Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Tell me your stories of finding out sex at birth!

141 replies

TheLetterOfTheLawTheLetter · 23/05/2019 21:47

First, I know this isn't a big deal. I know everyone is ultimately happy with their choice (to find out or not). Its just I need some motivation to not find our for dc2, having turned down one opportunity already! I'm very impatient and usually cant wait for anything, certainly didn't for dc1.

I'm wondering if I do wait then, if the birth is anything like the last (very fast, intense), I wont give a damn, and wish I'd have found it under more calm circumstances!

I'm basically looking for someone to tell me their not finding out experience was lovely, and give me motivation to hold out.

Sorry, this is not exactly a problem I know! I'll be incredibly lucky to have a healthy baby. I'm just curious to heart what others thought of the whole surprise thing!

OP posts:

Darbs76 · 23/05/2019 22:54

Also I see what people say about not knowing gets you through those last weeks. I must admit I found it more frustrating, those weeks dragging and wishing I just knew! Those last weeks with DD1 were very exciting too just getting ready all my girls clothes / imagining my boys with their sister. Either way you get through those last weeks of pregnancy or birth anyway, you’ve no choice

SoupDragon · 23/05/2019 22:54

It hadn’t occurred to DH to look! He was just staring in awe at our little baby!

And do you think knowing the sex in advance would have changed that? He would still have been staring in awe at the baby.

ladybug92 · 23/05/2019 22:55

These are such beautiful stories. We have had 2 surprises, first a baby girl (who I thought was a boy) and second a boy (who I thought was a girl).
I loved not knowing. I loved my husband, my family, any people guessing... My friends at work were pregnant too and they all knew so I was the odd one out. I don't care about shopping for clothes etc so wasn't phases by that. I couldn't believe we made a boy though. I had never imagined myself a mother of a boy but I am over the moon. :)

Whoops75 · 23/05/2019 22:56

I didn’t find out in my first, the announcement at birth was wonderful.

On my other 3 I found out and the announcement at the scan was wonderful.

It’s really no different op
I preferred knowing as I like to plan if it had ruined no 2 I wouldn’t have done it for 3&4.

Go for it if you want to, there is no right or wrong way.

OwlinaTree · 23/05/2019 22:58

These stories are lovely to read. I didn't find out with any of mine. Loved the guessing, kept me going through the Pg each time!

Had ds by c section as first birth didn't go well. Was amazing to find out he was a boy. Then when having second section, the doctor showed my DH, can you tell what it is? He said it's a girl? And they said yes we looked at each other like .

Roundtoedshoes · 23/05/2019 22:59

We chose not to find out (although DH wanted to know!)

I loved the fact we didn’t as I was so happy when the midwife told us what we had (not that I had a preference, I just thought it was wonderful). I felt a rush of love all over again.

That’s not to say if you choose to find out it’s not as good, but I do feel like there are very few nice surprises in our lives - with the way we have access to information so readily, I felt it was nice to just wait and see - after all, you can’t change what you are having.

percheron67 · 23/05/2019 23:00

The sheer pleasure of being told you have a lovely baby boy or girl is wonderful. It is a beautiful surprise. So worth waiting for.

aweedropofsancerre · 23/05/2019 23:01

I think its great that those that say they were so delighted to be surprised at the birth clearly didnt care.....i do think even within that group its not unusual to have an idea of preference. I was happy to know with all of mine and I remember being upset at finding out I was having a girl at the 20 week scan, Happy that I had time to adjust and look forward to her arrival...(I grew up with 5 sisters and didn't want a girl )

floraloctopus · 23/05/2019 23:03

I didn't know with either of mine. I think it's weird when people have chosen a name and made it public before the birth and post on social media about it being x weeks until Fred is born. I've only it seen it a few times though.

PlatypusPie · 23/05/2019 23:03

I didn’t know, or want to know, with either of ours . It was a delightful surprise to find it was a girl ( and a validation of a midwife’s prediction based on the heartbeat - 50/50 chance !) with #1 . With #2/I had convinced myself it was a boy, though chose not to be told, but it wasn’t a disappointment at all when it was another girl. I understand that people do find out because they can and want to, but it’s a choice we are glad we didn’t take - it was much more exciting for everyone concerned to-have the surprise and I just don’t really get why anyone would want to spoil that. Each to their own.

YetAnotherThing · 23/05/2019 23:04

I was so glad I found out - my DD was delivered in an emergency and I was shoved under a general anaesthetic, so would have been the last to know until I Came round. In the emergency my DP was also banned from theatre so it would have been him told by midwife alone, so less of a joint suprise. When I saw her, I just felt I knew her (which i’m sure is also true even if you don’t find out) but it was definitely more important because I didn’t see her delivered. I think I could have had weird baby swapping thoughts if I hadn’t already known gender.

mummagirl · 23/05/2019 23:04

I'm glad I knew at my las
But nor convinced because the previous one would have been wrongly advised due to a genetic condition

DaddysGirl36 · 23/05/2019 23:04

I love surprises & have always said I'd wait until birth

DS1 - Found out at birth. DH told me it was a boy. Such a lovely experience. Then revealing we'd had a boy & the name to every one was just wonderful

Currently pregnant & just had 20 week scan - we found out to be prepared as got lots of boy baby stuff still & if we were having a girl, I'd get rid of it all & make room for new things. My DH also wanted to know in first pregnancy so I thought it was only fair to do it this time.

They have said they "think" it's a girl. A very nice but vague comment & told they can't confirm these things (fair enough). I now feel sad about the whole experience & wish I'd waited until birth as it was much more exciting & real.

PhillipeFellope · 23/05/2019 23:09

I didn't find out because I was scared it wouldn't be what I thought I wanted and I didn't ever want to look at my baby and think I'd been disappointed with them before they were born, even momentarily (And I've had two friends who had found out at scans, decorated rooms, chosen clothes, names etc, and then birthed the opposite sex and struggled with not getting the baby they expected).

When DC was born, I was so smacked off my tits on the drugs and exhaustion I don't think it really sunk in till after anyway. Dh said it was the wrong sex, had to be corrected by the surgeon. It was wonderful. Find memories.

Moonsick · 23/05/2019 23:23

I found out with the first, but then I read hundreds of stories where the sonographer had been wrong. So I spent those months between then and the birth still wondering anyway!

With the second I didn't really care, it had to be one or the other and I had no preference either way. The baby was the bit I was waiting for, the presence or absence of dangly bits was pretty immaterial until it came to nappy changing time .

circeplease · 23/05/2019 23:35

I have four children and I found out with the first two; not the second two.
Given another chance it would be surprise every time - it’s a magical moment.

ChipsAreLife · 23/05/2019 23:40

I didn't find out either time. Found it so bloody exciting not knowing. The moment I was told straight after birth was (cheesy alert) magical.

I didn't really care what I had and bought everything neutral to reuse anyway so I didn't see the benefit in finding out before.

Plus there are so few genuine surprises in life I wanted to drag this one out

Owlbert · 23/05/2019 23:50

I loved finding out at birth with both of mine. As others have said it's like the anticipation at Christmas and finally on Christmas morning getting to open them. I also think it helped in labour keeping my mind on the 'surprise'. One thing I wasn't expecting but was lovely was all the hospital staff (sonographers, nurses, midvives, students, cleaners, anesthetists and surgeons) seemed to be really excited about me having a surprise (many commented on how unusual it is these days) and that made it feel all the more special at the time! I don't think there is a 'right' time to find out but for me I am so happy I chose to wait!

PickAChew · 23/05/2019 23:53

When i had my scan for DS1, they had a no tell policy in the hospital, so he was a complete surprise. I simply bought gender neutral clothes and had 2 sts of names ready.

Graphista · 23/05/2019 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PickAChew · 23/05/2019 23:57

Having 2 boys, IME the sack is neither wee nor hairy. It's disproportionately big and very red and shiny!

pumpkinpie01 · 23/05/2019 23:57

I didnt find out with any of my 4. After 2 boys I was secretly hoping for a girl but didn’t want to get my hopes up so convinced myself I was having a boy. After only just making it to the hospital in time a little bundle was passed to me and I remember saying ‘ is he alright ?’ And this lovely older midwife said ‘ he? I don’t think so love, look what’s missing !’ And whipped the towel back 😀 lovely moment I will never forget.

PickAChew · 23/05/2019 23:58

Graphista, are you really still ranting about people who are not really vegetarian in a completely unrelated thread?

Harveypuss · 23/05/2019 23:59

First child (a girl), we didn't want to know. A nice surprise. Second child (a boy) I wanted to know but hubby didn't. I had to attend my scan alone as hubby was working away and I asked the sex. They told me. I was so pleased to be having a boy and get one of each. I kept it secret from hubby and let him have the surprise after he was born. To this day, hubby doesn't know that I knew. I feel a bit guilty about this really but it's my guilt to deal with. I am good at keeping secrets!

ICJump · 24/05/2019 00:00

I didn’t know for any of them.

For DS2 I was so busy staring at his face and cuddling him the midwife had to ask me to check. He arrived very fast so I caught him myself and was standing so no one got a look it.
DD was crazy fast and remember being totally surprised she was a girl after 2 boys.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6