To dob these men into their work?

[Stickywhitelovepiss]

Not a pearl clutcher in general, but am in two minds on this one...

Yesterday on the (very crammed) train home there were a group of about a dozen blokes essentially effing and blinding and cunting at top volume all the way home, just generally being very vocally laddish and objectionable. Including having a great old joke at the "jumper" who had caused the problems the line that evening.

My little cousin was with me, but I still chickened out in contronting them and as per usual did the very British thing of seething impotently instead.

They were all in their company polo shirts.

Part of me really wants to contact their company and let them know about it. Part of me thinks I'm sounding like a grumpy old women before my time.

Looking to Mumsnetters to give my head a wobble either way on this!

Surely on public transport most people know how to behave. Especially if there are children and/or old people about. I swear like a sailor at times so no pearl clutching here.

I'm torn because I would feel tempted to complain if they were being intimidating but I would feel bad about someone losing their job.

mighhtydonut

Interesting take.

Suppose a group of men (or women) were being racially offensive, or talking about a woman in an equally offensive way, or were being verbally nasty about someone with a physical or learning disability?

[Note I am not saying that they were being directly offensive to someone present at the time , because there are very clear laws to protect people from direct harassment, but in my imaginary scenario they might be commenting on someone they have seen on the platform for example.]

Would you still feel that their families need for a parent in work trumped the feelings of a person being offended and possibly very distressed by having to listen to such talk? Would you as an employer want to challenge employees wearing your company logo in a public place awhile expressing offensive, racist, sexist, or disablst views?

Where do you draw the line?

If it was of a level to be obviously intimidating to other passengers, then yes I would send the company an email. I doubt the men would be sacked, but they may be reminded not to be a twat in uniform.

I would expect to be fired or face disciplinary proceedings if I did this on way home wearing my work lanyard.

If my staff were doing that wearing their work clothing, I'd want to know.

This. It's a reputational risk for the company concerned, not a good advert at all.

I can quite understand why someone on their own with a child wouldn't want to speak up to the men involved - and it is intimidating - no matter how widely travelled you are.

Decent companies would take this seriously and, if nothing else, will take the opportunity to remind their staff that while they are identifiable as employees their behaviour must be impeccable.

If nobody challenges this laddish behaviour people will continue to feel intimidated. You don't need to give descriptions, or provide footage, nobody needs to lose their job over this. But a suitably worded communication to the company asking them to remind their staff that their actions have an impact on those around them will do. We all live in this society and I'm a bit fed up with people acting like they're the only people who matter.

@Eliza9919

Of course I don't think all construction workers are loud mouthed yobs, it was just an example of how there are behaviour expectations that people have signed up to via their employment, that may be relevant. I've experienced similarly yobbish behaviour from 'men in suits in the city' but they don't tend to be identifiable from their workwear.

As well as within people's contract with their own employment, there are certain industries, such as construction, that may have had image problems in the past that have schemes in place to ensure that they present a more socially acceptable image, for example there is probably not a woman alive who hasn't been sexually harassed while walking past a building site, but agreeing to not behave in such a manner is a condition of employment and failing to do so a disciplinary issue.

I agree that someone being sacked is a disproportionate response to the incident, but do people who think the OP should not complain, think that this behaviour was reasonable, whether they were in certain workwear or not?

triggered by banter
This phrase speaks volumes about you @DontTreadOnMe. It's just vacuous. OP wasn't describing harmless banter.

Definitely report, why should they be allowed to behave in such an intimidating way, especially where kids are around? Most companies would have specific rules about this.

I would report them but I'm not sure whether they'd be able to work out who they were. They are wearing a uniform, so of course they should be reported.

I've reported poor driving twice, both companies were very responsive.

We reported a lorry driver we were behind once as he did something really stupid on purpose. He could have caused a bad accident.

I’ve reported utilities contractors to their employer before after they were shouting lewd comments at a bunch of girls who were very clearly under 18. It was hot, they were in shorts and strap tops, I don’t care, they have a right to walk down the street without harassment.

I don’t particularly care about what happened to the individuals concerned (I can’t imagine much).

Difficult to tell on this one without being there but I’d be tempted, it sounds intimidating.

Personally, if they annoyed me that much I would make a note never to buy their boss's goods or services if I could help it.

Way worse than reporting the behaviour to the company, imo.

If you really wanted to, you could keep it vague and just ask the company to remind employees that they are representing their company when in uniform and to be mindful of what they say and how they act.

You don't have to give specifics (ie time and location) that why no individual can be disciplined but the company can issue a company wide memo about the behaviour?

Where DH works this is a sackable offence. Their contract explicitly states a code of conduct when in uniform (and it is a small company). So yes I'd complain. Nothing may come of it but you will feel better!

We should not have to tolerate unsociable behaviour. Society would be much nicer if people behaved better!

TBH, I would. If it's a small company they'll probably know who the guys are, but as there's no actual evidence the company probably can't do much. What they can do is give a general reminder that while in company uniform they have to behave, and the boss can do a private "I know who you are" style warning to each of them.

No one's career is in jeopardy here, but if any of them want a career then they will have to watch their own behaviour a bit more. Win-win.

It is all so subjective

Ricky Gervais: “Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right”

I would do what Nesssie just wrote.

I don't agree with posters who say that can swear and say what they ever they want.

The men in my family can be quite loud and swear when they are together but in public they behave in a polite and sensible manner. I don't know many people who would think someone committing suicide is hilarious either.

As a small business owner I would certainly want to be advised of potentially upsetting behaviour whilst wearing identifiable company workwear.
I was delighted to be contacted by a member of the public who saw one of my drivers helping out at an incident he saw happening as he was stopped at traffic lights, so would also expect to receive negative feedback if upset were caused.
The employees involved would not lose their jobs but would be reminded to respect the public.

It does make me livid that people can just behave as obnoxiously as they like these days without care or consequence.
This has always been the case and is nothing to do with nowadays. . You are angry because you didn’t do the right thing which was to politely ask them to be quieter.

The company will care. Many years ago I worked for a large company, my MD watchedcut a liveried driver cut up and fork an elderly woman on a round about. We had a large contract with the firm worth £££, he pulled it and cited their employees behaviour as one of the reasons. He said he wouldn't associate his company with a company whose employees had so little respect.

Ricky Gervais: “Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right”

I love Ricky Gervais and applies sometimes. Not in this case. (I am right).

BarbaraofSevillle Thu 16-May-19 12:54:56
for example there is probably not a woman alive who hasn't been sexually harassed while walking past a building site, but agreeing to not behave in such a manner is a condition of employment and failing to do so a disciplinary issue.

Again with the assumptions about construction workers.

I've worked on building sites for 20 years and have never once been sexually harassed or heard of it happening. I've been a resident liaison officer so any complaints from the public about any operatives would come to me, and I've never had one complaint. When walking around site, I've never once heard any catcalling or lewd comments either.

I work for the NHS and when in greens we are not allowed to behave in a certain way (smoke etc) even on lunch break. We are taught that our uniform, lanyard etc identifies us and we represent the NHS and so to behave in a certain way while wearing the uniform. I would possibly send an email to the company concerned asking them to remind staff to behave responsibly while wearing the uniform and leave it at that. I doubt any action will be taken against the individuals but it may make staff at the company aware that this is happening and they can deal with prevention.

YABU if you had asked them to refrain from swearing and they didn't or they were abusive to others you may have a point but it was adults having an adult conversation.

Don't be a dobber

Yeah viques but as that wasn’t the situation here why is that at all relevant?

I do love all the MN snobbery assuming they were all minions but if they’re a small company it’s quite likely the bosses/managers were there too and DGAF.

You should have said something at the time OP, not expected their employer to compensate for your lack of backbone. I can’t bear this modern learned helplessness where people can’t do a damn thing for themselves and always expect an authority figure to step in and sort every tiny problem or issue.

No. You'll look like a total case if you report and don't have phone footage.