Accent, class and feeling like a fish out of water

[fishoutofwine]

Have name changed as moan about this a irl and think combined with my other posts would put me.

However, in the last year have moved to a very “of money” up market area (sort of imagine Hampstead garden suburb but not).

I have found that thanks so my strong accent and penchant for wearing ordinary clothes seems to be setting me ok a back foot.

I know some of this may be my own insecurities however habe had issues such as - neighbour in gazillion pound house assuming that when I said no to her builders using my garden for a loo talking slowly and patiently to me like I’m an idiot, when walking my dog around the local area other dog walkers asking if I’ve come far (quite enjoy pointing and saying “no I live there” and just low lever snobbery.

While fully aware that this is to some degree a nice problem to have, it does make me feel like crap (and like moving back to my perfectly nice area I was before).

I guess it’s more wwyd and how can I deal with it.

@ohiseeyou May I suggest remedial comprehension lessons for you. Also it appears that you have a little difficulty with the definition of grammar - I’d suggest that my op was more a case of “tough to comprehend” (thanks to a mixture of wine, crappy phone and no glasses), as opposed to littered with grammatical errors.

Just thinking about it...I reckon some posh wealthy people are just quite entitled and don't think...or just think they can do as they like (hence the portal thing)- it's probably not a reflection on you but just an example of that. So you just need to say no (as you seem to have done)-

We had something similar in our similar area- this property developer woman who was so flipping entitled and rude- made a lot of noise and mess, and when we said anything told us we should be happy as she was doing up this property and raising the prices further in the area!

You get rude people everywhere OP, take no notice, just stand your ground.

Also the ones saying have you come far?- well that could just be a polite comment and small talk, I get this sometimes too...my husband on the other hand with his (English) accent had - "Get tae feck, back off home with you, ye English feck" in my home town...would that be, em, preferable?

"Get tae feck, back off home with you, ye English feck" in my home town...would that be, em, preferable?
Perhaps not

My mind’s boggled that your neighbour would ask to park her portaloos in your garden rather than their own

As it doesn’t sound like some of these people are potential friends then I’d work on perfecting a whimsical smile “I really don’t think so” or a hard stare. Act as though their unwelcome observations are really alien and it’s them who should be on the back foot, not you.

The portaloos thing was a bit crazy - there were spurious reasons, but none of them made me feel like giving up a section of my front garden for someone else’s portaloos.

Some of them think they own the place! It can be quite funny - for example the other day walking to school with my youngest, the traffic light weren't working. A plummy older lady popped up and announced "They won't kill all of us!, come along!" and put her hand out like lollipop man, stopping all the traffic for us to cross It's just funny! Maybe some kind of confidence I guess. But is can sometimes lead to rudeness as well (as you have seen). It could have pahhepend to anyone though. We have this too with a Christmas tree one has dumped on our vault...hmm. There can be these disputes in any urban close community as well. (but can get worse if entitled people about)

Very common, isn't it, smelly 'portaloos'.

I was hoping a conservation area would mean that constant renovations didn't happen!

Nope constant works are still a thing sadly.

stupid question but in that case, what's the benefit of a conservation area?

Why don’t they put the portaloos in their own garden?

The external appearance of all of the listed homes are preserved - they’re grade 2 listed so cannot be changed. Internally though is another story

Maybe I should post on S&B - “how do I achieve the rich, scruffy look”

Scour charity shops and jumble sales for "good" classic labels that are old school, like Aquascutum and Jaeger. If they're not quite scruffy enough, "distress" them a bit (a cheese grater is good for fraying cuffs and creating worn patches, and cold tea for making whites look a little dingy, according to a friend who supplies period costumes for film, tv and theatre).

Or just be yourself and think fuck 'em - they're the ones with a problem, not you.

ah well, at least it's not the constant works that seem to be extensions and changing roofs etc round mum's streets.

I would hope that having to keep the external the same would mean a bit less work anyway!

@ohiseeyou

I find it really amusing that you regard the OP as uneducated due to a few minor imperfections in her written grammar, yet you are so ill informed that you think an "estuary" accent is from Liverpool.

Physician, heal thyself.

The external appearance of all of the listed homes are preserved - they’re grade 2 listed so cannot be changed. Internally though is another story

Although it is important to remember that building status applies to the whole building. Any work has to have listed building consent, even internal work.

People with “real money” don’t tend to dress up unless for an occasion, believe me I have known a few. Our local Laird, lives in a castle and goes about dressed like the gardener. They have nothing to prove.

Sounds like you need a confidence boost OP. the situation sound very similar to when we had the property developer woman last year. (also Grade 2 listed (Georgian) buildings here as well. She caused a right fuss and it was not only us she upset.

Maybe contact the residents association if it is anything to do wit them also, or the management committee for the buildings.

Don't let it build up, and do as my husband and end up telling the woman "You are a witch" after she approached him one Sunday to go on about more 'issues' with the building!

@user - perhaps she and my neighbour should live in their own “very private estate” (population - 2). Am almost wondering if that’s the same area

@Orangeballon that’s sort of what I mean... I dress casually generally, but don’t quite fit the local style.

OP don;t worry- it's not about you, it's them...(the people doing this) I think they are like it with everyone. I bet they are upsetting others around you too, maybe you can get together with others and do something? Will it be over soon? It was such a relief when this woman finished and sold the property. I think we all breathed a sigh of relief.

I just checked our residents association website and maybe it would be worth contacting yours about it? as it seems they deal with this stuff as well.

Ours says..(have replaced XXs for some name details)

"As well as maintaining the garden, the RA also takes an interest, or is involved, in a wide variety of other issues which are likely to be of relevance to residents of XXXX. These include, for example, issues relating to parking, street litter and street noise. The RA is also a member of the Federation of XXXX Residents Associations which is consulted by, and gives advice to, (Local Council) on a range of matters affecting the city. The RA is also a member of the XXX Preservation Society which promotes the welfare of the built environment by fostering the preservation of XXX's Georgian heritage and monitoring the appropriateness of planned new developments."

I see the Valerie Jones brigade has been here. Perhaps a naice slaice of gateaux and a new ge-own from the boutique would cheer them up? Or something fetching in gingery tweed?

Be yourself op... you're the only one of you there is, after all.

I'm perverse - I would up the ante and make my accent even more pronounced and then pretend to ask a question and wait for an answer...

Don't worry, OP, I understood all your postings fine. Some people are just desperate to big themselves up at others' expense. I have an MA in English and make all sorts of mistakes and can't-be-arseds on social media.

I went to an English public school and have the subsequent accent; I have few problems understanding people and would never suggest that someone changes their accent - I'm not such a twat as to judge people on accent so have no problems with people judging me on mine.

I learned when working in university holidays in a shootin' and fishin' hotel the truth of the saying that old money is secure and polite to staff, while new money is insecure and obnoxious to those they think below them. I think it is pretty easy to work out which category some of your neighbours and your critics on this thread fall into.