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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how to sleep, with him across the road??

165 replies

ApplePieIsAmazing · 16/05/2019 13:33

Across the road from us is a junkie. Thank God we don't have any dcs because he truly is terrifying. We have found needles across the road from us, we found what looks like a diy Molotov cocktail burned in our gutter and he has stolen our bin and many other neighbours bins and filled it with his kitchen. He smokes meth out on the footpath and he watches us, including the neighbours come and go.

We've spoken to our MP, the council and housing authority because it's government housing and he's going to be there at least another month. My DH and I have work all day tomorrow, terrified he'll break in if he notices the cars are gone and rob us and hurt our cats :(

We have dogs thank God, they have to stay outside while we are at work.

All we can do is lock our front doors and windows, roller shutters down

OP posts:
Medievalist · 17/05/2019 05:54

I have to stand up for OP when it comes to dogs. Mine were always outside dogs. If the garden is a good size it's great for them. Much better than being locked inside imho. And if they are used to being outside, they won't bark at everything and all the time. If they have a good shelter, water and space, it's perfect.
Mine always came in in the evening or throughout the day if we were home for cuddles, treats and naps. We also spent loads of time outside with them. That's how it's done where I am from, mainly because we have big dogs and gardens.
They had heated doghouse as well😂 Like actual heating system my dad made because the winter is harsh there.

And it sounds like the op lives somewhere with a good sized garden and space for a heated doghouse etc🙄

pictish · 17/05/2019 06:48

Sounds to me like he has mental health issues. I can understand you feel uncomfortable about his odd behaviour...the delusion and paranoia that neighbours have been littering his house...and the magnifying glass structure...but I think being unable to sleep is disproportionately upset about him. I’m not sure why you think he will break in and hurt your cats.

I have a bit of experience in dealing with people with mental illness and in this situation my advice would be to ignore him unless he approaches you and/or becomes aggressive. Then you would be justified in calling the police. At the moment he’s not specifically doing anything to you other than hanging about outside and appearing chaotic. Oh and putting random crap in your bin...which is annoying but not high on the list of endangering behaviours.

People who are ill can be frightening because their behaviour seems outlandish and without logic. They sometimes behave in ways that defy social norms. I understand your unease, it is ok to feel the way you do...but don’t fret over him to the point of not sleeping. Speak to police for advice. There probably isn’t a whole lot you can do about him but they can possibly reassure you that they are at hand in the unlikely event they are needed.

pictish · 17/05/2019 06:51

Our dog was always happy hanging out in the garden. I mean, he could come in if he wanted but he did like to keep an eye on the goings on outside. He wasn’t a barky boy though.
Dogs like being outside. What’s the biggy about the dogs?

category12 · 17/05/2019 06:56

But how do owners know their dogs aren't barky, if they sod off and leave them out all day? They don't, they just assume their behaviour is the same as when they're in. While the neighbours get treated to bark bark bark bark bark bark all day.

pictish · 17/05/2019 07:01

If it was bark bark bark bark bark all day long, someone would have lost their shit and told OP by now, I’m sure.

category12 · 17/05/2019 07:06

Lot of people don't give a shit if they are told, or deny it. Or the immediate neighbours aren't bothered but others are bug don't know which house it is. Like a friend of mine who's got limited mobility and there's a dog on her estate somewhere that does this, but she's got no idea whose it is.

pictish · 17/05/2019 07:11

But now you’re inventing scenarios about the dogs to no purpose...this thread isn’t about the dogs.
Nvm the dogs.

BrainScience · 17/05/2019 07:19

Gorilla glue is good. I’ve never tried it for making a magnifying glass wall but it worked well in my dc’s dolls house.

It could be spice. There are lots of ‘spice heads’ in my local town. I’m not sure how it’s administered but it’s highly addictive and seems to turn people into zombies. Although I think living opposite someone completely monged out would be less frightening than someone who’s constructing magnifying glass walls and lobbing Molotov cocktails around. So maybe it’s meth. But I’ve just woken up.

flameycakes · 17/05/2019 07:22

I once had a neighbour similar living upstairs from us for a few months he kept chickens and a cockerel in a one bedroom flat, he also used to nick our bin bags, we figured he was looking for dog ends to smoke, I did feel rather sorry for him.

category12 · 17/05/2019 07:27

I'm not inventing scenarios. Dogs are annoying when they bark outside. They do do it. I wouldn't keep going on about it if it wasn't something occurring.

strawberrisc · 17/05/2019 07:30

I REALLY need to see that magnifying glass wall.

EverybodysTalkingAtMe · 17/05/2019 07:36

How do you make the leap of reasoning that because he is a drug user, he would want to hurt your cats? What possible line of thought brought that about?

Hermano · 17/05/2019 07:40

I used to live above a junkie / dealer. Sounds weird now but it never occurred to me to call the police. Apart from anything else I didn't have any proof, it was just obvious. He looked like the walking dead, bruises / pock marks often infected all over his arms, and visitors who looked similar came by often.

He started stealing my post. I suspected when ebay things didn't turn up.

Then he died and one of his customers threw a brick through my window in the middle of the night. I called the police then - terrifying! They were with me in under 10 mins, broke the door down to his flat and told me he'd died (I didn't know before) and also gave me a handful of my missing post!

He didn't care me tbh, but I was a brave student living in a as-then rough part of London, and I thought it was cool and edgy.

We shared a garden. He never went in it, but he easily could have come along to my bbqs. That had only just occurred to me... Lots of wannabee hipsters too polite to be nervous about him robbing them

Tbh I was slightly relieved when I heard he's died, but that was only in retrospect after the brick through window

Innersmellbow · 17/05/2019 07:41

When you watch him through the magic magnifying wall is he really really tiny?

DaffoDeffo · 17/05/2019 07:42

and you want to sleep with him?

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I nearly wept with laughter on my commute and everyone is looking at me

DaffoDeffo · 17/05/2019 07:47

He seems quite ingenious. Are you sure it was a Molotov cocktail? It could have been a smoking meth contraption

Lol at him looking tiny through his wall of magnifying glasses

I'm not even sure where he found 15 of them or how he stuck them together. Where did the handles go?

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 17/05/2019 08:14

And it sounds like the op lives somewhere with a good sized garden and space for a heated doghouse etc🙄

Why couldn't OP have an adequate size garden? Just becuase there is a smackhead libing on the street?
Laso, there is no need for heated doghouse in UK. It's not like night winter temperatures reach - 20🤷‍♀️

A single dog might be more prone to barking, but 2 dogs will make each other busy enough not to spend all day yapping. I don't understand why people in UK think it's fine to keep big dogs locked in all day instead of having them outside so they can go to toilet etc whenever they need to.
Again. When dogs are used to being outside, they don't bark all day.

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 17/05/2019 08:14

Omg. Sorry for that typos. Working my way through first coffee🙈 Need an edit button...

category12 · 17/05/2019 08:55

When dogs are used to being outside, they don't bark all day.

Tell that to my mate. Single bark, pause, bark, pause, bark, pause, bark, pause, bark, pause, bark...

Medievalist · 17/05/2019 08:55

Why couldn't OP have an adequate size garden? Just becuase there is a smackhead libing on the street?

Not because there is a smackhead across the street, no. Because she lives in council housing (I presume that's what she means by government housing) and they tend not to have big gardens.

A single dog might be more prone to barking, but 2 dogs will make each other busy enough not to spend all day yapping

Tell that to my two ...

Passthecherrycoke · 17/05/2019 09:22

The meth addict lives in council housing. OP hasn’t said whether she does

I completely agree with this:

“Okay, I can appreciate why you’re anxious but try to stay calm. He’s doing meth so he’s probably totally paranoid and much more scared of you than you are of him. He’s probably not going to break into your house because they tend to do that sort of thing a distance from their own home so it’s less obvious who did it. Get an anti tamper letterbox, a good smoke alarm, a London bar and a decent mortise lock.”

I can’t see that he’s really done anything to indicate a robbery, dog murder etc might be on the cards. I doubt he’s organised enough to think about it tbh. He’s displaying paranoid behaviour, not committing crimes for money.

He’ll be gone in a month. No point doing much at all really. What would the police do? No one can “solve” this bloke, he’ll just be moved on elsewhere. And as for burglar alarms etc... unless you’re putting one in anyway it would be bonkers

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 17/05/2019 09:26

You know you can train dogs, right? And provide enough things to keep them busy so they don't just sit and bark? I mean nearly everyone in the country I grew up in has dogs, but it's REALLY rare to have them barking non stop. I don't understand why it's such an issue here tbh.

BrainScience · 17/05/2019 09:43

The older council houses round these parts have massive gardens. It’s the new builds that have tiny little prison gardens.

Medievalist · 17/05/2019 09:52

You know you can train dogs, right? And provide enough things to keep them busy so they don't just sit and bark?

Well my two are currently barking at next door's dogs so I'd be very grateful for any advice on how to stop them barking when they're in the garden. What should I do?

Tensixtysix · 17/05/2019 10:07

In answer to the OP, get yourself a Wifi camera, then you can get updates if he's anywhere near your property and download evidence.