Is £350 per week enough to live on (family of 5)?

[DiscontinuedModelHusband]

DW and I are struggling a bit financially.
Over the last few months, we just seem to be treading water - no additional money saved, credit card/overdraft debt not reducing.

I've worked out that after all our normal bills, mortgage, credit cards, regular kids activities, savings etc we should have about £1400 per month to live on (for food, clothes, presents, eating out etc).

DW thinks this is unreasonable, and that I should ask my parents for help (they are fairly well off, but by no means wealthy).

My argument is that asking my parents is not really a sustainable solution in the long-term - I think we need to fix our spending habits.

She's now not speaking to me , because she thinks my pride is the problem.

There is a smidgen of truth to this - DW and my parents have a frosty relationship, meaning we barely see them (perhaps once per fortnight, for a meal - mainly DW's choice).

I feel uncomfortable asking them for financial help when they don't really get many normal grandparent benefits (proper time with GCs, they never get to holiday with us, GCs have never stayed at their house etc).

Our relationship is largely financial as it is (they help with school trips, uniform, have lent us money in the past), and I dislike this very much (I don't think my parents love it either, but have always been happy to help).

Should I just swallow my pride here?

Or should we try and sort things ourselves?
Is this even possible for £350 per month?

1400 is more than some people earn! I think you're being unreasonable to even consider asking your parents. If you're struggling you clearly need to cut back on unnecessary spends.

She sounds spoilt and entitled. I would love to have £350 a week to spend. I have less than that at the end of every month. Wanting more is fine, expecting your parents to contribute is not.

We save a fair amount, but after bills etc we would actually struggle to spend £350 per week. Can you identify what it’s actually spent on? My children get a replacement of what’s needed in spring and autumn, we do nice things and go on holidays, eat well but not much in restaurants - but do grab coffees here and there. I’d say we spend max £200 after big bills. The rest is saved or invested.

Oh and sorry but what a cheeky cow expecting your parents to supplement an already good lifestyle. No wonder their relationship is frosty!

Did I read it right that you recently paid for a holiday with all your savings yet in same post you say "loads of debt"... You really have your priorities wrong.
If holiday paid for then that's too late now but really, if you have debts get them paid off.. By consolidation and regular payments.
And only when they are cleared should holidays be saved for.

Does your wife blame either you or your parents in some way for the loss of income?

I think you're a journalist looking for an easy story.......
MN up in arms as middle class couple ask if they can live on £350 a week even though grandparents sub them too!!!!!

Stroll on

Probably first time poster as well??

The fact that eating out was in your list shows you're not managing money properly. Does your dw work?

My thoughts exactly.

Eating out, takeaways and convenience foods are one of the first things to go when our purse strings are tightened.
It'd be really really cheeky to ask for money because you're hard up.....then go out to dinner

@holliethehousewife

"In my opinion, struggling to pay bills is a reason to ask for money, but anything else is stuff you need to work out yourselves."

What? No. Struggling to pay bills OR anything else is stuff you need to work out yourselves. We are all responsible for ourselves, for all decisions including financial ones.

Sorry and to add more, you’re a CF for taking money for your kids but not allowing a proper relationship between your parents and their grandchildren. You can’t take their money for trips and uniforms (with your already decent income) and give them no relationship with the kids as a return - That is actually the height of cheeky fuckery. I’m thinking perhaps that you and your wife are made for each other. Mean-spirited and greedy.

You sound like my cousin. They earn 200k between them but still live on handouts from her mum (who is on disability). She never learned how to manage her money either.

Your wife is not speaking to you because you have had enough cadging money off your parents!!

Better to be financially secure by paying off your debts than eating out at fancy-pants restaurants, with poncey bags, fancy clothes and expensively styled hair and nails.

She needs a reality check!

Tell her if she want their cash so badly she asks them herself while saying what she wants it for!

@gigglinghysterically

We all hit moments where something happens and we need help. It's okay to need that and then to work out how to prepare better for next time. Stuff happens. He's already mentioned that he changed his job and that came with significant change.

£350/week after the expenses most people would consider as living costs... yes, you should be able to live on that.

"barely see them" and "once per fortnight" - does not make sense.

Is this a wind-up?

Or better still start economising and saving for the occasional treat.

More than enough OP. If your dh can’t see that, and thinks you need a sub from your parents, he needs a big reality check

£1400 AFTER bills is an enormous amount.

Oh and when you say your parents have lent you money in the past did you see it as a convenient gift or pay them back?

You will be fine on £1400 as disposable per month after all your listed bills. I think you will find that a lot of posters here (myself included) bring approx £1400 home a month after tax to cover half if not all of their household...

You will irritate many as you are better off than average. The loss in income is not the biggest issue here it’s your wife’s demands. A change in financial circumstances is still a change even for the better off though. I had to stop working due to ill health. We are still better off than many but our income has gone down, adjustments had to be made and accepted. We will never hit the income we had before as I will never work again.

Your wife sees you as a cash cow, I’m focusing more on the actual issue here which is her behaviour. It is totally unacceptable to ask for money in your circumstances. Your wife needs a reality check. A word of warning though.

Thirty five years ago my FIL was made redundant he was international finance director for a global firm. I didn’t know DH then but he has always said his Mum fell out of love when the money ran out. I like my MIL but she has never got over not having a housekeeper and her change in circumstances. In reality she admits she married FIL due to his very good prospects.

Yes, I’d say it’s enough.

Looking forward to the plethora of “rich” bashing posts what will undoubtedly follow as everyone races to the bottom.

WE are not badly off, and have more left over each month than you. I have taken some steps to reduce our spending though some of the things we recently spent money on don't seem good value any more.
Gastro pub meals = £13.95 for a burger. stopping off for a drink - £15.50 for 3 pints. The cinema for the sake of it. I generally end up thinking the meals weren't great the pub was crowded and noise and that if i'd thought a bit harder I could have enjoyed myself more for less. In the summer it will be bike rides and a picnic, friends round for a simple meal and maybe some open air theatre (some times that is free) most cities open their historic buildings in September for minimal charge. Does your wife spend a lot on clothes and beaut stuff/treatments - those gobble up the money like nothing else.

I haven't read the whole thread but if you post a list of your expenses I'm sure some of us can make some suggestions to help. I find it helps me if I budget for Christmas and Birthdays with a small monthly transfer to my savings account, then get it out when needed.

😂😂😂 I've heard it all now. We have about £250 per week after mortgage and bills and we feel bloody rich tbh, try to save a couple of hundred of it a month. £350 per week is not in any way a tight budget, this is unbelievable!

You aren't struggling though

You have 1400 after bills, so you can really comfortably pay your bills there and you have loads left to pay for food, excess transport, clothes. You aren't struggling, you maybe spending too much but that's not struggling, that's just spending too much.

You can't ask for help with that amount of disposable income ffs! I would say only acceptable to ask for help if a) you couldn't afford food one month b) you coudlnt afford essential bills or c) something for the children if you can't afford it.

You can't just ask for help randomly.