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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To fancy a teacher at my sons school?

163 replies

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 18:45

Any teachers out there? What's the deal?

Said teacher is single, I feel like it's a mutual thing, I really don't know.

Is there a policy on teacher/parent dating?

OP posts:
Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 10:34

@SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc - I thought about it for a second, but I wouldn't do it.

@OhDearGodLookAtThisMess - well that's that then I guess! A massive no. I need to just get him out of my head.

OP posts:
Fizzysours · 20/05/2019 10:42

As a teacher in further ed I had a couple of adult males flirt with me...it made me super uncomfortable and I think it is icky in your situation too. Let the guy just do his job. If it's meant to be, maybe you will bump into each other in years to come.

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 10:44

@Fizzysours - exactly. I've never openly flirted with him. I'm very aware that I'm stood in a school playground and he's at work.

OP posts:
jameswong · 20/05/2019 10:46

Just ask him out ffs!

"Nice weather. You and your partner must be off somewhere nice this weekend..."

"Oh I don't have a partner"

"OH REALLY?"

Done. If he says "Yeah, Susan and I will be in the garden" then no harm done.

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 10:55

@jameswong I love that. Can you do it or me?! 😉

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 20/05/2019 11:08

Lol. Glad you were joking about the school play. Having a crush does no harm, I am glad it has raised your confidence.
It is just a little crush, he may have verucas, athletes foot and a tiny penis, it would be very awkward then. Grin

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 11:12

@EmeraldShamrock haha. He may well have all those things, I'll keep telling myself that.

Some days I can hardly make eye contact with him, I just feel like my face will give it away. So I'm not sure he even suspects a thing. I don't collect DS everyday as I work.

OP posts:
lunicorn · 20/05/2019 11:15

Are you not researching him online? My advice would be to either leave it, or play it very slow as you have over a year until your son leaves.

TheFastandCurious · 20/05/2019 11:16

I married my son’s teacher. My son begged me not to as he was really awful to him. But my happiness comes first. My son hates walking into the kitchen in the morning and seeing ‘Sir’ sitting there in his small and dressing gown.

TheFastandCurious · 20/05/2019 11:18

Just kidding. Don’t do it. It’s a really bad idea. Can you imagine?!!

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 11:25

@lunicorn - I've had a quick look online but there isn't much. That makes me like him even more because I have zero social media!

@ParrotWithACarrot - haha. Yes, mama deserves happiness too, so just deal with it! 😉. I doubt I'll act on it.

OP posts:
TheFastandCurious · 20/05/2019 11:33

In all seriousness it depends on the set up. As long as he isn’t his actual teacher or could possibly be in the future. As long as it’s kept discrete and casual, it could possibly work. If your son is leaving I would take PP advice and do some research first. Then if all is ok after...why not?

jameswong · 20/05/2019 11:34

Ha! Could you imagine coming home to the sound of Mr. Smith absolutely pounding your mother? Scarred for life!

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 12:57

@ParrotWithACarrot - we will see.

OP posts:
Theclearing · 20/05/2019 13:08

Jesus jameswong pass the brain bleach after that phrasing! Grin

Seriously, volunteer. Then while you are manning the sausage sizzle or whatever (fnarr) you will be able to tell if he beelines to chat to you or your eyes lock over the bran tub or whatever, or if he marches past with nothing more than a ‘splendid effort, Mrs Mate, keep it up!’ then ignores you completely.

You’ll be able to have a nice normal people chat and drop in a few openers like ‘oh I love going walking at the x local attraction when little mate’sdad has him’ or ‘can’t wait to see that play’.

If he jumps for it he jumps for it! But you need the middle ground between abandoning all hope and propositioning him at pick up Grin

fghkhfdryjkv · 20/05/2019 13:10

I think the idea of joining online dating and sussing out if he comes up is a good idea.

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 13:21

@Theclearing thank you for your advice.

It's nice to have some middle ground so I don't feel completely inappropriate for fancying him! There's just such a attraction, maybe it is just on my part. Maybe I've read into everything! I should get volunteering. I'm sure the school will have a summer fete or something - I'll scope about. When I bumped into him he said he was just calling to get something so 'I can do nothing when I get home' - I just get the feeling he's single. I know he could say that anyway, even if he had a wife and kids!

OP posts:
Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 13:31

@fghkhfdryjkv - where would I start? I can't imagine him being on Tinder. He seems quite unassuming. I'm not even sure he would be into online dating.

OP posts:
Bumbalaya · 20/05/2019 13:38

No. Just No.

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 14:11

@Bumbalaya - Oooh such mixed reviews!

OP posts:
Arghhhhhhh12r · 20/05/2019 14:29

Have you looked him up on Facebook? Try that first, might give away if he's single on his profile info or pictures, etc.

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 14:31

Yeah but it's on lockdown (presumably because of his job) and only a pic of him in prof image.

OP posts:
Arghhhhhhh12r · 20/05/2019 14:35

Oh, shame! Worth a try anyway.

I'm joining the "why the hell not, you only live once" camp, for what it's worth. :-)

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 14:38

@Arghhhhhhh12r - oh I love it haha. I wouldn't have the nerve anyway. But it's nice to know all hope isn't lost!

OP posts:
Susiedog · 20/05/2019 14:51

If you're both single then I don't get what the issue is.
Teachers are people. People fall in love.
Teacher doesn't teach your child, and even if they did I don't see a problem. Surely it's no different than a parent teaching their own child? (which is the case at our school).
I say go for it. Life's too short.