Won’t work but wants money!

[Manclife1]

So, wife and I work in similar jobs, for similar length of time, for same pay and career opportunities. Wife works part time (3 day week) following the birth of our children which was her choice as I wanted us both work a 4 day week and split childcare 50/50.

Youngest goes to high school September and so she no longer needs to pick up/drop off and can go back full time. However, she’s refusing to do so as working a full week would be ‘too exhausting’. In the same breath she’s complaining that we can’t afford nice holidays etc.

AIBU to think shes taking the piss? I’d love to reduce my hours and spend more time with her and the kids but can’t while she’s working so few hours.

PS household tasks split 50/50 apart from laundry which she does on days off.

Op has said his wife complains about not having a holiday. Wants to drop a day so she picks up a day. Hasn't explained at all how her picking up and him dropping improved her prospect of a holiday, which leads me to think they have separate finances.

On the surface wanting to split work and childcare and housework 50/50 is very reasonable. But there is something very arrogant and disconcerting about the op. He doesn't sound like a nice guy, and the way he has phrased it as 'won't work but wants money' is strange. She clearly does work.

Curious about how mnay sock puppets are here🤔

Wow. I was working my way though this tbread and I was on your side op until the dig at sahp ablut justifying their own existance.

This thread is ridiculous!

Quite amusing to see people tying themselves in knots trying to make the presumed man in the wrong though 😂

One even said he should do more hours to pay for holidays. You couldn’t make it up!

Wow. I was working my way though this tbread and I was on your side op until the dig at sahp ablut justifying their own existance.

To be fair, these sahp listed CHECKING PRODUCT REVIEWS as a highly necessary and essential task as a reason to stay at home and not work...

taco
Don't forget organising the family photos.

So, thought I’d give an quick update.

Spoke to DW when she got back (she’d been away for the weekend) and there were issues at her work she’d not told me about but also an admission on her part that there was an element of laziness. She’s glad the relationship between me and the kids have strengthened so willing to work towards a 4 day week each. We’ll start of with here upping her hours and see how it goes for 6 months before I reduce mine. The extra money will be put towards a holiday.

I also told her about this post and let her read it. See was a bit pissed off at first but understood why I might have sought advice on here. I won’t go into detail as to what she thought but some did not come out of it well.

I know this thread moved onto the topic of Male/female posters on mumsnet so thought I would leave you with this. Half of the comments in here were calling me a liar and putting my account into question. Those who did that said they would do it to anyone not just men. Well the link below is about financial equality in a relationship and so far not 1 person has challenged the OP’s account. So feel free to move over there and make similar posts to the ones you did here. No?....thought not!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3589555-husband-not-happy-i-earned-more?pg=2&order=

Anyway, I’m off to back up photos, arrange play dates and read product reviews!

That’s a great update OP. I’m glad your wife is a better person than some of the posters on here!

Spring walk Habitually through this thread has made risible accusations & insults to anyone who disagrees with her
You’re a man (to women)
You’re childless (to parents)
On another planet
Letting down other women/sisterhood/muthas

Genuinely funny
Insults on an industrial scale
Doggedly defending indefensible. Wifework isn’t onerous.

Other comedy on thread,Who knew that reading product reviews is wifework
So no I’m faffing looking at lipstick,I actually familiarising myself about product and their efficacy

springwalk
Just blame the OPs MIL and tell him to go NC.
You won't sound any more stupid than you already do.

Great update OP

the link below is about financial equality in a relationship and so far not 1 person has challenged the OP’s account. So feel free to move over there and make similar posts to the ones you did here. No?....thought not!

Did you actually read that thread? Are you saying your wife goes on like the husband does in that one?

That link is not at all comparable but plenty are.

Sounds like you and your wife have come to a good decision and I hope it works out well for you both. I would also suggest that you both drop the ironing and only iron those really necessary items the night before. It saves so much time.

I would also suggest that you both drop the ironing and only iron those really necessary items the night before. It saves so much time.

Eek.

I 100% agree with ironing less, but surely this should be done in one go, in advance, so you're always prepared?

Great update OP, your wife sounds like she's made of tough stuff.

None of my clothes need ironing because I hang them up as soon as they are dry.

DH sometimes needs to iron a couple of shirts for work. That's it.

Ditch the ironing, you won't regret it.

My DH doesn't do 50% at all, I reckon it's closer to 75%. So just because some people here clearly have experience of lazy partners who don't pull their weight doesn't mean all men are the same.

Op for starters I find it hard to believe your update is completely genuine.

For another the thread you linked to within just a few posts posters ARE querying the accuracy and responsibility of the op and their money management.

And for another as per pp on here for MILLENIA women have been oppressed financially, in terms of the work at home not being valued, generally in terms of how they live their economic lives!

So to try and come on all "poor menz" IS offensive and disingenuous.

Only you know the reality of your situation, I can only hope you won't be distracted by the sarcasm and ad absurdum arguments put forward by some on this thread and work genuinely collaboratively with your wife to reach a solution that balances the needs of the whole family.

Though honestly I suspect what will happen is your wife ends up as most women do giving more than she takes, feeling unloved and unsupported but unable to change much.

Manclife lol at Toodle pip

Manclife sound as though your wife judged that correct.

Op for starters I find it hard to believe your update is completely genuine.

Surprise surprise

Graphista it's not like anyone cares that you're calling him a liar again, after your bullshit arguments about him not doing 50% of the housework because of a random study that can't POSSIBLY have any exceptions...

Graphista do yourself a favour and change your name, pronto.

I'm so embarrassed for you.

I actually don't agree with Graphista on this thread but that comment is fucking horrible irrespective of who said it, and anyone who says "the wife" is automatically a bit of a twat themselves.

(I actually think it's very possible for people to be equal partners whatever their sex - my DH certainly does more than 50%. He doesn't however go around moaning about me on the internet and then telling people I think they're a bitter twat That just comes across as immature and I'm a little embarrassed for you. "My wife doesn't like you and I'm telling on you")

And I'm not entirely sure your wife is a great judge of character if she sees what you have written about her, but only has a problem with other people's' replies. If my DH wrote about me the way you have written about her (he wouldn't as he's not a twat) he would be getting divorce papers.