Is £350 per week enough to live on (family of 5)?

[DiscontinuedModelHusband]

DW and I are struggling a bit financially.
Over the last few months, we just seem to be treading water - no additional money saved, credit card/overdraft debt not reducing.

I've worked out that after all our normal bills, mortgage, credit cards, regular kids activities, savings etc we should have about £1400 per month to live on (for food, clothes, presents, eating out etc).

DW thinks this is unreasonable, and that I should ask my parents for help (they are fairly well off, but by no means wealthy).

My argument is that asking my parents is not really a sustainable solution in the long-term - I think we need to fix our spending habits.

She's now not speaking to me , because she thinks my pride is the problem.

There is a smidgen of truth to this - DW and my parents have a frosty relationship, meaning we barely see them (perhaps once per fortnight, for a meal - mainly DW's choice).

I feel uncomfortable asking them for financial help when they don't really get many normal grandparent benefits (proper time with GCs, they never get to holiday with us, GCs have never stayed at their house etc).

Our relationship is largely financial as it is (they help with school trips, uniform, have lent us money in the past), and I dislike this very much (I don't think my parents love it either, but have always been happy to help).

Should I just swallow my pride here?

Or should we try and sort things ourselves?
Is this even possible for £350 per month?

Start budgeting properly, take control of spending so you know where your money goes, make sure you understand what's necessary (food) and what's luxury (eating out). £1400/month should be more than enough.

Gosh, we budget £1000 a month for food, general expenses, eating out etc, and I think we're fairly flush! Granted we also save a good chunk, and have no debts, so we don't have to worry about any debt repayments, and have unexpected bills covered from savings. But even so, you have 40% more than us per month and think it is tight?

No, I wouldn't be asking parents.

Your wife sounds horrible and very entitled. If she wants more, she needs to find a way to earn more.

I would take some of the advice you have been given above, ie, check your direct debits/subscriptions for things you don't need anymore. Then I would think about maybe looking at a cheaper supermarket to do your shopping in, it makes a real difference. Create a gap in your spending and the £350 then throw that difference at your debt. If you can clear it and the interest that you pay on this then things will get easier.

I get your DW is used to a better lifestyle but she does need to get a reality check in the kindest possible way. Her in-laws do not owe her anything and considering the relationship this is even more the case! If she worked on improving things with them then she still cannot expect money but at least they would take the kids out for day trips which will save you money and make them all a bit happier!

Stand your ground, you are not in dire circumstances and can get yourself out of it without dragging your parents into this.

You need to organise your finances OP.
Start an excel spreadsheet detailing income and expenditure. Total up all of your debts and note their interest rates. Come up with a budget and start paying debt off. Look on moneysavingexpert.com for advice (their debt fee wannabe forum is very good as well)

350 quid is more than enough for a family of 5 to live on and you would be pathetic at your ages to go running to mummy and daddy for help id you were even had half that. Grow up and tell your cheeky mare of a wife to get a job if she needs more money.

Another one saying managing in £350 per week should be a doddle. Your wife is being ridiculous in suggesting you ask your parents for financial help. You are both adults. Even if you were struggling financially it isn't your parents' responsibility to dole out money to you. You need to cut your cloth accordingly.

You say this is the amount you have left after bills, savings etc. What I would suggest is instead of having savings, to redirect those savings into paying down/off credit cards and any other debt. The interest you will be paying on credit cards far outweighs any interest you will receive in savings. Also, don't have another holiday until your debts are paid off. You can't afford them if you are in debt.

We are a family of three (youngest is only a toddler though) DH and I have about £1700 left each month after bills not including food. We live on about £600 of that for ‘entertainment’ (and the rest is being saved for us/son’s future/ paying off debt that’s on 0%) and actually, we both usually have money left over at the end of the month.

It's enough.

You won't be eating out every night or living lavishly but you won't be scrimping too much.

Sorry that’s £1700 per month after bills and food.

I don't know how much it costs to run your life, but the problem looks to me is that yourself and wife have completely different ways with money.

This can be sorted out. She seems to think she can spend everything and go to your pass machine parents when it runs out. To you that is not financial planning.

You just need to keep sitting down and talking to her over and over, until she understands what is coming in and out and what the plan is.

It must be very frustrating for you.

I don't even bring home your disposable income and keep 3 adults and a cat on it.

To give you some context - there are two of us in this household. Due to illness we are temporarily in financial dire straits. After paying mortgage, essential bills and fuel we are living on £70 per week. Aldi is our friend.
In other words we have nothing much for activities or savings - which I now see you pay before you have £1400 left! Oh, and £1400 us also after paying our credit credit cards... no wonder your parents aren't throwing money at you.

It always mystifies me how some people can be so useless with money, and seemingly low on the intelligence scale to blow such a huge amount of money, yet they have somehow managed to snare a great paying job. Dumb luck or serious tunnel vision and a lack of transferable skills between professional and private lives?

I just don't get it. Whilst i'm sure its not your intention OP, i kind of find your post insulting to people that are genuinely struggling on low incomes, and dare i say it, benefits.

I don't even earn that before bills, etc.

No wonder she has a frosty relationship with her PILs. She sounds pretty dreadful.

You intentionally been Goady OP? £350 p/w and you are struggling?

"It's enough.

You won't be eating out every night or living lavishly but you won't be scrimping too much."

FFS they hvae £1400 per month to play with after they've paid for kids activities, credit cards... pretty much everything apart from food and having fun. That's a bit more than enough isn't it?

I'm sorry, but if you needed parent support cause you were struggling with your mortgage or putting food on the table then I would say yes, in the short time. But no way can you ask for more money just to maintain your lifestyle.
Take 3 months worth of bank statements and categorise into spending habits and see where you can save. With the current interest rates, make sure you are clearing debts rather than savings - or halve your savings and use the rest for debts.
£350 a month is a good amount of money to live on a week - especially as this seems to after all outgoings. So this is just for food and having fun.
We are in a family of 4 and have a great life with £350 a week. We are good earners (Total £90k gross), but we live within our means. No overdraft, no credit cards. And every year we monitor our spend and budget accordingly. We have just finished a large extension project which we have saved for, and this year will be camping for our holiday as we can't have it all.

As an aside, I think seeing grandparents once a fortnight is quite regular!! But that's cause we live miles from our parents and wish our DC could see them this often!!

That actually sounds like a LOT to live on, if all your bills are paid etc. Have you calculated an income / expenditure to see where the money is going?

Consider a monthly shop and then do a small weekly shop for fresh foods, veg, fruit, milk etc. Also consider changing your supermarket as you can easily pay far more than you need to by shopping in certain supermarkets.

I have less than £350 a MONTH and I don't feel skint!!!!

I thought you were meaning before bills and was thinking 'a bit too tight tbh' - not that that amount is AFTER bills

I live off £1600 a month that includes paying rent childcare costs, everything. To have £1400 a month spare just to buy food and goodies seems a good lifestyle not even a scrimpy one

No you can not rely on your parents to fund your lifestyle forever and you should tell your DW to stop being so bloody grabby. She sounds like a spoilt brat. Wants a nice life but wants people that she doesn't even have a decent relationship to fund it?

If you can't manage to buy food and luxuries for £350 a week you need a dose of reality. We are a family of 5 and we live on half of that and still manage treats. Even when I do a massive shop full of big things like washing liquid etc it's not more than £150 for a week.

Omg another 'well off' couple moaning about money. You are better off than the majority in this country. Get over yourselves and budget.