To find Mumsnet to be very Victorian?

[Calltheguards]

I'm not sure if maybe this was always the case and I'm just slow to pick up on it but... AIBU to find Mumsnet very Victorian? It seems like a lot of people post here just to shame others and like to control/dictate behaviour. In a historical context the shame aspect reminds me of the Victorian Era with individuals gossiping amongst neighbours to join in. Flaming the OP for having feelings that are contrary to the majority seems a bit of a sport.

Is Mumsnet the technical modern age answer to Victorian Era levels of propriety and shame? I'm just posting this for discussion of an observation and wondering if this was always the point of this website.

Totally agree

Mumsnetter by and large love the state so not very Victorian st all in that respect. I think 1950s Britain comes to mind more.

Don’t completely agree,but yes there can be some very illiberal posts
Smug marrieds tend to pop up handwringing at cohabitation & separate finances
However in fairness such posts get a robust response ,and its lively mn can be a funny microcosm not seen in real life,all the husbands are 6figure earners,who can’t shop,can’t buy own clothes,and don’t do childcare
Wife work aka as fannying about is described as an endeavour superior to paid work
Having said all that,there are fantastic and funny women posting who aren’t consumed by describing kumon,school admissions and wifework

I don't find it like that particularly - can you give examples?I guess it's predominantly middle class more than averagely educated mums here and the culture reflects that but I wouldn't say it was victorian. I do think AIBU in particular can turn into a bit of a bitch fest sometimes. Once a pack have decided to pile in on the OP more and more join in just for fun and seem to get a kick out of repeating the same thing again. It would be nice if people could disagree in a supportive way - some responses aren't even trying to be helpful.

I don’t think it’s just Mumsnet, I think society as a whole has become much more judgemental and perfectionist in recent years, largely due to social media and the need to be seen as superior to others. My social media is full of vegan this, plastic-free that - everyone seems to be trying to out-virtue each other.

In terms of MN, I’ve been laughing to DH about the alcohol posts for years but on a recent thread about soft drinks someone said, without sarcasm, that they “occasionally have a can of Diet Coke but couldn’t possibly finish a whole one” which had me crying with laughter!

Couldn't agree more. Honestly some of the claims of perfect personal behaviour and therefore rights to attack an OP who has Stepped Out Of Line are just ludicrous. The standard to which people are held is impossible and the viciousness with which they're attacked for falling short show clearly what genuinely nasty pieces of work the posters doing the attacking are, and yet they seek to have no self awareness at all.

Any time I see someone post "", I just see it as meaning to shame the OP with nothing constructive behind the post. I almost never know what they mean either.

I find it very small c conservative

Yes, taken at face value AIBU posters are resolutely monogamous, unfailingly honest, in complete control of their impulses, perfect drivers, have perfectly calibrated moral compasses, perfect BMIs and are practically teetotal.

It exhausts me just reading it. It’s like a Home for the Perpetually Clenched.

Ha ha ha @Pinkarsedfly!

^Pinkarsedfly* you put that beautifully.

pinkarsedfly

I was doing so well until you threw in teetotal

It’s like a Home for the Perpetually Clenched. Belter
I genuinely think there’s a lot of embellishments and fake virtuosity
Best seen on the dinner threads,
What’s for dinner...I ate a carrot roulade,beetroot mash,and organic hedgehog. the kids are eating venison with parsley jus served with sweet potatoes

Aye,did ye?Fibber....
My kids eat fishfingers,happy faces and beans with

Don’t forget the traditional ‘huge salad’.

‘My salad was so massive I had to serve it in a skip’.

Yes!! Nice to finally read a thread with contributions from normal, fellow non-perfect people. All that superiority forced me to flounce for a while.

Bad form to mention another thread, but someone has described giving your children chocolate weetabix for breakfast as being akin to smoking.

I think society and Mumsnet is the opposite actually. Nobody must ever judge anyone and obvious twattish behaviour excused for made up reasons (perhaps he has dementia cat just died etc). The ones that make me chuckle are the ones where op recounts utterly unreasonable behaviour by a random and there’s a rush to excuse it and posters describe how they would have bought the ranting stranger a cup of tea or given them their car unlike the op whose a meanie for not doing so.

but I like large salads 😊

None of the kids play fortnite and faff about
They’re all accomplished musicians,dancers, who exist on fresh air and kale

someone has described giving your children chocolate weetabix for breakfast as being akin to smoking

Amazing! When DS2 was small he had a thing for chocolate weetabix, they were his crack. He also had a thing for refusing to wear socks and shoes, so each morning I'd whisper "if you can put on your shoes and socks you can have two of them" and chuck them at him like you'd chuck treats at a dog. Bloody worked every single day.

The stern admonishments always make me laugh. And the "I'd sit them down and say..." when describing how they would deal with a contentious situation in RL. There never seems to be any understanding that the people they dish out their bollockings to are likely to argue back and fight their corner or just bellow at them to "FRO!" There seems to be this assumption that they will all lists quietly then crawl away shame faced and grateful for the telling off if the MNetters involved are to be believed.

Don’t forget the vanity sizing police.

‘Sorry, but if you buy your size tens from M and S you’re wearing the equivalent of a Billy Smart’s Circus tent. Unfortunately for me, the High St don’t make clothes in negative sizes, so I have to time travel back to 1933 to buy my size 8s, and even then I have to buy them from Fat Lasses R Us.’

Oh I love a big salad and eat loads of them. I'm still quite chunky though.

Langrish but do you like huuuuuuge ones?

I think it's a hugely judgemental place with a very negative view of the world, relationships and lots of anti-trans handwringing (not saying there aren't problematic issues there but the obsession is odd). Everything seems to be quite negative and not very forgiving of human nature.
Having said that I read loads of threads on here so I don't know what that says about me! I'm glad my real life isn't populated by Mumsnet virtue signallers. That said there are lots of great posters on here too and I'm probably better informed about a lot of things as a result of Mumsnet.