First Date, who pays?

[DreamsOfDownUnder]

So I'm going on a first date on Sunday evening for some food and drinks.

I'm planning on going dutch... I think?

What are people's opinion, man/woman pays/go dutch or do we pay for what we've had.. It's been a while since I've been one!

How come just casual isn't enough, woman are making a rod for their own backs by putting so much effort into looking cover perfect, for a first date, as that was a 1940 attitude that a man was not allowed to see the woman looking anything less than perfect.

But no one has to do that. If anyone does it when they don't want to, just to impress someone else then more fool them.

I am me. People can accept me just as I am or they can jog on. Anyone who doesn't accept me as I am is not someone that I want a relationship with.

KinderSurpriseBump Fri 24-May-19 18:24:37

It sounds like some women just wax or take care of themselves to go on a date. What if you don't have a date for years

Whats with the face. If a woman doesnt wax are you saying she isnt taking care of herself?

Or she has other priorities like paying her way on a date so she can meet the only part of feminism that suits the patriarchy.

HelenaDove was saying her friends found the cost of the predate prep to meet the men's expectations of date ready expensive....

What if you dont have a date for years

Woman living on her own shocker.

HelenaDove was saying her friends found the cost of the predate prep to meet the men's expectations of date ready expensive....

So don't do it.

I think someone should actually try going with unwaxed legs on First Dates. Watch the same viewers who castigate women on there for not paying their half (cos after all women are equal now) go into meltdown and crash Twitter with their outrage at her daring to turn up ungroomed.

#journorequest

But how would we know?

@HelenaDove whatever people consider taking care of themselves (waxing or shaving, makeup, having hair done are just examples). I was addressing the ones that feel that just because they spent money on themselves prior to the date, they are expecting the man to pay the bill.

"But how would we know?"

Because you would see it. Unless you are expecting her to rock up in a full length evening dress or thick tights.

Kinder my thing is i cant cope with my hair going grey I HATE it Im a dark brunette so it shows. I get it done every 5 weeks now when it used to be six as im almost 46 and there is more of it coming through so it shows more. I hate it. And its thick so it would take several boxes of dye to do at home. Easier to get it done in a salon and use Loreal root spray in between.

Because you would see it. Unless you are expecting her to rock up in a full length evening dress or thick tights.

You must have amazing eyesight then to be able to see leg hair, under the table, on TV. You don't see arm hair do you? Why is leg hair any different?

They usually walk up to and then into the restaurant in a short dress from what ive seen on Twitter.

This thread has descended into farce, and the OP long forgotten.

To answer the original question, OP on a first date, pay your way. Good luck on the date.

They usually walk up to and then into the restaurant in a short dress from what ive seen on Twitter.

Some wear short dress, not all, and they don't zoom in on people's legs.

This has gone beyond bizarre now.

Shave your legs, don't shave your legs. Do whatever you want. Why does it matter what anyone else thinks?

Whatever people want to do to be date ready it's their choice and their date owes them nothing.

Shave your legs, don't shave your legs. Do whatever you want. Why does it matter what anyone else thinks

Because it shows that the dating game is far from equal.

Because it shows that the dating game is far from equal.

Of course it doesn't. No one is making anyone do anything. If you allow yourself to be influenced to behave in a certain way then the only person responsible is yourself. As long as you aren't being threatened then it's your own choice to do it.

Neither I, nor my friends or even my daughter and her friends go over the top with regards to grooming. We are all clean and tidy and look presentable. Beyond that it's entirely personal choice.

Speaking of being threatened.

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/instagram-model-hairy-legs-rape-threats-arvida-bystr-m-a7987496.html

Personally I shave my legs, do my hair, wear make up, whenever I chose to do, I do it for me. I can't imagine only doing it to please a man, and as such only when going on a date.

That's sad as hell. If you don't want to do it for you then you shouldn't be doing it for some random bloke, pretending you're something you're not.

Either do it for you, or don't do it at all.

@Bluntness100 I agree

Its cant afford to Bluntness. Thats the situation for a lot of women. Its cant afford to not dont want to.

Helena, it doesn't cost much to shave your legs or use a box dye. Sure if you have issues with shaving I get you might not, but for the over whelming majority of women who don't, then personal grooming is and should be something they do for themselves and not a big expense.

No one needs to go and get their nails done, wax, go to a hairdressers for a date, no one. I'm not going to buy they can't afford personal grooming in the vast majority of cases I'm sorry.

You would mortally offend a man from my culture if you didn't let him pay!

My hair is long and thick and ive been told not to use a box dye.

Isnt it interesting how some "feminists" are very quick at denying other womens reality and experience. I go to a hairdresser for a cut and colour every few weeks for myself. Thats what i can afford on my budget. Im not putting a box dye on when ive been told its not good for my hair. And before you start with "your hairdresser would say that She wants to make money" Its £58 a time and she hasnt put up her prices since 2007.

Not all cultures are right in how they view the role of men and women.