To allow my 10 yr old DS cook dinner every day

[NobbyD]

DS is 10 and massively into cooking. He pretty much thinks, reads and watches everything there is to know about cooking, baking and cuisine. He's a little chef in the making.

He started cooking dinners once a week for us, then got the buzz and now pretty much plans our weekly meals using recipes from Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey and the like. He makes breakfast and dinner every single day. And I'm not talking bung in the oven, or jar stuff. He'll cook risottos, seafood pasta, curries, and especially likes cooking fish and seafood with an array of veg. His ultimate day out is going to the fishmonger, choosing a fish he's not heard of and then finding a recipe, then going to a greengrocer for organic veg and then cooking it. He's honestly amazing! And I've even now got him washing up before and after.

My question is, should I allow him to cook every day? I've been told that I shouldn't let my 10yr old cook for me everyday. That it could be dangerous for 10yr old to be using the oven, the hobs, grill, etc etc. That I'm the mother, I should be cooking for him or at least with him (he doesn't want me in the kitchen, he hates it if I look over him but I am supervising from the other room where I can see him). But tbh, he's better than me. His meals are nutritious, cooked from scratch, and balanced (nothing that I could achieve). But I've been told that like any hobby/obsession, there needs to be a balance. He needs to find other interests. He's only 10!

He plays football for a team too. He also has a younger brother, 6, who is disabled. So his cooking time is when he gets to relax and do something he loves away from his very demanding brother. I've even woken up of a weekend and DS1 is making cakes with DS2 at 7.30am letting his little bro stir the mix!!

I'm trying to find him a culinary school but all the ones for kids are basic stuff like pizza making, which is so below his standard he'd be bored, and all the ones he would like to do are for adults only.

AIBU to allow him to indulge in his cooking obsession at 10 or should I fully embrace this and be grateful I have DS who is smart, talented, and wants to cook for the family?

Can we trade children? Just for a few months or so?

I have no advice but he sounds amazing!

I wouldnt have him doing it every night and I wouldn't be expecting the dishes to be done before and after too. He's taking a HUGE load away from you. This must also be super expensive surely?

If its his down time that's fine but you then need to do the dishes.

I was cooking family meals at the same age, but not everyday. If he really does love cooking then he's just doing a hobby.

I honestly don't believe this is true.

"I've now even got him washing up before and after"

He sounds amazing!! I’d let him do it and say to him if he ever wants an evening off then of course you will cook? I think everyone else telling you should cook is probably just jealous!!

Sounds amazing, crack on!

If he's doing it safely and you're around in case something does go wrong then why not? It might change when he's at secondary school and has more work.

I would let him do it, I don't see why not, but I would supervise him just in case of accidents. Tbh I think you are lucky that he has a talent for something that he loves and is passionate about. As long as it doesn't get in the way of other activities or socializing with other kids his age, I think it's a win win.

He sounds amazing. If he wants to cook, then I would let him do it, as long as it doesn't become a chore for him.

But I wouldn't have him doing the washing up as well, thats not fair really.

@prequelle
I hear you. when I say do the dishes, I mean he puts the stuff away in the dishwasher before starting and makes sure everything he needs is washed. Then as he goes along, he'll wash or put in the dishwasher rather than when I used to come back to a kitchen that was a bomb site. He took tips from online chefs on youtube about how to keep surfaces clean and tidy whilst cooking and put it into practice. After dinner, he clears the table and I'll load dishwasher and clean the kitchen. And yes, it is expensive! He's now going through the Jamie Oliver 5 ingredients thing to keep costs down and the weekends he'll make the big sunday dinner where we can indulge a little.

I'd leave him to it to be honest. Or just tell him he can only cook on certain days of the week?

Just think most other parents have issues with the kids playing Xbox/iPAD/PS4 for hours on end...!

If he's doing it because he wants to and is familiar with basic kitchen safety (i.e. how to use the stove/oven, put out a grease fire, etc) then I see no reason why not?

If you're worried (or to put the minds of busybodies at ease) why not enroll him in a kitchen/fire safety/basic first aid course? You can usually find these offered, or even find one online? I learned it at Brownies when I was younger than your DS.

I know right! He did used to be into Xbox, then the cooking took over and he hasn't once gone on it in eight months. Might sell the thing to pay for cooking equipment haha!

@HulksPurplePanties. Great idea! He wanted to do the online Food Prep safety one cause he needs that if he wants to sell his food, which he's been asking to do to raise money for the charity relating to his brother's condition.... yes, yes, I am aware he sounds a little too good to be true!

I think you know your child in terms of his capabilities. My 9yr old can cook dinner - and does so and enjoys it. She doesn't need a deal of supervision now as she has been cooking for a while. She has SN cooking is her happy place as it is something she excels at.

Whether he should do it every night I would be led by him in some ways. If it is his happy place, and it doesn't take all night, and it isn't interfering with his school work / social activities then why not? (He should clean up as he goes - sign of a good chef - but maybe he shouldnt do the after dinner pots! :) )

So long has he doesn't feel he has to do it - I know life can be demanding with a disabled child in the house and siblings sometimes take on more than they perhaps should as a result.

I think as long as it continues to be his choice that's fine, but I think you should clear the table and do all the after cleaning and the kitchen should be clean before he starts

I'm glad I read this as my 12 year old loves cooking too and has been cooking independently for a few years too. He doesn't cook every night but he makes his own breakfast (not just a bowl of cereal - pancakes, waffles, English breakfast) and lunch everyday and dinner about once a week. We have had some concern from others that he is not being looked after properly - just because he likes cooking!

I've been told that like any hobby/obsession, there needs to be a balance. He needs to find other interests

The happiest adults I know are the ones who have followed their passions from an early age and were allowed/encouraged to do so.

Assuming he's still going to school/getting some form of excercise/having social interactions then I'd let him follow his interests.

he's sounds amazing, if he wants to do it then I don't see anything wrong with it

If he enjoys it and still has time for school work and physical exercise I don't see a problem. This is his hobby of choice and I'd rather this than hours watching YouTubers or sat in front of an Xbox.

I have a 9 year old ds who enjoys cooking using the gousto meal boxes. He can be clumsy though so I supervise (in the room). And he doesn't wash up. I think the only thing that would concern me here is the preparing cupcakes with his younger sibling whilst you were asleep. I think I would need to have rules around not using the oven, grill, hob, sharp knives etc without an adult nearby (And awake).

@LittleOwl153 Thank you :) I think you've hit the nail on the head there... some people might think I'm using DS as a slave... but honestly, he wants to do it. I ask every day if I can cook, should cook, but he says he wants to. The occasions where I say no, I need to do something quick and easy today, he get v upset. I think from the outside, people are thinking that I make DS1 do all this because of the pressures of dealing with DS2.

He sounds absolutely gorgeous. Let him get on with it.