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Original poster

Is £350 per week enough to live on (family of 5)?

331 replies

DiscontinuedModelHusband · 14/05/2019 10:18

DW and I are struggling a bit financially.
Over the last few months, we just seem to be treading water - no additional money saved, credit card/overdraft debt not reducing.

I've worked out that after all our normal bills, mortgage, credit cards, regular kids activities, savings etc we should have about £1400 per month to live on (for food, clothes, presents, eating out etc).

DW thinks this is unreasonable, and that I should ask my parents for help (they are fairly well off, but by no means wealthy).

My argument is that asking my parents is not really a sustainable solution in the long-term - I think we need to fix our spending habits.

She's now not speaking to me , because she thinks my pride is the problem.

There is a smidgen of truth to this - DW and my parents have a frosty relationship, meaning we barely see them (perhaps once per fortnight, for a meal - mainly DW's choice).

I feel uncomfortable asking them for financial help when they don't really get many normal grandparent benefits (proper time with GCs, they never get to holiday with us, GCs have never stayed at their house etc).

Our relationship is largely financial as it is (they help with school trips, uniform, have lent us money in the past), and I dislike this very much (I don't think my parents love it either, but have always been happy to help).

Should I just swallow my pride here?

Or should we try and sort things ourselves?
Is this even possible for £350 per month?

OP posts:
redwoodmazza · 14/05/2019 10:30

There are several Apps that can help you prioritise your spending and see where the money is going. This might be less confrontational?

Littlepond · 14/05/2019 10:31

Why have you blown all your savings on a holiday if you have debt?
£1400 a month after bills is a comfortable amount. You need to look at your spending habits.
I agree with pp that you can’t ask your parents to subsidise your social life!!!

InTheEndgameNow · 14/05/2019 10:33

£350 a week is loads. We're a family of four and we don't skimp on the food shop and for us it ranges between £100 and £150 per week. We probably spend another £200 at the most of eating out, activities, presents etc. If that.

I can't believe you're actually considering asking your parents for extra. You need to get your priorities straight. Stop eating out if you can't afford it.

HelloYouTwo · 14/05/2019 10:35

normal bills, mortgage, credit cards, regular kids activities, savings etc

What do you mean by normal bills?
Does credit cards mean paying off the whole card (so what you spent last month on food, groceries, clothes) or paying off the minimum from old debts?

What are regular kids activities?
What savings each month?

If you are saving and simultaneously paying off debts, you need to prioritise the debts.

If you can afford a holiday, can you really ask your parents for money?

Do you have champagne tastes on a lemonade budget?

Original poster
DiscontinuedModelHusband · 14/05/2019 10:36

I'm not pleading poverty by any means - i know we are extremely fortunate.

Part of the issue is that I had a change in working circumstance a couple of years ago, and my salary reduced significantly as well as losing bonuses/stock-based pay.

Reducing our outgoings to match this income drop has lagged quite a lot (DCs becoming teenagers), hence the debt situation.

I'm kind of stuck where I am at the moment, so no opportunity to find a better paying job for the next year or so.

DW could find another job, but likely would only get the same money anyway.

I'm somewhat reassured by your responses so far.
Thank you!

OP posts:
regmover · 14/05/2019 10:39

You're rolling in it. Why on earth has someone said it will be tight? Sit down and plan out a proper budget that includes paying off your debt. If you are struggling because the payments on your debts soak up a big chunk of your £1400 pcm ring National Debtline and they will help sort you out.

Persimmonn · 14/05/2019 10:40

£1400 a month disposable income, and your wife wants more from your parents? Wtf. Tell her to get another part time job if she’s that desperate.

NoBaggyPants · 14/05/2019 10:40

What are you/ your family spending all the money on?

holliethehousewife · 14/05/2019 10:40

In my opinion, struggling to pay bills is a reason to ask for money, but anything else is stuff you need to work out yourselves. If people offer gifts then that's a different matter, but I wouldn't view it as reasonable to ask for money to be able to do nice things - especially, as you say, because Grandparents don't have a great relationship with you all anyway. I would try to see where you can reduce/increase income and cut your coat according to your cloth...

mabelsgarden · 14/05/2019 10:41

Something is going wrong if you are struggling on £350 a week after mortgage and bills!

WTF are you spending it all on? Confused

And as for asking your parents for more money..... Confused

I love my kids, but I'd send them packing if they came to me for handouts when they have £1,500 a month spare cash after their mortgage and bills!

Part of the issue is that I had a change in working circumstance a couple of years ago, and my salary reduced significantly as well as losing bonuses/stock-based pay.

Sounds like you have been spoilt rotten for a while, and the party is over, and now you have ONLY £1500 a month to spare, you are struggling to cope. Poor thing. Sad

Seriously tho... Get a grip!

Jemima232 · 14/05/2019 10:43

Clothes, presents and eating out? All these things are weekly occurrences?

What you're saying is that you cannot manage on £350 a week for your food shop. The other things can be knocked on the head for the moment, although unless you eat steak and lobster every day it would be hard to spend £350 a week on food.

You're being ridiculous.

Everydaypeople · 14/05/2019 10:43

Your dw has got some cheek expecting you to ask your parents for money .
Cut your cloth.

thelastgoldeneagle · 14/05/2019 10:44

DW thinks I should ask my parents for help
She's now not speaking to me
DW and my parents have a frosty relationship, meaning we barely see them (perhaps once per fortnight, for a meal - mainly DW's choice)
I feel uncomfortable asking them for financial help when they don't really get many normal grandparent benefits (proper time with GCs, they never get to holiday with us, GCs have never stayed at their house etc)

I'm not bloody surprised. Your wife sounds like a tool and a CF. She doesn't get on with your parents but is happy for them to subsidise HER DC but she doesn't allow the dc to have a normal relationship with your parents?? Cheeky, selfish cow.

Perhaps you need to stand up to her and let your dc see your parents a bit more. Do you get on with them?

Also, sit down and plan all outgoings with your wife. See where you can make cuts. She is VVVU.

regmover · 14/05/2019 10:44

Honestly you just need to sit down as responsible adults and reduce your outgoings to match your income. You are very fortunate.

Jemima232 · 14/05/2019 10:45

In fact, you could easily pay off most of your debts if you spent less on food.

STOP eating out and takeaways.

mindutopia · 14/05/2019 10:46

If it includes food shopping, then for me, no it wouldn't be enough to live on (we are a family of 4). But if that is just for luxuries and treats and personal spending after all necessary family expenses are paid, then it's probably reasonable. We have probably that much each month, but that's after food shopping. And it's plenty.

If you are struggling though, I'd be cutting down on meals out, presents, etc. and not spending savings on a holiday though.

SushiTime · 14/05/2019 10:46

We are currently spending £300 a week and 3 of us. We like you need to stop eating out so much/drinking and maybe downgrade a car. We haven't as of yet but reading this has given me a small kick up the arse.

youngestisapsycho · 14/05/2019 10:47

You're having a laugh right? We used to have £100 a week left after rent bills and essentials were paid... we had to feed 4 of us with that and buy petrol!

slashlover · 14/05/2019 10:47

You need to get a notepad or a spreadsheet and write down every penny you spend for the month. Everything. You'll be surprised just how much you spend on some things.

A £2 coffee on the way to work? That's about £40 per month.
A £12 takeaway on a Friday night? That's £50 per month gone.

I used to buy a magazine once a week, it was only £2. Is that magazine worth £100 per year to me? Nope.

Stressedout10 · 14/05/2019 10:48

Yabvu £350 per week is more than I have after childcare costs before I pay rent or any other bills learn to budget

mindutopia · 14/05/2019 10:48

But no, I wouldn't be asking your parents for money. My parents send us money from time to time (they love it, have plenty to share around, we don't ask!) and it makes me absolutely cringe. If you were desperate, that would be different. But if you are taking holidays, you aren't desperate. You could go camping for about 100 quid.

HBStowe · 14/05/2019 10:49

Of course you shouldn’t be asking your parents for help! You’re more than capable of supporting yourselves, and it’s outrageous to suggest that other people should pick up the tab for you living beyond your means. You have to fix your spending, and once you have cleared your debt you will have much more disposable income per month.

£350 per week is more than comfortable for a family of 5!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/05/2019 10:51

Seriously, with £1400 disosable income you are not struggling financially. I earn just about enought to pay my mortage and bills etc, by the time I've factored food, petrol, my DS in I don't have £350 per month. If you can't survive on that you really need to look at your spending and cut down on luxuries. I personally think it's a cheek expecting you to ask your parents, maybe she should get off her arse and help a bit more financially.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 14/05/2019 10:51

After essential bills, mortgage and food (£100-£150 a week) we have about £2100 left, £1400 goes into saving. You need to be putting a large amount a month towards your debt and not increasing it, you shouldn't have debt at that financial level unless something major happens unexpectedly and then you should be able to clear it quickly.

chocolateandpinkgin · 14/05/2019 10:51

You have £350 PER WEEK left after bills and mortgage? We don't even have that amount left per month, after all our bills. I'm genuinely baffled how you could even think that means you're short of money? You need to sit down and write down all your income and outgoings and see where it's going. Do you have a joint account or separate accounts?