DM sulking that she can't look after baby

[jacksprattt]

My baby is almost 9 months and since she was born my DM has been wanting take her for a few hours. She is a teacher so this comes up every half term. When she initially asked baby was only a couple of months old and EBF and found expressing difficult so I just told her I felt DC was too young yet.

This came up again at Easter and I now feel that DC is old enough to be without me and I wouldn't mind a few hours break however DC has very bad separation anxiety and howls even when I am just going to the toilet. I explained this to DM (and she was witnessing the tears at the tine) but she left in a sulk and has not been to see DC since.
I know that this will come up at the next half term. I wish she would realise that by not visiting it is making it worse as DC forgets her so is not developing a relationship which would make it feasible to babysit.

My DP thinks maybe I should just give in for an hour and DC will be fine but I dont feel it's fair to DC (also feel she will continue to press for more after the first time so I want it to happen naturally).

AIBU to say no?

Jeezus all the people saying kids NEED to bond with grandparents 🙄😒
Op. Your mum is manipulative, she is putting her WANTS over your child’s NEEDS. She doesn’t even really care about your needs, she could watch your child at home (where they’d probably feel less anxious) and give you a break but ll she wants is alone time so she do whatever she wants.

Please don’t fall for the hype of “normal families do this/that” , the most dysfunctional families often think they are the most normal.

Please continue to do what you feel is right by you and your child, that’s why your mummy instincts are flaring up.

What happened s when your mum starts trying to manipulate your child?

Stay strong.

Parenting in every era has its good and bad points. It will be very interesting to see the result of current parenting in 20 years time. It doesn’t seem to have done well in 2005 if the DoE thread is anything to go by.

Of course, [millennials] invented motherhood! I'd love to be around when their children have children, assuming that they allow them to leave home. These pages are so funny

I can guarantee members of your mother's generation said exactly the same about you. Every generation thinks it invents sex and parenting.

You can't generalise on this.

I was fine with mine (and more so with each subsequent ) being palmed off on people who loved them once they were not EBF. However I would have been a lot less willing to hand them over in response to demands for "alone time" than I was to disinterested offers from family who loved them.

I don't remember this demanding of "alone time" with new babies being a thing when mine were small. I honestly don't know if the new mothers I knew were lucky, or if its a fashion with the current generation of new grandparents.

I really dislike sulkers because it's extremely childish and shows an immaturity that makes me doubt how capable they are in every day life.

Don't reward a sulker.

I agree, my paternal DGM was a very difficult person (hence the advice from DM I mentioned earlier) and even she didn't expect DM to hand me over as a newborn so she could play mummy for a night.

If we are going to do generation generalisations on millenials maybe we should start talking about entitled baby boomers?