you are writing your thoughts down.

This happens very frequently on the train line I use. I’ve never been in the train that hit the person but I’ve been frequently delayed. They always announce it as a fatality. I never understood why. It just seems so morbid and ghoulish when they could just say there was an incident instead. Perhaps the should put up some barriers in stations and on railway bridges to at least minimise the impact of train suicides.

@boobirdblue @EmeraldShamrock thank you and EmeraldShamrock I'm so glad you got through to the other side.

This thread is so sad. Op I think it would be unrealistic if you were not affected by today's tragedy. It has to have been horrrendous and it's sad to read so many have experienced the same situation or lost people to suicide in this way. I know one person who did this. It's unimaginable but going by this thread it's not uncommon Be kind to yourself and don't bottle up those feelings.

Thank you for your kind words, thought about it most the night.
The say a fatality, as you become aware anyway it's network rail procedure for the police to inspect the inside of the train and there officers and clean up crews at the side of the train and it often ends up in the news unfortunately

Unfortunately due to the stigma, cuts MH services, it is not going to get better anytime soon,
The government in Ireland & the U.K. failed to reopen lots of the services that closed during the resession.

Sorry I didn’t explain further, in fairness they were called fatalities on the line, so I do not know if they were all suicides so that was unfair but basically 3 people died on 3 different train routes. It happened a lot over the years I made the journey: it massively slowed everything down and weirdly normalised it for me. Lots of regular commuters may have experienced this too. I obviously felt some sadness and bad for the families but it just happened so often I would basically moan.

Yeah my route was madness took ages because I couldn’t get direct trains. So another one was rugby-Birmingham- cheltenham then chippeningham. It depended on trains available at the times I went. I wish I’d have control of routes as obviously sometimes it seemed like I was going out of my way.

Sorry op for how your feeling and I’m sorry I come across as insensitive. I do feel differently now but I’m giving my perspective. Xx

Interestingly, going south it happened more than going north, wonder if there’s something in that 🤔

DP is a train driver...

It's nice to hear someone actually care about the fatality, a lot of passengers only care about their destination/delays etc.

I didn’t count the amount of times but I seriously would have lost count over the 6 years. Obviously they might not have all been suicides, some may have been accidental deaths.

I’m sorry to say I did moan :( it was wrong, I’d never actually get a train now. I don’t want to derail the thread. I’m sure many people would be horrified and disagree with me but just giving my side.

Thank you for your kind words, the person is still in my thoughts and will be for quite a while

I see both sides of the coin I think. I completely understand that people about to commit suicide are not necessarily thinking of the other passengers or train driver. Considering the distress drivers then have, I think it is selfish on that level. However they're hardly in the right frame of mind so I do feel sorry for them. And their families of course.

I also feel for the poor drivers. Terrible thing to experience.

That said, I don't believe that anyone who moans about delays in these circumstances are unreasonable, unsympathetic etc. As humans we tend to put our needs first, which is ok.

I've been in trains that have been delayed (not for jumpers, for trespassers on the line and for other trains in front going slowly). In many cases 10mins late can be serious.

Being delayed by hours isn't a problem if you're only going to your friends or the city for some shopping. I imagine that isn't true for everyone. Many people (me included) have probably had to run between platforms lugging suitcases and all sorts, getting caught in delays - - stupid slow dawdlers on escalators - - in order to catch their connection to work, or an important meeting.

And it's a good idea to book trains with a longer period in between connections to allow for delays. That's fine for 10mins. What if you're stuck on a train for hours? The stress that'd cause let alone the impression you're giving interviewers.

I was on a train the other night coming home. It should have been a 20min journey and took 2hes to get there due to police incidents and trespassers. I then got home and missed the last bus home. So had to get a taxi at 11pm. Then back in work for 8am

So I can quite easily understand how frustrated other passengers can become. I think it's understandable. Especially if you're in a city where it happens regularly. You can't cry every time it happens or your MH would be seriously affected. I imagine in bigger cities it's something people have to get used to. Acting in an offhand Manner might well be a defence mechanism.

To everyone saying they think moaning is disgraceful. I wonder if you'd feel the same if it meant you were half hour late to an important interview, if you missed your flight, if you missed the birth of your child, if you missed a school play, if it took you 4hrs to get home, if you missed an important meeting, if you were awfully late to work etc.

Doing this is selfish. It's selfish to a small extent to all the passengers having their life disrupted for potentially hours on end and certainly to the poor driver. Anyone doing this is likely mentally ill so Its not a conscious choice for them, but it is a selfish act all the same

Thanks madein you made my point much better than I could. X

how awful for you and all concerned .
Just be kind to yourself. You have had a shock .

Madein1995.

You make a fair point.
But when dp comes home pale faced and vomiting, i couldnt care less about your 2 hour delay.

I really feel for you OP. An awful thing for everyone involved. My cousin died by jumping in front of a train. It's interesting to note that she wasn't mentally ill. She was sane, but decided that she couldn't cope with an upcoming event/issue and chose to die instead.

Some people are sane and make a carefully considered decision to die. Their life may just be awful and unbearable. Not all are mentally ill.

This is just awful and your reaction is perfectly normal so please don’t feel bad about how you’re feeling

Madein1995 Did you rtft?
We are all aware it causes inconvenience to passengers, there is no need to litterly spell it out, listing the hold ups.
This so far is not a thread about the inconvenience of suicide, so far it has been based on compassion for the victim, their family, the emergency services, the driver and passengers, the ones like OP who will be left with this memory for along time.

@boobirdblue I am sorry for your loss.

My OH drives the tubes on one of the most popular lines to jump on. It has a particular point where the tube speeds up near Heathrow. I'm very very glad he's not been one of the unlucky ones who has has a 'one under'. He did hit and squash a deer once though. He described the sound, feeling of it, etc and it's disgusting so heaven forbid what a person driving experiences when it's a human. I won't condemn suicide jumpers because I get it.

Someone I loved chose this way to end their life and it is a truly dreadful thing to experience. I’ll never get over it, to be honest. Use it as an opportunity to talk to your loved ones who you suspect have mental health issues going on. Don’t explicitly say what happened just check in with them. See how they’re doing. None of us knew what was going on in my case and I wish to god there had been more conversations about emotional and mental well-being.

Whilst I believe that a person who chooses to kill them selves under a train cannot be held responsible for their actions (due to such severe mental illness), I also believe that it absolutely IS probably the most selfish way to kill yourself and we shouldn't give people a hard time for being upset or feeling inconvenienced.

As mentioned by a previous poster, the "inconveniences" can actually have quite awful repercussions on many people. My ex works in London still and is regularly delayed by fatalities on the track, but other than being late here or there has never been too badly effected. Two friends that come to mind however; one missed the job interview of a lifetime due to a fatality which was a real shame for him. But even worse, a separate suicide caused another friend to miss being with her dad in his dying moments at the hospital she was rushing to try to get to. Had her train journey not been delayed in this way she would have definitely made it in time to hold his hand with the rest of her family who were already there. She was utterly heartbroken and has never got over it, feeling like her dad may have felt she didn't care enough to be there before he passed away. Are my friends not justified in feeling anger towards the person who caused all this by choosing this way to die? I think they are.

The suicidal person does not have the monopoly on "shit life syndrome" to the point where other people cease to matter in their quest to end their pain. So it's hard not to feel bitter if their actions have cost you in some way. But of course if someone chooses to end their life this way it's so unthinkably sad that they were struggling so much that they chose this route. Unbearable even. Hearing an previous poster describe what it feels like to consider it is real eye opener. ❤️ This method is presumably picked because it is the most violently effective of all. As an objective outsider I can have sympathy for both sides. But it's easy for me to say as I haven't been affected in either way.

Once a person chooses to end their life under a train they set off a chain of events and awful consequences for many people. The driver (who possibly deserves the most sympathy of all), has unwittingly been forced into the role of executioner and this may cause him to become too traumatised to continue his job which is very unfair. The emergency services who have to clean up the end result, will have some horrific images imprinted in their minds that also might cause them continuing trauma. The victims family who will be forever heartbroken and probably be feeling a mixture of bewilderment and maybe guilt. And yes, even the passengers who have had their lives "inconvenienced" by the inevitable delay - sometimes (like in the case of my two friends) in life changing ways or like the OP, who was distressed along with her young child. It's verrrrrry hard to try and summon up the same amount of sympathy for the one person who caused all of that, even though you know deep down that they really couldn't help it.

Lastly, before I get jumped on for offering both perspectives, I live in fear of this ever being a part of my future. Both my oldest son and my sister have struggled with depression and BOTH have mentioned jumping in front of a train to me during their lower points. Never has my blood run colder (especially when my boy mentioned it, oh so matter-of-factly) and I've had to explain all of the above to them in the desperate hope that they will never consider it again, even in their lowest moments.

It's terribly sad for all involved really. But let's not ever tell any of the people involved that they're not entitled to their feelings. OP I hope you and your little one are okay...

People are entitled to their own feelings, suicidal people are not selfish, they are extremely unwell and suffering from a mind changing illness.

If someone had a brain tumour which had an adverse affect and made them do something out of character like jump from a bridge, they would not be called selfish, mental health illness is just as real, mind and character altering and debilitating as other illnesses.

@Madein1995 I too couldn't care less about your being late for work, people not seeing the birth of their baby or any other reason. My husband didn't come home that day because he was dead. Do you understand that? It wasn't just an inconvenience it was permanently dead. I will never see him again.