Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 8:45 isn’t time for.....

178 replies

Babblepook · 20/05/2019 20:52

Ostentatious family garden time?

My next door neighbours seem to think it is. Every night they bring their toddler out about this time and then loudly whoop and shout joyous declarations at such things such as him kicking a ball or them all dancing in a circle clapping their hands.

It’s really annoying

OP posts:
CheshireChat · 20/05/2019 23:44

It's perfectly ok for a kid to be playing out at that time, but you just need to manage the noise a bit more carefully, partly because there's not as much background noise.

DoctorDread · 20/05/2019 23:49

I'm with you op (old and grumpy as I have teenagers!) I used to have neighbours like this and it was a problem for me because it kept my eldest awake when he was little and he got very upset and overtired as a result. I think a bit of consideration isn't too much to ask especially if the noise is coming from the parents, not the child.

ifCakesHappens · 20/05/2019 23:52

If you want to make noise, move into the middle of nowhere.
If you decide to settled in a built-in area, with neighbours, be quiet. It's not that difficult.

foreverhanging · 20/05/2019 23:52

Aw I'd hate for my neighbours to be annoyed when I'm out in the garden with dd. I chat to her all day long about nothing in particular and she talks back in her 22 month old way. I often do say yaaayyy when she does something sweet.

gnushoes · 20/05/2019 23:52

My DC never slept till way past that time and we gave up trying to fit with everyone else's social norms and went with what suited our kids and us. So we might easily have been having fun in the garden at 8.45 but we'd have kept it down if we thought other children were in bed. None of your business. Performance parenting however is bloody annoying.

CheshireChat · 20/05/2019 23:56

ifCakesHappens but 'quiet' is really relative- does it imply you completely stop using the garden at that time or just that you don't allow screaming etc?

Justbreathing · 20/05/2019 23:59

@ifCakesHappens
It’s 8.45 FFS

If you want to have mad parties till 4am
Or eve normal parties till 12
Or just be a noisy person at unsocial hours. Then YES. Move to the country.

If you want to be outside at 8.45
Then your neighbours have a problem not you.

ifCakesHappens · 21/05/2019 00:00

All my neighbours seem to have the same understanding about being quiet, so it can't be that difficult.

People use them until late - I do, but keep a low level of noise that doesn't stop anyone from falling asleep with the window opened.

CheshireChat · 21/05/2019 00:02

TBF it sounds like the OP would like the parents to hurry up and go to bed, it's not the kid that's bothering her.

ifCakesHappens · 21/05/2019 00:03

Justbreathing
you sound like a very unpleasant neighbour if you have no respect and no manners.

Justbreathing · 21/05/2019 00:08

@ifCakesHappens
I’m a lovely neighbour. I’m friends with most of my neighbours past and present.
I am friends with the neighbours that have irritated me slightly making noises.
Or who’s children have kept me up
Or who have played stupid music at a bbq loudly

I’m just a person who lives in a built up area and shrugs at the ups and downs of living in a built up area.

If I lived next door to a crack head or someone who played music till 4am regularly then it might be different.

🤷‍♂️

Justbreathing · 21/05/2019 00:10

I lived in a street once where a grumpy old man (who lived on his own) used to complain to the council at every point he could. Even at a street party.

He could of just joined the street party and met his neighbours and made friends.

Bitterness gets you nowhere in life.

2toddlers · 21/05/2019 07:17

My god a family enjoying their garden with their child at the ungodly hour of 8.45pm!! They most certainly are tiring him out and having half an hour together as a family.

My 3 and nearly 2 year old aren’t in bed at that time, it’s even worse at the moment with the light nights. Last night my 3 year old was out on the trampoline at about 8.30pm, she’d had a late nap after being up very early. It never crossed my mind that she might be offending the neighbours. I love this time of year for being able to enjoy our garden. Thank goodness our neighbours are family friendly and wouldn’t dream of moaning about a child in their own garden in the evening.

If I was 11pm you might have a point, but it’s not.

NoSauce · 21/05/2019 07:30

See the ageism is still going.

It’s really not about children having fun in the garden, nobody would deny or dislike that. But if you’re sat with your window open or your back door, relaxing and all you can hear is next door booming

“ RUFUS SUCH MARVELLOUS CARTWHEELS, DO ANOTHER FOR MUMMY” or whatever, it would get on your nerves.

I’m sure we all have stuff that annoys us that we just ignore.

LaurieMarlow · 21/05/2019 08:01

What a load of nasty fuckers on thread. Hmm

A family enjoying their garden at 8.45. It’s not exactly late is it? But the begrudging fuckers are out in force.

LaurieMarlow · 21/05/2019 08:02

RUFUS SUCH MARVELLOUS CARTWHEELS, DO ANOTHER FOR MUMMY” or whatever, it would get on your nerves

So they’re talking and engaging with their child? In their own back garden?

What monumental cunts.

Soubriquet · 21/05/2019 08:03

8.45...and loud shouting?!!

I would be pissed.

Both of my two (6 and 4) are in bed and my partner has to be up at 4am so would be in bed too.

Play outside if you want, but you don’t need to be whooping and shouting

NoSauce · 21/05/2019 08:06

LaurieMarlow sounds like they weren’t just talking but shouting to me.

Who wants to listen to that every night Smile

kaytee87 · 21/05/2019 08:09

Performance parenting in their own garden?! Give it a rest.

my2bundles · 21/05/2019 08:17

It's not late. My kids play in their own garden untill 9pm weekdays and 10 pm weekends in good weather. If it was 11 pm at night I could see your point but at this time you are being unreasonable.

Yabbers · 21/05/2019 08:37

Would you rather they had the toddler inside watching TV?

Parents playing with children in their garden is perfectly fine. They seem to be having fun, and you have problem with that?

crazyasafox · 21/05/2019 09:22

@LaurieMarlow

What a load of nasty fuckers on thread. Hmm

A family enjoying their garden at 8.45. It’s not exactly late is it?

You sound very angry and rude. People are not on about people enjoying their garden at 8.45pm, they are on about neighbours being screechy, shouty, and wailing at that time!

And to people who have a job, a family screeching and yelling at almost 9pm on a weeknight IS a pain in the arse, because some people have kids under 8 who are in bed by 8pm, and some have to be up early for work. (Some people have BOTH scenarios to contend with!)

It's very selfish of you to think it's OK to upset others with late night noise, just because YOU don't have to be up for work and can lie in.

You sound like the people the OP is on about. I would rather be a 'nasty fucker' than someone who is 'entitled' and gives zero shits about anyone else, and tells them to 'get over it' if their squealing and inconsiderate shouty parents bellowing at 9pm is pissing them off.

And as for the 'move to a big open space in the country' if you don't want to hear neighbours as a few other posters have said; yeaaaaahh, coz it's SO easy for people to do that, because homes in the country are soooooooo cheap. Hmm

And I think many removal firms, and solicitors, and estate agents, work for free now! Hmm

As @ifCakeHappens, said if you want to behave like noisy louts and have your family screaming and shouting and squealing into the night, maybe YOU should move to a big wide open space away from anyone else.

Some people on this thread! Hmm

As I said, I used to live in an area with noisy, bellowing, screechy neighbours - the adults AND the kids, and I moved to get away from it. Don't get that problem now, as it's a different kind of area, with different type of people living here.

LaurieMarlow · 21/05/2019 09:29

8.45 is not late. I don’t think anyone would bat an eye at older children in their garden at that time.

And it doesn’t sound like they were doing anything more than enjoying their garden, playing, interacting with their child. God forbid.

Thankfully I don’t live in the UK. I’m in Ireland where people generally speaking don’t begrudge fairly innocuous behaviour like this.

NoSauce · 21/05/2019 09:44

Nobody begrudges children playing in their garden. It’s what happens in summer. People however are allowed to be miffed at loud, noisy adults playing in the garden though. It’s not like the OP said anything, she was just venting on MN.

Like I’m sure all of you have done over innocuous things.

Mammatino · 21/05/2019 09:48

Don't mind kids out enjoying the garden at all, I mind noise so loud I can't have a window open and be comfortable in my own home... Let alone sit in my garden. We used to live in a street full of people who let their kids run riot till all hours. We moved to a better area, the kids are out racing about in the new street or their gardens until around 7/7.30 when they are brought in to get ready for bed. My lovely new neighbours have a toddler and I often hear him gurgling away having a lovely time but I don't hear his parents shrieking at the tops of their voices because he belly flopped into the ball pit. I just think if everyone could just bear in mind there are other people in the world and think how things impacted on others then it would save an awful lot of nastiness.

Swipe left for the next trending thread