To go and pick DD up from school?

[Whitegrenache]

Posting here for quick response

Dd aged 13 in yr 8 has some occasional issues with the friendship group she is in - nothing major but spats from time to time and the ring leader (lets call her C) seems like a queen bee type - she also seems to have some mental health issues , Panic attacks and recurring abscence from school (according to DD)

Anyway it started again in Friday - then continued over weekend via Snapchat - usual teenage goings on.

DD is a resilient kid who over the weekend came off snap chat as she couldn't be bothered with all the hassle (her decision)
Anyway I have just had a text from her asking me to pick her up from school as C is upsetting her and calling her names.

What on earth do I do?

I don't want to get her as this is not the way to deal with problems

Do I ring the school?

*which is awful for a 13 year old

The issue is that ALL the girls were saying it about girl C not just your dd, and they have used this as an excuse to isolate her, and call her horrible names. Nice!

Whether C will be the first or last to lose her V, they were only chatting, they were not calling C horrible names as far as I can say. My friends and I would have the conversation over and over again.

Does your dd have other friends to hang out with? If she can, she needs to drop this toxic group and move on. Once the squad has turned in itself like this, the friendships tend to die a death. I would encourage her to invite new friends over this weekend, and make inroads into changing groups. I hope she is okay.

*Notabesofroses
*
Thanks for your response - this is my take in it-whilst I have told dd the conversation they all had was not kind - it seems one of the other girls decided to tell C via text at break (c was off sick) the next day the entire group bar 1 totally ignored dd and when asked about it via the teacher they all denied saying it together.

I have totally encouraged dd to move away from them and luckily she has an amazing set of mates (boys and girls) out of school through a sport she does who have a great friendship and never have a cross word

Forgot to mention their is a girl sticking with dd but is not taking sides either but ensuring that dd is not alone and is supported

She sounds like an angel

See I believe this is bullying.

None of them cover themselves in glory for the original conversation but it was a group of girls having the immature conversations teens have.

To actively ostracise one for the actions of a group is bullying by exclusion.
And the other girl used a personal attack on a feature which doesn't make it any better.

Glad your dd is being mature about it though.

White The girl that has stood by your dd has clearly seen through all of this, and that is very telling. What a good friend she is! She is putting herself on the line a little too, with the other girls. Glad for your dd that she has at least one decent friend out of the group.

Girls can be awful to each other, I have dds and it is non stop atm.

Friends outside school are a saviour aren't they! Keep an eye on things, hopefully it will die down after half term when they have all had a break.

Hope your dd is okay