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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

ExDH family demanding to know where trust fund is after 8yrs

143 replies

RossPoldarksWife · 15/05/2019 13:53

Long story but, divorced from ex’s for 2yrs, he then took his own life when DD was 6yrs. His family in and out her life as and when they can be bothered. Not much contact. Left to me to put our lives back together. He left a pension and lump sum to dd, which was invested and not been touched. Currently worth a nice nest egg for her. She has no idea that it is there.

Roll on 8yrs, dd nearly 15yrs, got an amazing chance to go America with her cousins on my side, without me, just aunt, uncle, two cousins and dd.
I couldn’t afford to pay but DP of 5yrs said he would.
Dd and cousins obviously very excited, talking about it on Facebook.
Cue exh brother calling her and asking how it’s being paid for. She replies DP is. He then proceeded to tell her that there is money in trust for her, she denies as she obviously had no idea. He then accused me of using it to her. She then has some questions for me.

Now I’m being accused of spending her money by uncle, and have had to show her the account to prove otherwise. I am refusing to show him.
He says he is taking me to court for spending her inheritance.

She is fine with it and after talking to her why I kept it quiet, is happy to leave it where it is for her future.

AIBU in thinking it’s none of his business and he shouldn’t have told her about the trust fund.?

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 15/05/2019 13:55

Obviously absolutely none of his business and he is has been crass. I would ignore him completely at this point and block his number.

Wonkydonkey44 · 15/05/2019 13:55

None of their business !

Happyspud · 15/05/2019 13:56

Get him to take you to court😂 He’ll waste his money and look like an idiot. Win win.

I’m sorry your DD has had a difficult start with everything that has happened with her father. Last thing she needs is an asshole uncle.

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2019 13:57

Well, I suppose he was right to want to check that it was safe. He shouldn’t have told her, but I can see how it happened. Who are the trustees?

YesimstillwatchingNetflix · 15/05/2019 13:58

None of his business. If he wants to waste his money having a lawyer tell him that, let him.

He was out of line telling her, but it sounds like you've raised a sensible young person who can cope with it all.

cstaff · 15/05/2019 13:58

Ignore him - definitely none of his business. Let him take you to court if he wants. All that is going to do is cost him money and he will get no benefit from it.

Longdistance · 15/05/2019 13:59

Tell that cunt that it’s none of his damned business and to keep his nose out. It wasn’t his call to tell her she had a trust fund.
Let him take you to court, he’ll have egg all over his face. And as for how much is in there, not his business it’s being nosey. Cut him out of your lives, awful man.

Oliversmumsarmy · 15/05/2019 13:59

Why is he taking you to court?

Surely he must have proof to even get it to court otherwise it is just bluster

Nearlythere1 · 15/05/2019 14:00

It has absolutely nothing to do with him and no, he was not right to be checking it was safe.

theworldistoosmall · 15/05/2019 14:00

None of his business. I wouldn't show him a thing and let him take you to court.

RossPoldarksWife · 15/05/2019 14:01

Thank you for your replies.
She is an amazing well balanced girl. I am very proud of her.
It was invested in an account for 10yrs and couldn’t be touched. So is due to be released next August.
I just feel that after not really being bothered about her for 8yrs, it’s a bit rich trying to show concern now.

OP posts:
PinkHeartLovesCake · 15/05/2019 14:04

Well you know your not a evil mother that stole her child’s money so just ignore!

Surely it has an age limit on the trust fund? (My dc trust funds do have) so telling dd is fine as she wouldn’t be able to touch it yet anyway. at 15 I would of told her myself ages ago anyway. It was a gift from her dead father, of course she should of been told. She will never get to know him but he loved her enough to leave her what he did have

RossPoldarksWife · 15/05/2019 14:04

oliversmum
They knew he had a pension because of previous employment. He was his brother so I imagine they may have talked about it in the past?

OP posts:
theworldistoosmall · 15/05/2019 14:06

I also wonder if he's sniffing around for some of the cash hence his sudden interest.

KoalaTea · 15/05/2019 14:07

he's not going to get very far is he, because you know you haven't.

Ignore him.

PrincessScarlett · 15/05/2019 14:08

Agree that it is absolutely none of his business. I'd be very surprised if he can take you to court. Ignore/block his number.

RossPoldarksWife · 15/05/2019 14:08

theworld
He already tried this when his brothers debts came to light. Because he was next of kin the debtors went to him. He tried to tell them I was the next of kin.

OP posts:
OKBobble · 15/05/2019 14:11

Creditors cannot pursue debts from a next of kin anyway!!

churchthecat · 15/05/2019 14:13

So he's popped up trying to figure a way to get some cash out of you it looks like.

Ignore him.

Drum2018 · 15/05/2019 14:13

Surely your dd was next of kin?

I'd be putting that money away for another few years and not letting dd access it in August. The uncle could well be trying to get his hands on some. How were the debts not paid out of his estate before your dd got her share?

PigletJohn · 15/05/2019 14:14

it might have been an inheritance mentioned in the will. The executors would have been responsible unless other trustees are named. The will is a public document so anyone can see it, especially legatees who are usually given a copy, or, I suppose, anybody inquisitive.

My father died when I was at school and left some money which the executors invested until I was of age. AFAIK it is not unusual.

frazzledasarock · 15/05/2019 14:14

They can’t but they try.

Travis1 · 15/05/2019 14:14

They would have been looking for payment from the estate @okbobble

Yup tell him to feck off. Sod all to do with him

RossPoldarksWife · 15/05/2019 14:18

pigletjohn
Yes it was done by the will. I chose to invest it in an account with high interest for ten years. I suppose not really a trust fund.

She has agreed with me to lock it away for another 5yrs.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 15/05/2019 14:19

'You absolutely disgust me. Fuck off, forever.'

Then let the shit do what he likes.