to want to go up the pregnant woman that i saw smoking, take her cigarette away from her, stamp on it and call her a selfish cow!!

[lucyellensmum]

it is plain selfish to smoke whilst pregnant, given what is known about the risk

I'm pre menstural, i DARE you to say im being unreasonable.

as a smoker who cut down (genuinely, not misreporting)! from 20 to 2 aday when pregnant, i once asked a midwife which in her opinion was worse, heavy smoking or heavy drinking. sha worried more about heavy drinking.

i had a trouble free pregnancy, NO supplements, ailments and a straight forward delivery. i now have a beautiful, very healthy, breastfed baby.

like others have said, these debates about drinking/smoking have all been done.

i think i might start a few new threads:-
am i being unreasonable to hate pregnant women who

eat mcdonalds
drink coke
take medication for illness
live with abusive partners
don't tak any exercise
are miserable
sit at computer screens all day

EVERYTHING in life, including experiences, has an effect on a foetus.

Not being unreasonable to want to do it at all. We're all human and have things we see as unacceptable. The fact that you refrained shows that you know this and are a rational human. Well done.

Agnes

I was a smoker ... probably 20 a day .... when I got pg with DS (not planned)
I did my pg test, had half a cigarette to get over the shock then chucked the packet in the bin.
Yes, it was hard ... I went through about 3 weeks of withdrawal (together with morning sickness, not fun) ... but not once, ever, did I want to start again. It wasn't about me anymore. It was about someone who didn't get a choice. I wouldn't give a 3 year old child a drag on my fag so why would I smoke when pregnant?

I started again when DS was 6 months old but never in the house or near him blah blah.

I got pregnant again when DS was 2.9 ...
I didn't give up ...
I lost that pregnancy at 12 weeks

I will never ever know if I lost that baby because I smoked. Probably unlikely, but I will never ever know will I? I have to live with that.

Gave up again when TTC DD .... and haven't started again apart from the odd one when pissed (DD is 3 and a half) and that has maybe been twice a year at the most.

So, when I see a pg woman smoking I feel sad, gutted ...
But I would never 'take her fag off her and tell her she was a selfish cow'. She knows that. She surely can't be that stupid not to?

There is a little boy in my DD's creche who has behaviour and learning problems ... speech delay, global delay etc etc. His little brother looks like he may have the same problems.
The mother is pregnant again. And every day stands outside the creche having a ciggie.
It does my head in. It breaks my heart. How does she know her boys' problems don't stem from smoking in pregnancy?
Is she really that stupid to think it is ok? Can she not give this baby a chance?
But who am I to tell her? I don't know what other circumstances she lives in ... she may be in an abusive relationship and smoking is her only 'release' ... she may have been an alcoholic and has given up booze but can't give up the fags yet (I have a friend who went through the AA and it took her years to get round to giving up smoking ... )
Ok, so maybe none of that justifies smoking in pregnancy but it is her life, her baby ... as much as it breaks my heart, it is NOT my place to tell her what to do

ghosty, I have a very similar history to you.

I conceived for the first time ever on NYE 1999, pissed up on cointreau and dozens and dozens of fags, lost that pg at 9 wks - never know will I?

Same here about giving up easily when PG and sneaking out for the very very odd one when pissed in between times.

So shall I bring a pack of Winnie Blues when I come over in November and we can stand at the bottom of your garden once the kids have gone to bed?

I think we shall get along swimmingly

The stress of having two children with learning disabilities wouldn't exactly make it easy to give up ciggies. I had a teacher once who said "If I was homeless I think I'd want to be drunk the whole time too". (Not the same, but a similar criticism you hear).

Some may think she is a selfish cow for being pregnant

twentypence ... I agree with you ...
who am I to tell her what to do? I feel sad she smokes considering the problems her children have etc but really I am not in her shoes and don't live her life ...