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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To fancy a teacher at my sons school?

163 replies

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 18:45

Any teachers out there? What's the deal?

Said teacher is single, I feel like it's a mutual thing, I really don't know.

Is there a policy on teacher/parent dating?

OP posts:
Jellycat1 · 20/05/2019 08:33

But your child only has another year at the school? So maybe in the future ..... you never know!

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 08:59

@Jellycat1 true. I guess if it's meant to be it will find a way xx

OP posts:
outvoid · 20/05/2019 09:01

Such an awful idea. Think of your child, if word gets out in the school they will be crucified.

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:04

@outvoid I mean I wouldn't broadcast it. No one would need to know really.

OP posts:
Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:04

@outvoid but I know what you're saying.

OP posts:
jameswong · 20/05/2019 09:06

There's a part missing here. The teachers on here telling you "no" are women. The teacher you are talking about is a man.

So.....

Theclearing · 20/05/2019 09:09

Start volunteering at school or at pta next year when your child is in last year, then you’ll see. (I mean don’t throw yourself at him over the nativity play obvs).

If you help at this year’s summer fete/barbecue it gives you a chance to chat to him naturally etc, plus the school gets a volunteer, everyone wins!

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:10

True @jameswong. I just don't want to embarrass him, me and of course my child. I'm just so attracted to him. Also because my child had been at the school for years, I've seen how he is and he's so lovely. Wish I could just not like him!

OP posts:
Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:12

@Theclearing - that's good idea actually. That's why I didn't ask him out when I saw him he other day. I didn't want to come across really 'in your face' because I'm not like that really. I'm outgoing but wouldn't just put someone on the spot like that.

OP posts:
Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:13

@Theclearing I might just think 'sod it' and end up throwing myself at him at the next school play! 🙈

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 20/05/2019 09:18

I am with the crowd no way, you have built up this fantasy in your head, you know it now.
It is not a bad thing, he has probably put a spring in your step, gave you a boost, some extra lippy and hairbrush at pick up time. Grin
Use the confidence to build up yourself, still choose your next partner wisely, it must be mating season. Wink
Enjoy it for what it was.

EmeraldShamrock · 20/05/2019 09:21

I might just think 'sod it' and end up throwing myself at him at the next school play! Are you joking?
He probably has a partner, you probably are not the first DM to fall for him, thread careful, you'll scare him.
Think of parent teacher meeting. Blush
Keep it professional.
Your kid will be mortified.

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:29

@EmeraldShamrock - yes I really was joking 🙄. Like I said earlier. I'm just going to leave it be

OP posts:
Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:31

@EmeraldShamrock and yes you are absolutely right. It he give me a bit of a spring in my step and a little boost at pick up time. It's been a horrible break up with my ex. And this guy, he just seems so nice and the complete opposite. I'll take it for what it is.

OP posts:
Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:32

And I probably have built it up on my head. I kinda knew that. That's why I haven't acted on it.

OP posts:
IrmaFayLear · 20/05/2019 09:35

You have not mentioned whether he is single. You said you've been seeing him at school for years - all that time he's had no girlfriend... or even wife? I would conduct a bit of research before making a move or you could be really embarrassed.

Theclearing's idea about volunteering is a good one - even if you have a full-time job. Take an afternoon off to help at the school fete then you can hurl yourself in his path.

I fancy dd's English teacher. He is very attractive. After parents' evening the man was six inches taller after one kid said rather boldly, "My mum thinks you're hot," and then loads of others joined in agreeing that their mums had gone all silly over him. All married people, but matrimony (and age...) does not mean you've lost your eyesight!

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:37

You're right. I don't even know for 100% if he is single to be honest. Apparently the kids all wind him up because he 'hasn't got a girlfriend'. But I guess that's not a legit source.

OP posts:
Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:38

He doesn't wear a wedding ring. I know that much. But I KNOW some men don't.

OP posts:
BigusBumus · 20/05/2019 09:38

My mum (who was widowed) dated one of my teachers when i was at school. Didn't bother me at all!

I don't understand the hesitation tbh.

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:43

Thanks @BigusBumus - such mixed views. Glad it didn't bother you. x

OP posts:
keepingbees · 20/05/2019 09:45

I wouldn't go there personally, I couldn't be doing with the gossip it would stir up (small cliquey school) or the potential awkwardness if it all went wrong. But that's not to say you shouldn't if you're happy with it.
I agree you need to do some research first. A smile means nothing sorry, I'm sure he smiles politely at all the parents. Absence of a ring also means nothing. He might have told the children he has no girlfriend because he has a boyfriend, who knows.
Just make sure you can deal with any potential knock backs before you do anything, and also remember you'll still have to face him at the school afterwards.
But good luck to you if you do decide to ask him out Smile

ForalltheSaints · 20/05/2019 09:45

A male view. As with the women on here, just no.

Original poster
askingforamate · 20/05/2019 09:48

Thanks for your honest advice all. It is helpful and confirms my thought that I just need to get over it. Can't believe I feel like this in my 30's. Ridiculous really.

OP posts:
SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 20/05/2019 09:53

Cant you add him on Facebook and send him a message?

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 20/05/2019 09:53

FFS, what the hell is all this "go for it" business?
Of COURSE this is a no-no. He could quite possibly find himself in big trouble at school for lack of professionalism. I don't care how many tales there are on here of people who claim to know people who've done it, it's absolutely not on on ANY level. We have to fill in a disclosure form at school, listing any potential conflicts of interest with people connected to the school. This would be a massive "conflict of interest," albeit of a non-monetary kind.