To be annoyed by anti-Alabama posts?

[Bere111]

For context, I’m not prolife or pro choice...i wouldn’t have an abortion myself but I know that largely because I’ve never been in those desperate circumstances, so equally would never judge someone who had.
But all the anti-Alabama posts I’ve seen this week by women in the UK I find pretty ill informed.
For example, most not knowing it is still banned in Northern Ireland- part of the UK.
Also, people saying it’s ‘healthcare’ - I don’t believe this is true. I think it should be a crisis service, and making it sound routine trivialises it for me.
People saying it’s a women choice...again I don’t really think this is right. It’s a women choice to get pregnant or not get pregnant of course, but unless that girl or women fell pregnant through no choice of their own (in which can of course she should have access to abortion) I’m not sure once she’s actually pregnant she should then just be free to opt in or opt out.
I fell pregnant by accident with ds1, I was very newly married, had a well paid job and owned a house but was younger then I’d planned to be (27)- yet I had 3 people ask ‘god, what are you going to do???’ Which I found bizarre.
Most people’s opinion of abortion (including mine!) is formed on the fact that for those that are victims of rape or incest, or the health of the mother or baby is in question, or for example the mother is under 18 or even under 21, the time they need to have a safe solution to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.
However, I know that only about 3% of abortion happen for the reason above. The rest the nhs classify as lifestyle factors.
I’m sure many women may be masking issues by telling the motivating reason for the termination is just a lifestyle factor, but even so I still think many, many abortion take place because of poor planning and poor timing.
I’ve had 2 close friends have terminations in our late 20s, both of which went on to have children with the same partner a few years later. Although I supported their choice, I didn’t really understand it. They were both preoccupied with the idea that the timing wasn’t right- even though they wanted children and wanted children with the current partners.
I think we put far to much pressure of ourselves that we have to do things in the right order- so then when a pregnancy comes along that wasn’t on the timeline, we freak out- even if we are perfectly capable of parenting at that time.
I also think something most be going wrong with how we are approaching contraception, especially as the fastest growing segment of women needing abortion are 30+ and have ahead previous abortions. Can women not access contraception easily or could giving more education around ovulation cycles help this (this is pretty common place in countries like Germany from secondary school age, and women generally avoid sex when they’re ovulating- even when using another form of contraception)
I guess all in all I think it’s a really complex matter- and I don’t think we have it totally right in this country, and I find it a trivialisation to see my friends sharing handmaid tale’s pictures with ‘my body my choice’ tag lines...surely when a matter really is life or death, we shouldn’t simplify it as a women’s prerogative?
Or AIBU?

Sheettent, if that is aimed at me, I am not saying you shouldn’t talk about it.

I am saying that the reason many people don’t talk about abortion, miscarriage and even pregnancy is not because they disapprove of any of these things.

I don’t think people are as open as you think, and also wondered how you managed to find the time to tell 17 people- were you having our leaflets or something?

Wow. Vicious

Sorry, can now see it was in answer to something else. Did not mean to derail.

@Endofthedays no worries

This world is shit enough at times without forcing a chunk of the population to be miserable.
How can anyone be pro-life and fight so hard for the rights of a foetus, but literally stop giving a shit once the child is born? How can you care so much about the wellbeing of a foetus but not of a child?
Earlier, when asked if she would adopt all the unwanted babies, Pinky said no because it's not her responsibility...so if it's not your responsibility to care for the children, why do you care for the foetus? When does one stop being the other? Why are they so precious and protected inside the womb but on the outside you will wash your hands?
This is why I hope I never have a girl.

It's really not a complex issue.
My body, my choice.

Don't really know where the complexities lie there?

@Myworstnightmare123

Wow. Vicious

Yep. Op showing her true colours.

I don’t think abortion is liberating these women, it’s giving a short term solution to a long term problem

Eh? How is abortion a "short term solution"?? It's pretty permanent actually

Your posts are making less and less sense, OP.

YABU, very.

I had two abortions, one when I was raped and one which is none of your business. Yes, I deeply regret the second one but that's none of your business either; it's my load to carry and I do.

When you try to compare the NHS regs on IVF with their regs on termination, you just make yourself ridiculous. One will have enormous implications and responsibilities for many years on society itself, and the child, the other doesn't.

Frankly, we are overpopulated too. So abortion would actually be doing the world more good than bad.

Well your post is going to attract a lot of attention, think you know that already. It is very clear what side on the fence you sit on despite you stating your neither pro life or pro choice.

I don't think I could personally go through with an abortion and I think the limit in the uk should be drastically reduced from 24 weeks. I do however absolutely believe that every woman has a right to decide whether she wants to continue with a pregnancy. No form of contraception is 100% safe. No child should be brought in to the world by a parent or parents that don't really want it.

I think most people do know that it was against the law in Northern Ireland as it's been in the press a lot especially since it became legal in Republic of Ireland.

I think the law in Alabama is disgusting. Even if you are raped you're not allowed an abortion. So a 12 yr old girl being sexually abused should be forced to give birth to a child. It's so so wrong!

For women to be free they need to be able to choose how many children they have and when they have them.

I don't think it's a coincidence that when women had many many pregnancies they had less rights. They must have been so worn out from constantly giving birth.

So we need

1. Protection from being forced into sex
2. Effective contraception

But rape is common and inadequately prosecuted. Contraception does not always work. So women also need early and safe access to abortion in order to be free.

Also even wanted pregnancies can go horribly wrong with dreadful medical complications for either the woman or baby and women need to be able to make choices about that too without their doctors or themselves being constrained by the fear of prosecution.

It seems odd to judge the lack of critical thinking you think you detect in the posts you disprove of when you haven’t even noticed that your experience is not representative of all women. That you haven’t even noticed you are not in fact ‘on the fence’ at all.

I grew up in a country in Europe, in a time when abortions were forbidden. And so was contraception. Doctors and nurses went to prison for doing abortions, some were doing it for money, some ... because they knew that if they wouldn't do them, the women will try to do "something" on their own to cause the miscarriage, or will try to find someone, anyone, to do it for them, in whichever way it was possible. My parents were doctors, I could hear them talking in the evenings, when they thought the children, were asleep. This is how I found out how women who came to hospital miscarrying were treated like criminals until it was established they "didn't do anything" to cause it. How so many doctors and nurses tried their best "to cover" any suspicious miscarriage. In certain places, when a woman came/was brought to the hospital with a botched abortion the hospital had to inform the authorities and the doctors were not allowed to treat her until the authorities were satisfied she had told "everything": who did it, where, when, how much etc. Sometimes the treatment came too late. Tens of thousands of women had died or ended up mutilated, tens of thousands of children grew up without their mothers, hundreds of thousands of children grew up unwanted, a lot of them in horrible conditions. Gilead was inspired by reality. Which is why I am pro choice.

They were never able to ban abortions. They never are, and never will. The only abortions that were/are/will be banned are the safe ones.

They are killing something, even at an early stage, that would've more than likely eventually become someone. A human being. With a brain and a heart and a personality and a life.

What's that got to do with anything? Every time a couple uses a condom, they are blocking a pregnancy. The egg that the woman produced that month will simply be flushed out of her. By your logic, "they are killing something, even at an early stage, that would've more than likely eventually become someone. A human being. With a brain and a heart and a personality and a life."

Similarly, every time a man ejaculates, he is killing sperm cells. Even if one of them fertilises an egg, the others will all die. By your logic, he is "killing something, even at an early stage, that would've more than likely eventually become someone. A human being. With a brain and a heart and a personality and a life."

I think the limit in the uk should be drastically reduced from 24 weeks

I see this a lot even from pro choice. I used to agree until I discovered a pregnancy far too late for me to abort. I have now been through a forced birth.

I think ‘early as possible, late as necessary’ is right.

I had an abortion at 9 weeks.
I'm not sad about it.
I'm not ashamed of it.
I don't care if others consider it human life.
I'd have another tomorrow if I needed it.
And the month after that.
And the month after that.

Mind your own fucking uteruses.

Of course those thousands of sperm per ejaculation would not have become a person.
There is a clear difference between a fertilised egg and an unfertilised egg or a sperm. Only the tiniest percentage of sperm can ever make it to be a human. And a small percentage of eggs. A foetus is a tiny human already. Do nothing, and it will probably be born.

It certainly isn't a short term solution to a long term problem, more like the other way around!

If I had gone on to continue the pregnancy I had with my narcissistic abuser of an ex, I would have had to continue to have him in my life and would never be able to get away from him after I found the courage to finally end it after several attempts.

My ex didn't give a fuck about his existing DC and he had a pattern of love bombing, going through the loving protective phase of his pregnant partner then once the baby is born and reality sets with real life and routine he gets bored and moves on. Then the woman is left to bring up his kid who he rarely sees and doesn't pay for. Thst would have been me! I would have been left to bring up his kid and my two existing DC (who weren't his and who's father is a good dad) would have suffered because mum wouldn't had had as much time or money for them because she's too busy bringing up another child with no help for it's father like his exes are doing!

So it most certainly was a long term solution to a short term problem!

You have no concept of what it is like to be in that position so stuff your opinion and your privilege

Yes it should never be used as a contraceptive but to take away everyone's rights because of a rare few is unquestionably wrong

I don’t think abortion is liberating these women, it’s giving a short term solution to a long term problem - that again looking at the data - they will likely need to access again because their circumstances aren’t changing.

Please stop making vague, sweeping statements. What do you actually mean here?

If your point is that many women who access abortions are poor & socially disadvantaged then you’re right, but how does forced birth help them? Who benefits from the experience being made more difficult, stressful and unpleasant for them?! You, because it eases your conscience to think that at least if a woman has an abortion she will be made to feel terrible about it?

to act like terminating human pregnancies is no big deal, is bizarre and worrying.

It isn't necessarily a big deal, actually. Abortions performed correctly by appropriately qualified medical staff aren't inherently traumatic and scary, the emotions associated with the procedure are applied by the individual. For instance, prior to my abortion, I'd heard the lie peddled by the so-called pro life lobby that it was a terrible process that caused mental scars for life for all. It wasn't for me and I doubt I'm in a minority on this. When I woke up after my procedure I felt overwhelming relief, and was surprised at how calm I felt. Ofcourse, that's not the way for everyone - another lady woke up from the procedure in a cubicle near mine and I heard her burst into tears. Of course, her circumstances would have been different to mine. What I'm trying to say is the procedure itself doesn't have to be a big deal, the emotional response depends on the circumstances of the individual.

A foetus is a tiny human already.

THIS IS NOT A FACT. YOUR OPINIONS SHOULD NOT HAVE A BEARING ON WHAT OTHER WOMEN DO WITH THEIR BODIES.

I don’t think the op is being unfair.
All those saying it is their body and they can do what they like with it are the ones being unfair!
If a mother decides to kill her 1 year old child, that is murder, however if she decides to kill her 20 week foetus that’s fine?
IMO (and I am entitled to have my opinion) both are alive and both should be given the opportunity to survive!

@HBStowe

How does forced abortion help them either? Ultimately they’re forced to make a decision to terminate based on a lack of resources.

A woman is a grown human already.