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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tell me your stories of finding out sex at birth!

141 replies

TheLetterOfTheLawTheLetter · 23/05/2019 21:47

First, I know this isn't a big deal. I know everyone is ultimately happy with their choice (to find out or not). Its just I need some motivation to not find our for dc2, having turned down one opportunity already! I'm very impatient and usually cant wait for anything, certainly didn't for dc1.

I'm wondering if I do wait then, if the birth is anything like the last (very fast, intense), I wont give a damn, and wish I'd have found it under more calm circumstances!

I'm basically looking for someone to tell me their not finding out experience was lovely, and give me motivation to hold out.

Sorry, this is not exactly a problem I know! I'll be incredibly lucky to have a healthy baby. I'm just curious to heart what others thought of the whole surprise thing!

OP posts:

cricketmum84 · 24/05/2019 08:18

I had a surprise with both.

DS - was told I was having a little girl, arrived at hospital with a bag full of pink and frills. He was back to back and ventouse delivery and I remember them holding him up as they pulled him out and seeing a willy and just being OMG WHAT THE HELL!!

DD - we didn't find out at the scan, had a lovely quick stress free delivery and they placed her in my arms so we could find out ourselves. Literally one of the best moments of my life. I would have been happy with either as long as baby was healthy but secretly really really wanted a girl.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 24/05/2019 08:21

I didn't have so much as a scan for my first (38 years ago!), let alone any clue as to sex. I was desperate for a girl and overjoyed to have one. She came wrapped in a pink blanket.

My second and third were boys. They came wrapped in a blue blanket. This is how it was done in the olden days.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 24/05/2019 08:24

I was so convinced i was having another boy that when the consultant held dd over the screen (c section) my first thought was

WHERE THE HELL IS HIS PENIS!!!!

I checked her nappies for weeks after...id be looking at her thinking...no its a boy and id have to check

ChocChocButtons · 24/05/2019 08:27

I would say don’t. There aren’t many true surprises in life as special, as this one really are there?

SoupDragon · 24/05/2019 08:35

Do you think it isn't a surprise when someone tells you at the scan then?

Luxembourgmama · 24/05/2019 09:19

It was brilliant. I was so hoping for a girl and I got one it was s cool surprise

CuppaSarah · 24/05/2019 09:32

We didn't find out with our last baby. Convinced it was a boy, everyone was. It was tough and at times I regretted the decision to wait. But my family absolutely loved the surprise and really enjoyed it.

When she came out and DH told me she was a girl I was shocked, but really thrilled. The best part was telling all our family and friends she was a girl. Our eldest who was desperate for a girl wanted to take her nappy off to see what the baby had to find out. Her face when she saw the cord and mistook it for a penis, then when I showed her that no she had a sister. It was lovely. Seeing my MIL cry because her last grandchild was a little girl after three(much loved before anyone says it) little boys. It was so worth it. It made the joy of introducing her really exciting.

If I lost the plot and had a fourth I wouldn't find out again. It's worth waiting for personally.

Aguamenti · 24/05/2019 10:48

I don't mind finding out on scan. I personally don't have the patience keep waiting for 9 months and finding out before birth wont change the outcome. It's a reveal and a surprise either way.

tisonlymeagain · 24/05/2019 10:53

I found out at the birth both times. I wasn't really fussed about finding out at the scan. It's a bit annoying all the way through though because in this day and age people assume you know and just aren't telling them. I am TTC now and won't find out. Makes no difference, don't really understand why I need to know in advance!

ElfrideSwancourt · 24/05/2019 11:01

I didn't find out in advance for either of mine.

With first DD midwife told me, and my 2nd was a water birth, so my husband and I saw when I lifted her out of the water - a very special moment for us both 😊

3timeslucky · 24/05/2019 11:19

I didn't find out on any of my three. I loved the sense of wonderment, the not knowing, the sense of anticipation.

With my third we said we didn't want to know but then the scanner used "he" to refer to the baby. So we assumed we were having a third boy. Which was fine and we were happy and looking forward to meeting him.
When the baby was born I looked down and saw what I expected to see and said something to dh about our son. Midwife pointed out the umbilical cord was just that and that we had a daughter. It really was the icing on the cake and the story is now part of our family folklore.

I've a friend who found out on her third pregnancy because she had two boys and would have loved a girl. She didn't want the birth to be tinged with even a note of disappointment so she found out in advance so that she could adjust (not sure if that's the right word) in advance. As it turned out she was carrying a third boy and was very glad she dealt with the tiny bit of sadness beforehand so that she could be utterly joyful at the safe arrival of her much loved third son. That made sense to me. But outside of that kind of situation I think there's a lot to be said for the surprise factor.

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 24/05/2019 11:27

Didn't find out with either of mine( one of each) first was quite a traumatic birth and I genuinely didn't care what sex the baby was as long as he was ok, but seeing dh's fave when he held him was amazing. I was convinced I was having another boy so when I had my second I asked "what is it" and the midwife told me to look, I was gob smacked she was a girl, amazing moment. Didn't even notice she had red hair (we're both dark) until a midwife mentioned it hours later 😂. Not having any more, but I wouldn't find out. Saying that I get irrationally annoyed when other people don't find out because I'm nosey

SoyDora · 24/05/2019 11:31

I didn’t find out with my first, did with my second and third.
All equally as lovely and exciting . Not knowing was great, knowing was great too. I never understand why people think the birth of your child would be less amazing just because too already know what’s between its legs to be honest!

Pinkvoid · 24/05/2019 11:31

I only did it with DC3 and chose not to repeat that experience with DC4. I didn’t like it. I was convinced she was a boy for various reasons so had a boy name set in my head. Then she arrived and was obviously a girl so she was nameless for a while and even after I named her, I called her baby for ages. It wouldn’t click that she was a girl. I can’t even begin to explain it because I wasn’t disappointed or anything, it’s just because I had utterly convinced myself for months beforehand that I’d be having a boy.

SoyDora · 24/05/2019 11:33

There aren’t many true surprises in life as special, as this one really are there?

Having done it both ways I can tell you the birth of your child is equally as special, regardless of whether you know the sex or not!
Plus it’s only one of two options isn’t it.

jackstini · 24/05/2019 11:47

I didn't find out either time - and both times I had guessed wrong

I chose for the doc to show DH and him to tell me

I got 'everything's going to be pink!' And 'wow, massive bollocks!'

Love remembering that moment of finding out

Plus it's the one thing you can put in your birth plan that's pretty much guaranteed to happen as planned...

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