To not pursue my child’s “incredible” swimming skill

[Amibeingdaft81]

Single mum, two children. One of whom is an exceptional swimmer. From that first lesson as a baby, she has utterly loved swimming and her swimming itself is unbelievably good.

She is now almost 9. She doesn’t do regular swim lessons. I buy the odd pack of 1-2-1 lessons and she has may be one every 4/5 weeks. She swims most weekends though, with her father, but purely recreational.

Anyway, at gym yesterday the teacher who has given her the 1-2-1s left a note at front desk to call him down when I next came to the gym. The first thing he said was “your daughter is the best swimmer I have ever taught by a significant margin”. He went on to say that although premature - he thinks she could be Olympian standard. He said that by not having her in a club I am doing her a disservice.

Here’s the dilemma. I’m a single working parent with no support network whatsoever. All going fairly well atm because I work damn hard at balancing all the balls and ruthlessly organised. Both children are keen sportspersons, very keen. This daughter is also very good at dross country and attends races, along with football and athletics. We are at capacity as to what I can balance.

She loves swimming and sport generally.

AIBU if I don’t pursue swimming as well? From what I can gather it’s a sport that involves very early starts and hours of training.

Don't worry about it yet kneel. Just do the local events, counties and regionals if possible. Then it's just day trips and maybe £30 entry. Weekend trips aren't necessary, unless you got to the nationals and it was far away. But that's once a year, and some pretty stiff entry times.

continuity DD has just been invited to join a competitive gymnastics squad. Tuition fees have just gone up to £70 a month...from about £25. Plus special leotards, entry fees etc...I’m new to competitive sport but can see the costs mounting up already. I can see how swimming can be the same.

Gymnastics is the other interest my girls have.... I really could have done with cheaper interests. Althletics!?

kneel at DS rugby club there is a hardship fund for talented players who need some financial support. I just approved a player and his family to go on tour because he’s very good and we needed him as a team. It was very discrete. Many clubs do this.

Kneel Athletics is DS’s sport, he is very good. It’s cheap lessons are £5 a go and we just discovered junior Parkrun today - which is free! But I will definitely be volunteering there to do my bit...

I might see if I can subtly convert them 🤣

I live in West London and had the choice of three clubs. The club I chose was one which required little commitment in the early years (1 one hour session, then 2 1.5 hour sessions). However, the swimming sessions my sons did at school counted towards their club hours and their school hours were longer than the clubs. Fees were cheaper than private lessons (30-35 per month each) and we chose to only do galas within 1.5 hours from London.

The teen has since moved on to a different sport, but his cardiovascular fitness acquired in swimming was a HUGE leg up in his new sport. In fact, it was a huge benefit for all sport. He went from being D teams at school to B teams (now A teams) and also from being dead last in a year cross country run to being invited by the school to represent it at the National Cross Country Championship (this is a boy who does not routinely run). This was great for his confidence, social standing at school, and kept him busy and fit. It actually helped him academically as he learned the skill of effective time management and the 2 hour swim sessions up and down the lanes were the one time he had zero screen time and learned how to mentally deal with boredom.

I’m a single mum and my boys both play a sport (not swimming) that involves a level of commitment during the playing season that had me so exhausted one weekend I was in tears by the Sunday eve. It’s not just the training (3 times a week for 90 mins) or the home games. It’s also the away games that take up the whole afternoon and the driving involved.

I know my post isn’t about swimming but I wanted to add my exhausted pennies worth.

I know you say that you have decided but it your daughter loves swimming, I wouldn't dismiss it all just yet. Not all swimming clubs have training sessions early every morning. There are ones that are a bit more relaxed. Could your daughter not join a club where she could swim just once a week and then you could see how she feels after a few months? If she has such potential, they may even waive her fees.

Swimming is actually one of the cheapest things a child can do.

Once a week lessons maybe

Once you get into serious training and competitions - no way. A weekend meet can easily cost you £400 in travel, accommodation, food and entry fees

Get a grip, this child hasn’t even joined a club yet, talking of making a serious commitment is ludicrous.

I didn’t pay for once a week lessons, my three all learned from scratch at a swimming club, as this was the cheapest way. Swimming is very cheap compared with many sports. For example, special outfits, kit and uniforms aren’t needed.

My three reached their own level at swimming but on the way we attended many galas. There was always a bus provided to the venues, which was paid for by the club, so no extra cost.

OP, go and watch this in 3 weeks, sport.iaps.uk/events/1127/ then come back and tell us your DD is an "exceptional swimmer".

Sorry, that was 2018's, sport.iaps.uk/events/1290/ is this years.

Hazel OP was talking of dd being a “future Olympian “ , so people are discussing the costs involved in serious training. She is not going to become an Olympian without joining a serious club with serious training, commitment and cost.
Your swimming club sounds great, a club that teaches swimming and provides a bus, is a great local community group. An elite squad is completely different. It is full on training from young age, morning sesssions, galas all over the county, and further as they progress, which are full weekends involving hotels if too far to travel for 8am start after a 7pm finish the night before . It is several training suits which don’t last long , specialist racing suits ranging from £80 for basic to £300+ , training goggles plus racing goggles, several swim hats ( great for chewing when nervous before a race so extra needed), monthly fees of £100, club membership fees, food food and more food, petrol costs etc etc etc.

yaba agreed. DS's race goggles cost £60 and he is not elite....and the chewing of the strap....

The chewing drove me mad 😁

I was a high achiever in a particular sport but I didn't want to take it to an elite level at the expense of everything else that life has to offer.

If you go for this, swimming will take over DD's life along with yours and DC2s. Very very early mornings before school, full weekends etc etc.. All well and good IF DD wants this so badly that she is happy to make enormous sacrifices.

For me, a happy balanced life was more important than chasing the dream of being an elite sportswoman. My choice.

OP I think you are very sensible to give this a great deal of thought. Even if funds weren't limited I still think it's a tough decision with serious repercussions your the future of your family.

Forgot, each race at a gala is £6- £10, they might do up to 12 races at a gala, then you pay for the pleasure of watching them, £10 per day.
Training 2hrs a night, too far to go home so you end up in Costa, pub, shops as watching kids swim up and down a pool is like watching paint dry when youve done it every night for years....

people this simply didn't happen. No club coach ever offered to accept an 8 yr old into their club, fully sponsored by the club, without having ever seen them swim. OP is on Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Yaba - yes, the costs involved in serious training are, of course, large.
The point is, the ops dd is not at that stage yet! No where near. The costs for her and training for her, at the moment, aren't large. So, it's silly to take in to account what the costs may or may not be in five years time.

That's like me telling dd she can't go to the roller disco this weekend with her friends because if she became a world champion roller skater I couldn't get her to the world championships in Australia.

100% of the posters who know anything about swimming on this thread have explained that a swim teacher would not have a first clue about whether an 8 year old could make the Olympics.

As Edwin pointed out, the difference between a good swimmer at state school level and a club swimmer, is huge. (Private schools with pools and their own swim squads are different, they can be as good as club level). Most people don't realise the difference.

Time your dc next time in a 25m pool for two lengths, so 50m. The properly good swimmers are doing 32 seconds ish at 9 years old, with tumbles and racing starts. The 'good' school/non club swimmers are doing that time for half the distance!

arethere I was replying to pp saying swimming is one of the cheapest sports. Completely agree with the rest of your post

@edwinbear I don't know your experience of swimming clubs but I'm heavily involved in one. I can fairly certainly say that if a child showed huge potential and parental funds prohibited their membership they would waive the fees. They would have to see them swimming first though, obviously. They payback would be the child's participation in galas for the club. There's often a bus or other parents willing to give a lift. That's just the club I'm involved with but thought it was worthwhile sharing...

Ah, sorry yaba, fair enough.

Think some of you need to shop around for race goggles 😉 My Arena Cobra are way less than £60 as are the Speedo Fastskin!

I understand that some swim federations are looking to stop under 14s from racing in the ultra expensive suits unless they are right at the top nationally - think Aus and NZ. The club my DS is at says they can only swim one event in skins, the rest have to be normal suits and this is to prevent the impression that the kids have to have £200 suits that only national squads race in. That goes get expensive if they grow quickly

are I completely agree, a talented swimmer with real potential would be supported financially by most serious clubs. But what wouldn't happen, is the head coach calling a parent they've never met, offering a child they've never seen swim, a fully sponsored space in their club on the back of what the local 1-2-1 swimming teacher think's he's spotted.

They'd ask them to come along to a trial and decide for themselves.