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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To fancy a teacher at my sons school?

163 replies

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 18:45

Any teachers out there? What's the deal?

Said teacher is single, I feel like it's a mutual thing, I really don't know.

Is there a policy on teacher/parent dating?

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Original poster

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 19:20

DC is 10

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Original poster

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 19:21

@Postmissposte - so it does happen! Love that she asked him out at parents evening 💕

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Original poster

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 19:22

@VirginiaWolfHall - oh maybe I'm not as crazy as I thought.

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reefedsail · 19/05/2019 19:23

If he doesn't- and never will- teach your child I think it's fine as long as you keep it well away from school.

That's the problem though. How would you develop it on without having to make all the initial moves at school?

NaomifromMilkshake · 19/05/2019 19:23

I used to fancy the arse of the Deputy Head at my sons school, but then so did he wife, but by God he was handsome, so so so easy on the eye. We got on really well so I did get to chat to him quite a bit.

The head of year 9 is also extremely handsome and lives nearby, but that is easy I know his mother and he is only thirty something.

In my case just because you are on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.

Misses the point of the thread entirely....

optimisticpessimist01 · 19/05/2019 19:23

Teacher here, the thought would never enter my mind in a million years. I sometimes find a few dad's attractive but that's as far as it ever goes

Plus your son would be mortified!

Sorry OP, I feel for you, but its a no from me

sonjadog · 19/05/2019 19:24

Is he ever going to be your child's teacher? How long does your child have left in the school?

If he is going to be your child's teacher, then no, I wouldn't go there. If he isn't, then why not? Be aware that he might just be being friendly because you are a parent at his school rather than because he is interested in a private connection. So tread carefully so you don´t end up feeling foolish...

Icandothisallday · 19/05/2019 19:24

No one is saying it doesnt happen. I am sure it does.

But some or us wouldnt risk it.

Firstly he could say no. Mortified.

You could have a few dates and one of you fucks the other of after a ahirt relationship.

Its your kids school and their space. They may not be very happy about it.

Life is too short. To short to risk upsetting my child, because teacher smiled at me a few times.

Cottonwoolmouth · 19/05/2019 19:25

I actually don’t see the problem - however he has to make the first move otherwise it would be very embarrassing if he was just being friendly! Oh the shame!

Obviously you need to check to see if other mums are flicking their hair, licking there lips ect.. when he appears as you may have competition

Strawberry2017 · 19/05/2019 19:25

Your child is leaving the school soon anyway. What's the harm really?
Life is short. Go for it but accept it might be pretty embarrassing if he rejects you and you have to see him until your child leaves school!

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/05/2019 19:25

oh maybe I'm not as crazy as I thought.

Denial is a wonderful thing.

Just keep it in your head, where it belongs. If all you do is look at each other and smile, what on earth was your plan?

ASauvignonADay · 19/05/2019 19:26

From working in a school.. no way! I would never get involved with a parent, too risky. We do eye up some of the nice looking dads at parents eve though...

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/05/2019 19:26

he has to make the first move otherwise it would be very embarrassing if he was just being friendly

And he's being hit on at work, which is awful.

BackT · 19/05/2019 19:28

I had an "affair" (we were both single) with one of the staff at DDs school. She was in yr 1 at the time. She still doesn't know.

It didn't end well though and one of the other parents found out and accused him of favouritism etc and being unprofessional.

I don't advise it 😬

Pieceofpurplesky · 19/05/2019 19:28

How do you know he is single. You have never spoken to him? Just a few smiles?

woodcutbirds · 19/05/2019 19:29

I noticed one of DS1's teahcer was incredibly easy on the eye at parents' evening. Then DS told me 'He's the weird one I told you about,' and told me lots of very strange (but entirely harmless) things about him that put me right off.

Original poster

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 19:31

I don't have a plan because I wouldn't ask him out at school. Like another poster said, he'd have to do the asking. I appreciate it's his place of work and wouldn't do anything to embarrass either of us. I find him attractive. I've not acted on it. No one has been made a fool of. So I'll just leave it as is. Thanks for all our advice.

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CupOhTea · 19/05/2019 19:31

Hmmmmm tricky. Personally, no, I wouldn't ask him out. If he said no it would be super embarrassing at pick up etc. But, I do get the whole life's too short argument too... Tricky!

Original poster

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 19:33

@CupOhTea - exactly and if the feeling was mutual I'm sure he'd do something about it. So probably isn't mutual like others have pointed out.

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Jellycat1 · 19/05/2019 19:34

How long does your son have left at the school?

Original poster

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 19:35

Rest of this year and next.

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Original poster

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 19:41

@sonjadog - I'm not sure as the teachers move round each year.

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ImposterSyndrome101 · 19/05/2019 19:46

My sister dated my high school english teacher. Massive age gap between us so he was the same age as her. It was interesting coming down stairs sunday morning finding him and my sister there because they'd arranged to come take me and mum out for breakfast. Downright mortifying when he announced at the end of english to remember he was taking me home because mum was busy and it didn't make sense for my sister to make the journey when he was going there anyway. They broke up when I was in my final year and he was still as nice to me as he was to everyone else

KnobZombie7 · 19/05/2019 19:47

Nothing wring with fancying him, nothing wrong with having a short/ long relationship with him either, just don't make the first move.
I'm guessing, however, that he won't make a move either though. At least not on school grounds. It could be seen as unprofessional if the head/ colleagues found out.
Flirt, if it's reciprocated, and one day you may bump into each other away from school...see what happens.
...life is too short to disregard this...

Original poster

askingforamate · 19/05/2019 19:47

@ImposterSyndrome101 - he sounds like a nice guy. I guess it can work when everyone is grown up about it.

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