Is £350 per week enough to live on (family of 5)?

[DiscontinuedModelHusband]

DW and I are struggling a bit financially.
Over the last few months, we just seem to be treading water - no additional money saved, credit card/overdraft debt not reducing.

I've worked out that after all our normal bills, mortgage, credit cards, regular kids activities, savings etc we should have about £1400 per month to live on (for food, clothes, presents, eating out etc).

DW thinks this is unreasonable, and that I should ask my parents for help (they are fairly well off, but by no means wealthy).

My argument is that asking my parents is not really a sustainable solution in the long-term - I think we need to fix our spending habits.

She's now not speaking to me , because she thinks my pride is the problem.

There is a smidgen of truth to this - DW and my parents have a frosty relationship, meaning we barely see them (perhaps once per fortnight, for a meal - mainly DW's choice).

I feel uncomfortable asking them for financial help when they don't really get many normal grandparent benefits (proper time with GCs, they never get to holiday with us, GCs have never stayed at their house etc).

Our relationship is largely financial as it is (they help with school trips, uniform, have lent us money in the past), and I dislike this very much (I don't think my parents love it either, but have always been happy to help).

Should I just swallow my pride here?

Or should we try and sort things ourselves?
Is this even possible for £350 per month?

And I'm sorry to say that it sounds like your wife is only with you for the money.

That's more than enough. It wouldn't go quite so far if leg waxing, nails and other such stuff were included though. I think living within your means would be the best way here.

😂😂 This can't be a serious post!? £1400 is not much less than my entire monthly income

I agree with @ssd. It’s glaringly obvious.

It depends how much of this 'disposable' income is going on paying debts. If high levels of debt are a problem, get proper help with those. (IF you have, on paper, £350 a week to spend on food, clothes, etc but £300 of it is going out to high-interest loan repayments then you do have a problem.)

I really don't get how any family can get in debts with so much disposable income. We're a family of 4, less disposable income and no debts instead increasing our savings.

I wonder how much OP's parents proportional spend is that they can manage to have enough to share.

Genuinely DW doesn't sound very nice OP. I would probably be a bit more like "either we are better with money or we separate if you really dont like it" because shes being rude to you demanding you get money from your parents who she doesn't make any time for and clearly doesn't like. Dont be a door mat or you'll end up down a rabbit hole of debt with no way out and then sods law she will leave you or something. Be tough OP.

Martin Lewis website, step change debt management.
Cut up credit cards, make agreement with company/ies to stop interest and pay off asap. Interest is dead money. Speak to other creditors and work out payment plan, extend mortgage if you have to.
You are quite well off, just cut back until debts paid, surprisingly quick if you prioritise it. Review in 3 months.

We are a family of 3 and have around 2700 left after main bills (not including food) and we save approx 1200 and live off the other 1500 for food, petrol, clothes, eating out, etc.

By no means would I say that's struggling, we don't go without anything! And we probably shouldn't eat out as often as we do.

You definitely don't need more. You could do a food shop for 100 a week if you plan well and make the most of the offers that week. Meal plan in advance.

Your DW is being extremely unreasonable here. Don't ask your parents for money, you need to live within your means and you can still do plenty with 350 a week.

Do you think your wife would take it badly if you said no?

I wish I had £1400 per month after paying my rent, bills and credit cards!! After all the necessary bills are paid in my house the 3 of us have £50 per week for food, leaving a grand total of £100 per month for luxuries .... we just have to manage, some months are bloody hard!!

We have over £1000 a month after all bills , mortgage etc have been paid. We don't struggle but we are still careful as it is very easy to fritter and waste money on pointless stuff.

With £1400 at your disposal there is no excuse for racking up debts and having nothing saved. Seriously. You need to alter your priorities and get serious about managing your money.

You should be able to live very well on the £1400 a month after all your bills are paid.

The fact you have said you have a lot of debt suggest you and your wife spend far to much money on stuff that is not needed.

You need to sort your debt out and your spending. It really doesn't how much you earn or have leftover after bill if your both waste money.

You both need to figure out a budget and stick with it, and concentrate on clearing your debt.

I think you’re getting a hard time OP.
Not everyone is good at managing money and I’d you didn’t need to before because of a much higher salary, then it may be a small shock to the system to suddenly have to start budgeting.
Either that or you are a troll and I am very gullible

Is the frostiness with your parents caused by your DW? What is it based on?

I think it would be outrageous to ask your parents to subsidise your lifestyle. You are hardly poor, or suffering an emergency. Your DW's attitude is out of order.

If it is pride that stops you asking, quite right! Grown ups should have enough pride and self respect not to go begging for money to support themselves when they have enough to manage.

What is it about your parents that prompts your DW to be frosty with them? Or are you also frosty with them?

It would also be outrageous to expect them to contribute even if they did see the kids all the tome. The children are family members not a PAYG attraction.

What a load of bollocks

We have about that in disposable income a month after mortgage, bills, train fare, private school fees and our savings. I consider us to be incredibly lucky and fortunate to be able to have a nice house and afford school fees and be able to save (which is mainly for said school fees) and still have enough for a meal out occasionally, groups and activities for the kids etc. I feel like I’m living a great life. We tend to buy a lot of kids toys etc second hand. I’d wonder why you would spend all your savings on a holiday when you have a lot of debt. We don’t have any debt besides mortgage but also we don’t go on expensive holidays, we have to save a certain amount for school and the yearly train ticket and have another savings account for long term savings. You have to pay off your debt, it’s that simple. You could easily live off that money, we get a large butchers delivery every few months for the chest freezer and only make meals from that, no random buying of ready meals or expensive packs of chicken breast etc. veg from the market is amazingly cheap, and the rest is from Aldi. Don’t go on holiday if you can’t afford it, or go on a smaller cheaper one. Look out for free family activities on the weekend, cancel gym memberships etc if you have them.

I think that’s plenty to live on per week / month

I do think it’s wrong the way you are treating your parents - they are good enough to pay for school trips and uniforms but not good enough to have a relationship with your children?

I would be ashamed to treat my parents like that - either they are part or your children’s lives or you should keep them at arms length but no longer have the cheek to ask for them to subsidise them when it’s convenient to you & your wife

I would cry with joy at that much spare money! It's not nice that your wife is putting you under this pressure, is she a money grabber?!

You can’t be asking for help of other people whilst managing to budget for “savings” in your £1400 figure. Imagine lending someone your savings to find out they’d been managing to squirrel away savings all along.

I think your wife has her priorities all screwed up, can’t be anything more than the bare minimum of civil but still wants to get her hands on their money. CF.

Your wife is mad because you won’t ask your parents for money despite you having MORE than enough to live on? Something odd there.

5 of you- rough ages of kids?

£100/150 per week on food (maximum) leaving £200 per week for anything else you need. Why on earth is that not enough?

Also, when you say "normal bills", a lot of that is probably going to be somewhat "elective".

Do normal bills include cars, mobile phones, holidays … I bet there's stacks of scope to reduce your outgoings.

That’s fifty quid a day... that isn’t poor.

Honestly, I could do it with £350 a month, never mind per week. That is plenty of disposable income and you aren't going to suffer any hardships on it.

It’s very doable I have that with dh, 2 soon to be 3 kids and a cat. We have savings, very little debt and holidays every year plus own our house and run a car. I think your right in that spending is the issue not income. I would look closely at things like food shopping, clothes, days out, add on spending like lunches out, coffees etc. I would then draw a budget up around this and cut back where you can. You don’t need help from your parents. I notice you say they don’t get GP privaleges why not? Are these being blocked? Surely they should be entitled to spend quality time right the grandkids.

Yep also agree with @ssd, this stink of the daily fail.