To not pursue my child’s “incredible” swimming skill

[Amibeingdaft81]

Single mum, two children. One of whom is an exceptional swimmer. From that first lesson as a baby, she has utterly loved swimming and her swimming itself is unbelievably good.

She is now almost 9. She doesn’t do regular swim lessons. I buy the odd pack of 1-2-1 lessons and she has may be one every 4/5 weeks. She swims most weekends though, with her father, but purely recreational.

Anyway, at gym yesterday the teacher who has given her the 1-2-1s left a note at front desk to call him down when I next came to the gym. The first thing he said was “your daughter is the best swimmer I have ever taught by a significant margin”. He went on to say that although premature - he thinks she could be Olympian standard. He said that by not having her in a club I am doing her a disservice.

Here’s the dilemma. I’m a single working parent with no support network whatsoever. All going fairly well atm because I work damn hard at balancing all the balls and ruthlessly organised. Both children are keen sportspersons, very keen. This daughter is also very good at dross country and attends races, along with football and athletics. We are at capacity as to what I can balance.

She loves swimming and sport generally.

AIBU if I don’t pursue swimming as well? From what I can gather it’s a sport that involves very early starts and hours of training.

The level of time commitment for swimming at a competitive level is almost greater than any other activity, and would mean sacrificing much of childhood.

This child is only 9 and is not looking immediately at Olympic level training. We are talking about a child staring at a club level for 2 sessions a week and taking it from there. She may not like it and she might not be good enough to move to the higher groups - who knows at this stage. This girl has not even swum in 1 swim gala yet!

In terms of time needed to compete at the highest level in sport, swimming is not unique, and anything you want to do at the highest competitive ranks will require similar commitment - swimming, ice skating, gymnastics, ballet, concert pianist, virtuoso violinist. Few are cut out for it, but that does not negate the value in starting out and going as far as one can go, no matter how low the rung one gets to.

The problem in supporting children in any sport is cost which can be massive. If they do well in swimming is it possible to make a a living out of it later?

Swimming is actually one of the cheapest things a child can do. I was a single parent to three, who all swam at the local swimming club. They did other things as well but they loved swimming and made lots of friends. When their school did a sports day, think egg and spoon/sack race, the children who did well we’re all from the swimming club.

Talking about the Olympics and making a living from swimming is beyond ridiculous.

*were fucking auto correct

Can I ask where all of these more relaxed style swimming clubs are? I've tried looking in my area and I can't find any. And that's one of the issues that I have with it. For my son at the moment he does 3, 1 hr sessions. The next level up is 4 sessions, 1/1.5 hr. And i repeat, he is 8. I'm quite happy with him doing what he's doing now but relatively soon he's going to be too old for the stage he's in. There appears to be nothing for kids who are decent but not good enough (or want) to go the ultra competitive route. The whole scheme seems to be set up to take lots of kids and see who makes it, but the ones who don't are just abandoned.

The coach said that they would pay all costs to support her joining.

The coach offered to do that without having seen her swim? Really?

whatsthe in our area you have the City clubs, which are the ultra competitive, and you have the more local, community type clubs. The more local ones train 3 times a week for an hour on average, and only enter the very small competitions. If you ask at your local pool they should know, or google swimming clubs for your area and ignore the big ones.

If your child likes swimming but doesn’t want to compete how about trying a water polo team or underwater hockey? Unfortunately there aren’t any of those types of club in my area but may have them in yours.

whereas people are answering as if shes been asked to commit tons
The problem is, they start at a couple of times a week but very quickly progress, by age 9 mine was expected to do 5-6 evenings and 1 5am start. Even if OPs club is a much smaller commitment now, for her dd to progress, the reality is that swimming is incredibly intensive training, and it’s very hard to turn round to a dc who is doing well and enjoying their sport and say they can’t progress to the next group so will have to leave.

whatsthe DS is on school swim squad but didn’t qualify for the IAPS finals, he’s a good, but not exceptional swimmer. He (and I) swim with a local club who specialise in long distance swimming. I did a cross Channel relay with them in Sept ‘17. They focus on endurance rather than speed, DS (9) swims a mile each Weds evening which has been fantastic for his general fitness, particularly as his ‘first’ sport is running and he is thinking about moving into triathlon. The Club also teach the kids lifesaving, and they get 5 mins ‘fun time’ at the end of each session launching themselves off the blocks etc. We send a junior relay team to do a cross Channel most years which is one hell of an experience - might he enjoy something like that?

I said it wasn’t about the money. It’s the fact that I don’t have the capacity to commit to the initial Saturday morning 7-9 and Wednesday 5-6.30 for the 9-12 group
I take back all I’ve said about the commitment . If this is all the training to age 12, it’s not a big club with big expectations. Equally it’s not at an intensity to allow dd to race at any decent level.
Also find it very strange the coach is offering free access and lifts without ever having seen her swim!

Also find it very strange the coach is offering free access and lifts without ever having seen her swim!

Agreed yaba this simply didn’t happen....anyone with the smallest experience of swim clubs knows this is fabricated....

I’ll also add that swimming coaches are not full time, permanent staff at your gym. They are only on site when they are coaching, so asking the receptionist to ‘call him down next time you are in’ is unlikely.

Very true. My DSs’ swim club required a timed trial of all strokes in order to join, and had a minimum requirement. This girl has only done a few private lessons and is being scouted as the next Katy Ledecky. Didn’t happen.

DS and I both had to trial to join a non competitive endurance club. DS (despite competing for school) wasn’t accepted at his first trial and had to trial again the following year. There is no way a not for profit club, would offer to stump up costs for an 8 year old, who has never competed, who they have never seen swim.

OP, the IAPS butterfly 25m first finalist in DS’s U10 age group, qualified in 16 seconds. If she’s not currently on track for that, you’d be well advised not to waste yours or her time. If this is real, which I suspect it’s not.....

There isnt a selection of clubs in our area really (not a city) but there are various groups within it. So a 7-11 year old could be in various training squads (2hrs/3hrs/4hrs) or a development squad (lots inc morning) or 11+ moves into almost daily training, mornings etc OR a club that meets 2 x a week.

Im currently hoping my offspring will move into the recreational stream at 11, but most parents are hoping for the various competitive squads at 11.

The other thing to try might be lifesaving training or clubs. My child got all their "rookies" badges through an hour a week.

In fact, checking the results, the girls is 15.21. I simply don’t believe your DD with a handful of 1-2-1’s, is swimming at this level and frankly, it’s insulting if you’re suggesting she can compete with kids delivering these times, age 9, who train so incredibly hard to achieve this. I’m going to guess she’s never started off blocks, can’t tumble and can’t breathe bi-laterally?

I think it’s desperately sad that you won’t even allow her to give it a go, even with all fees paid and transport arranged. What a missed opportunity for her.

all no swimming club offers all expenses paid training to a child they have never seen swim.

Ohhh....

Swimming is actually one of the cheapest things a child can do.

Once a week lessons maybe.

Once you get into serious training and competitions - no way. A weekend meet can easily cost you £400 in travel, accommodation, food and entry fees.

all exactly.... when DS was 9 months old and got dunked for the first time and was the only baby not to cry, I also took some artistic licence with friends and family about how talented he was.....

But it didn’t culminate in free tuition because he was a future Olympiad....

The good thing for op and her dd is, if she never joins a club, then they can go around for ever saying 'well, I would have got in to the olympics, professionals said so, but it didn't fit with our lifestyle.'

Wow Continuity. We just simply cant afford that. We currently pay nearly £100 a month for both children to be in the beginner teams (2 hours and 3 hours) and dont think I can afford the fees for the serious squads. I had no idea the weekends were so expensive.... :( I think we will be priced out. I must admit it will be really tricky if mine want to continue and progress and we have to say no.