to want to go up the pregnant woman that i saw smoking, take her cigarette away from her, stamp on it and call her a selfish cow!!

[lucyellensmum]

it is plain selfish to smoke whilst pregnant, given what is known about the risk

I'm pre menstural, i DARE you to say im being unreasonable.

I have to run, it's my ds school concert. But I know many intelligent, loving mothers who allowed themselves to smoke during their pregnancies. It's called fatalism. Smoking 2 cigarettes (smoking 20 is certainly a different matter) a day doesn't put baby at risk, or it does, like the chance of having a car crash, or being run down by a byke, etc etc etc.

sorry skidoodle but WHAT ABSOULUTE BOLLOCKS.
this is a baby we're talking about, one that doesn't have a say whether or not it gets a lungful of tar unlike it's mother.
whether or not her husband might or might not be dying would be irrelevent. it would not give her the right to possibly condemn her child to the same fate.
you just imagine for a second being trapped and tied up in a room thats on fire with nowhere to escepe the smoke, not being able to cover your face from the fumes, or do anything to protect yourself.
that is exactly how the baby feels. NO ESCAPE FROM IT AT ALL.
Obviously i think it's fantastic to all the "pregnants" out there who have cut back on their cigarette addictions, but why cut back when you can just give up, surely your baby's health is more important to you than a fag.

misdee, i have read your threads re DH and i respect that you are going through hell just now and you shouldnt feel guilty. Which is precisely why i vented my spleen on here and would never dream of saying anything to someone. I hoope things get better for you.

FFS you lot, isn't there something in the bible along the lines of 'let him who is without sin cast the first stone'?

Stop being so self-righteous and judgemental and go and live your own lives without criticising other people for things you can only judge from the outside without knowing the full facts.

I hope none of you ever do jury service.

Not unreasonable to want to do something - everyone has fantasies and desires that involve unacceptable behaviour.
It would have been unreasonable if you'd said or done anything to her, though. Your feelings are your problem, not anyone else's.

but by tsrating this thread you have annoyed a lot of people.

lately on here its been rants about people smoking during pregnancym, drinking in pregnancy, its all f-ing judging atm.

LEM would like to say sorry if offence caused, because i do recognise that people suffer from stress to levels where smoking may be the only respite. BUT i know women who smoke during pregnancy and think they have a right to do so and they drink too. So i should say then that THESE women are exceptionally selfish.

LEM now wishes she never started this thread as she has upset people she has respect for (misdee im really sorry)

lucyellensmum, by saying someone looks happy doesnt mean a thing (your post earlier down about not lookign bereaved'.

a lot of people comment on how happy i seem most of the time. they dont see me in the evenings broken down after holding it togetehr all day for my children.

Smokers are under siege from all corners at the moment. I don't think it will be long before having a cigarette is as unacceptable as to inject heroin.

Addiction is a powerful force, and it is very sad for someone who can't put their baby's needs before their own.

Whether it is your job to personally put them straight I doubt. I'm sure she will get plenty of confrontation about it from her own family and friends.

In general, people need to learn to mind their own business a bit more. Pregnant women are not public property, nor are they merely containers for foetuses.

ANd officious slef-righteous peole in general should learn a little bit about risk assessment, at which they are invariably useless.

i am sorry - i shouldnt have started this thread. I am SO anti smoking because of my dad that it blurrs my vision and i really do see red. I was just so cross with this lady i didnt stop and think - LEM skulks away with tail between legs, rightfully castigated

What could the facts be? She's pregnant, and fancied a cigarette, so she smoked one. She is depriving her unborn baby of osygen.

I smoked before I became pregnant with DS1, but would not ever have smoked when pregnant. I knew it would harm my baby. perhaps this woman didn't understand the health risks.

YARBU at all. I have walked into a hospital for a scan to confirm I have lost my baby. Past a heavily pregnant woman smoking outside.

dontgetmestarted ... cigarette smoke does not get into the womb. Your imagery is dramatic, but woefully incorrect.

@don'tgetmestarted

so what was it I said that was COMPLETE BOLLOCKS?

your nasty, emotive and frankly embarrassingly stupid rant about a poor ickle baby trapped in a smoky room has bog all to do with anything I said.

the things is, the mother (much as you may not like it) DOES have the right to smoke when she is pregnant. She has that right because she is a free adult human being with the same rights as all other adult human beings and the fact that she is pregnant doesn't change that in any way.

Perhaps you would like it if foetuses were given their own rights so that pregnant women could be refused things deemed bad for them, or refused rights to travel to places where bad things might happen, or the state or their husband could lock them up to prevent them making choices that might not be in the interests of the ickle baby they're carrying.

I have not the whole thread but.....

It is not really any of your business tbh

If I gave into every thought I had of another person/people.....

well the world (or this town) would be a very strange place.

Lucy - I think we all understand your sentiments - we reacted to the OP which just got our collective backs up

LEM,

you are a sweetie. takes a big woman to say sorry in the middle of a spat

we all have our red button issues, and we can all be judgemental on our bad days.

it seemed as though you were kind of looking for a row, so now I feel bad for getting so involved. i guess i enjoy such sparring too much.

sdoodle.

LEM, thanks for saying sorry.

i know i was being judged if i dared lit up in public, but right then, life was a complete blur.

whenever I see a pg woman smoking, and say she's with a toddler, I have an urge to take the fag and pop it into the toddler's mouth. just to see what she'd say.

sigh

but I resist

(Have never smoked myself but) How is this thread any different from the 'AIBU to be disappointed that pregnant women drink' thread? If a pregnant woman occasionally decides to do something that makes her feel better, that's up to her surely?

whenever I see a pregnant toddler smoking and she is with a large dog I have an almost irrestistable urge to go up to the toddler, take the cigarette put it in the dog's mouth, and see what she says (if she can talk that is)

but I resist.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i am actually a bit surprised that so many people have flamed me for this, i was expecting a resounding YANBU but then i never really think things through and im truly sorry if ive upset anyone, please dont hate me

dont worry about being hated,you wont be...you have (bravely) said sorry...dont let PMT make you feel worse than you need to

I really don't think you had anything to apologise for.