First Date, who pays?

[DreamsOfDownUnder]

So I'm going on a first date on Sunday evening for some food and drinks.

I'm planning on going dutch... I think?

What are people's opinion, man/woman pays/go dutch or do we pay for what we've had.. It's been a while since I've been one!

•@aprill men’s rights activist• Ah ok, well at least this gold digger learned something new today,so thank you

PMSL at how people always churn out the 'is it the 1950s' twaddle. Why the 1950s??? Men paid for women on dates in the 1960s too and the 1970s, and even the 1980s and 1990s, and 2000/2010s, oh and BEFORE the 1950s! Why is it always the 1950s?? So predictable and cliched.

I think whoever asked the person on the date should offer to pay, and then the other person gets it next time. If the person asked does not want to see that person again, then they should pay half.

As @formerbabe said though, men who are happy for a woman to pay/will let a woman pay, are not doing it because they think you're their 'equal' ; they are doing it to save money. You're deluded if you think he wants you to pay because he thinks your equal to him or better than him.

Amazing how many of these men who want equality, and want women to be equal and pay their own way, never seem to want the equality to continue, when it comes to pulling their weight in the house/with the housework/with the childcare.

It never ceases to amaze me how naive some women are. A man does NOT think you're equal to him, because he 'lets you pay' for your own share.

Whilst I don't think a man should automatically pay for a meal he has asked me out on; I have to say if a man got his calculator out and started splitting the bill exactly, it would be VERY off-putting. That is not the sign of a good future partner/husband IMO, and I would worry he would be as penny-pinching when we were married/had kids.

Think what you like about me thinking that/saying that. I don't care.

And re going on tinder dates/general OLD; just go for a coffee with the person you ask out FGS. You don't HAVE to go for a meal at £55 a head!

formerbabe

There's loads of men around nowadays who are tight as fuck but like to dress it up as they don't want gold diggers. Seriously, they're just average blokes not billionaires....it's totally hilarious. Women aren't that desperate for a free glass of pinot grigio cheers!

Amen to that! Some men think they're Gods and that women should bow at their feet. Many men have a massive superiority complex, and no reason to have it. The more arrogant and entitled they are, the less they generally have to offer. No wonder so many men are permanently single!

I also find it hilarious, and very entertaining how annoyed some people are getting on this thread at some women having the AUDACITY to expect a man to pay! PMSL! Just how DARE you let the feminists down you silly 1950s wimmin!?!

I suppose that's the problem with the world these days. Women campaigns for equal opportunities, equal rights and equality. Now when you're faced with the situation to be equal and perhaps express your individualism. Some believes it's the guy whose meant settle the cheque. Why exactly?!!

It never ceases to amaze me how naive some women are. A man does NOT think you're equal to him, because he 'lets you pay' for your own share.

So what are women thinking then when they expect the man to pay for them?

Split it every time.

And re going on tinder dates/general OLD; just go for a coffee with the person you ask out FGS. You don't HAVE to go for a meal at £55 a head!

But in this instance it was the OP who wanted to go out because she doesn't go out often so wanted to go somewhere nice.

I briefly had a guy want to date me. He showed me pics of his two Aston Martins and wanted me to send pics of myself naked in return. Lol.

As it happens, l went on a first date with a single parent of two. The lady was vibrant and beautiful. Even better we could converse between us and laugh our heads off.
However, when the cheque came. The total amount was about £65. Being a gentleman l ended paying £40. Unfortunately my date didn't seem pleased and she complained. This even made the second date impossible due to such behaviour...

I'd definitely split it... Wouldn't want to feel like I owe them something!

The total amount was about £65. Being a gentleman l ended paying £40

All the lolz

I would consider who can afford what.

My partner has very little spare money, I am in a position to buy dinner.

For me buying dinner for her is not a problem, for her paying half puts s big dent in her budget.

If she was richer then Me and wanted to go somewhere I couldnt afford I would be happy for her to pay.

If we go out I don't want her to worry it is affecting her budget.

A year ago I was dating a woman who was a lot richer then me and she did pay a lot of the time.

*@Dateluv did you ask her on the date or did she ask you? Who chose the venue?

I'd teach my children that if a date expects to be paid for in the first date, then it shows they are not wanting am equal but someone to finance them.

In actual fact we had met online and later agreed to meet for the first time...

PMSL at how people always churn out the 'is it the 1950s' twaddle. grin Why the 1950s??? Men paid for women on dates in the 1960s too and the 1970s, and even the 1980s and 1990s, and 2000/2010s, oh and BEFORE the 1950s! Why is it always the 1950s?? So predictable and cliched

Why aren’t these men desperate for equality over the fact women still do the vast majority of unpaid housework / childcare even when both parties work full time? 🤷‍♀️ why is it only paying for dates they want equality? Hmm

@Dateluv

I think what you did is worse than just splitting it straight down the middle. It's like you wanted to appear generous by paying more than half but it actually probably came across as really petty and insincere.

@Aprillygirl
Through experience men are now known to be sceptical when we meet women. This is due to a few women who behaves in an immoral way really!!!

Through experience men are now known to be sceptical when we meet women. This is due to a few women who behaves in an immoral way really!!

All the lolz once again

@formerbabe
I thought, l was being reasonable and considerate to a point really?!!

Being a gentleman l ended paying £40. Unfortunately my date didn't seem pleased and she complained. This even made the second date impossible due to such behaviour

😂 oh dear. She dodged a bullet.

I think how you were raised and your background tells a story in the manner you behave whilst meeting on a first date...

No...you were trying to look generous but not actually being generous.

Either split it in half

Or actually just be generous and pay the whole thing. You tried to do the very minimum necessary to look generous which is the very opposite of true generousity.

Most women aren't gold diggers...unless you are a 95 year old billionaire with multiple mansions and yachts, you really don't need to trouble yourself worrying about gold diggers... honestly.

I think how you were raised and your background tells a story in the manner you behave whilst meeting on a first date

Maybe you’re single for a reason then. I’m sorry but there’s nothing worse than a tight man. Good luck in your search for love.

Insisting on going Dutch is giving men a bad message.

I always went Dutch with my ex-husband and always spilt all household expenses in half because I thought it was “fair” and “equal”. Fast forward to after the birth of our DC - here we were in the hospital where I had just undergone major surgery, was breastfeeding, had been up all night with the baby - he had been fast asleep in the bed next to me (this was not a UK hospital). He expected to share i.e. eat half of all my hospital meals because he was too lazy to walk to the hospital cafe and felt he deserved it (men and women and fathers and mothers are equal nowadays don’t you know). I think the hospital staff felt sorry for me so started giving me double helpings, and him dirty looks.

Needless to say he expected me to return to work ASAP to do my “fair share”.